Was I nasty/selfish to not help this man today?

[newyorkcity9]

Was on my way to work this afternoon (I’m a shift worker) and needed to stop by the office on the way to my call to pick some paperwork up. The parking outside the office is terrible so I normally just pull up on double yellows and run in quickly. I was no more than 5 minutes when I returned to my car to find another car parked in front of me and there were two men standing next to it with the bonnet up fiddling with things.

Just as I was about to get in and drive off, one of the men came up to me and asked if that was my car to which I said yes. He explained he had a flat battery and would I mind if he used my car to jumpstart it, I said no, sorry and explained I was in a rush to get to work (not strictly true but I didn’t want to be rude). The actual reason why I said no was because I felt slightly uneasy letting two random strangers mess around with my car. My car is my pride and joy and also a requirement that I need to do my job (without a car I can’t work).

I have no clue about these sorts of things, but if I did I may have felt slightly better about letting them use it as I could have observed. They could of pressed the wrong thing/broken something and I would be none the wiser.
After I said no, the man kept saying “oh but it’ll only take a minute”. I just reiterated about being late for work and apologised. As I got into my car, he walked away and I heard him mumble under his breath “bitch”, they were also giving me dirty looks when I drove away so I was kind of glad I didn’t help them tbh.

I’m just doubting myself now though. If it was you, would you have helped? I’m a carer so my job is to help people. I had a flat battery a few years ago but my brother helped me sort it, I would of never of thought to ask a random stranger on the street. AIBU?

Their reaction shows they were bad news. Best avoided.

Ordinarily I would help but you were totally justified by their reaction.

Their foul reaction shows your instinct not to help was right

Yanbu op

They’re supposed to be calling their services for that.

OP, something like a car should never be your pride and joy.

He called you a bitch and you're doubting yourself? Lucky escape I should think.

They should have been asking another bloke to help. Any bloke driving past would have done.

Its entirely possible to do a load of very expensive damage to your own car jump starting another one. Especially newer models.
Keave it to the professionals these days.
Old cars were easy its not the same now. Too many computer controlled functions that could blow without a surge protector.

You were entirely within your rights not to ask.

Two men approaching a lone woman is hardly an ideal situation. Men can be so, so oblivious to the fear a lot of women feel in such circumstances. And the fact that he was misogynistic and furious tells you all you need to know.

I don't know, I'd be pretty gobsmacked if someone said no to jumpstarting a car, it's something I've done loads and others have done for me. I'm surprised you were so unsure of it.

I think you would have been very unwise to help. How did they drive the car there with a flat battery? Sounds dodgy to me.

Two blokes can easily bump start a car. So they didn't need your help.

Plus he was a complete arsehole so you should be glad you didn't help him if it wasn't a scam.

Back in the 1990’s/ early 2000’s I had jump leads and knew how to jump start a car but these days as @Willow2017 says, cars are more complicated and I wouldn’t do it with my car now.

Really wierd that they appeared within a few minutes with their flat battery.

This is very basic and would have taken a couple of mins max, they wouldn’t have damaged your car. I’d have let them. I can see why they were pissed off you refused but he shouldn’t have called you s bitch. Although I can see why he might have thought you were one, as it’s fair to assume most motorists know this is quick and simple. And quite frankly risk free. You could even have stayed in the car.

Really wierd that they appeared within a few minutes with their flat battery.

Why? Stop the car, can’t start it. What’s weird about it?

They should have been asking another bloke to help

Eh what? She just had to raise her bonnet for approx 60 seconds!

Although I can see why he might have thought you were one

Oh I know what you mean. It’s like those people who throw ever so subtle insults at the OP, because they know if they out and out say it, their post would be deleted.

Not every male is evil, not every male is out to hurt women. FGS what if it was you and a friend who needed help and a man refused you'd be on here bitching about how unjust the world is

I would have let them. He probably was frustrated with the roads being so quiet and people being scared of going near others that it might take ages before someone else came along they could ask. He shouldn’t have sworn at you but I think his anger is understandable.

Unless it was a diesel could they not have pushed it to bump start it?

Yanbu OP

“ FGS what if it was you and a friend who needed help and a man refused you'd be on here bitching about how unjust the world is”

No, I’d have thought most people would call their services?

If your car hadn't started when you got back to it, would you have expected someone to help you? If you would, YWBU.

Their reaction proved that you were right to stay in the car.

Although I can see why he might have thought you were one

Ah of course. The OP is totally obliged to do what a man asks and is a bitch if she doesn't want to. I highly doubt he'd have called a bloke a dick or twat for not helping.

This is why so many women get into bother, because people keep telling them to ignore their own concerns about safety, FFS! Women are wrong, no matter what they do. She’s wrong for not helping, but she would also be told she ‘shouldn’t have got out of the car and put her own safety first’ if she had been harmed in some way.

All sounds a bit suspect to me....usually when your battery is dead it won't start at all, it doesn't just cut out half way through a journey.

so a bit random how this guy had obviously driven it from somewhere (as you were parked on double yellows, rather than near someone's driveway) then happened to stop right by your car on double yellow lines, so not in a normal parking spot, and in the right position to jump start it (i.e. its bonnet facing towards your bonnet), then turned the engine off for whatever reason then tried to start it again for it then not to work, realised it was a dead battery and managed to get out and get the clamps ready etc. all within less than five minutes?