to wonder why do we treat picky eaters like their 'naughty'?

[calpolatdawn]

Ive always disagreed with this,making particular eaters as children feel awful and 'the parents made them. that way' maybe because theres ASD in my family we don't have a choice of 'shoving anything infront of them' and making them eat it. Even non ASD people have sensory issues regarding food, its usually smell, texture, taste, is it 'soggy' food or 'lumpy'. As a child i was picky, my mum didn't cook 5 meals she just didn't make things she knew i wouldn't like. and put serving dishes on the table so i picked up what i would eat and left what i wouldn't, there was never ever power fights, when i got older if i was being arsy i was told to make something myself then. And i would. No battles. As an Adult i am still particular more so with fruit than veg, i only eat 2 types of fruit and will to this day not eat lumpy yoghurts. Im not being 'whiny' or difficult, its not easy going through life with aversion to foods and going to a buffet and sighing that you could only eat 3 things. I don't think anyone would choose to be like that. I have 1 child who is like me, and one who isnt and is much more flexible. Is it just me who feels making children feel naughty for being picky eaters is wrong?

I am very glad we went with the advice of professionals and not the lunacy encouraged by the "make them eat it or staaaaaaaaarve" brigade.

Same

Handwriting and Cutlery skills are really compromised without using a table but I don't want to digress. There are very few houses where you can't have a table of any form.

I think for some understanding and implementing the practices of good nutrition are just not practised and are then surprised when there are issues around food and weight.

Celerysam have you seriously never been in a new build flat? Room for a dinning table? Yeah right. Only if you have one that can be folded away and then when it's up it would take up the whole of the 'living' area of the open plan kitchen/living room. And don't even think of trying to put chairs around it.

My youngest was nearly 9 months old before she are solids. I tried every meal we ate and jars but she just refused to eat. Loved her bottles but I started to worry she'd never eat. Then one day she watched our eldest eating ready break. I made her some (really runny) and she actually ate it.
It was a sign really. Plain food is fine but as soon as I add in spices, herbs or strong flavours she won't eat it. There is little point in making her eat something she will gag or be sick on.

Or a house with a postage stamp sized kitchen, no dining room, and a living room that's full by the time you put in a sofa.

@Celerysam I’m 32, until I moved into the flat I live in now (last April) I had never lived anywhere that had room for a dining table. Lots of homes do not have the room, especially as it is becoming more common for living areas to be used as bedrooms due to high rents in the UK.

@Celerysam is either clueless or goady.

I grew up in a house with a dining table. I preferred to do my homework laying on my bed, or at the library.

I spent my childhood being told I'm a picky/fussy eater and to eat what I was given or go hungry. When I met my DH who is a great cook he introduced me to all sorts of new things. Turns out I'm not picky, I just love different food to the rest of my family.

Love roasted broccoli, brussel sprouts and cabbage but hate peas, broad beans and swede.

Love pickled gherkins, capers and red cabbage but hate boiled potatoes, mash or mince.

I have decided to have a different approach where meals can be adapted within a range. 2 veg offered where both DC like at least 1 of them. Sauce in a jug so can choose (e.g. 1 loves gravy and 1 hates it) And it makes mealtimes much less of a battle than they were for me. Our DC love fajitas, seabass and curry. It's taken a few attempts to refine them to suit everyone in a healthy way but my DM didn't want to make that level of effort. Horses for courses but it certainly taught me what I wouldn't do myself.

Celerysam have you seriously never been in a new build flat?

Not just new build. My old flat was hastily knocked together by prisoners of war built in 1946/7. If I chucked out the two seat settee that was the largest that could fit through the 2'6'' front door and made everybody crouch on the floor underneath, I'd have had room for a table in front of the gas fire. Wouldn't have been able to open the living room door if chairs were also involved, mind, but I suppose a table would have been usable if they had stood at it to eat.

I remember the irritation when informed by the eldest's head that if parents were so selfish as to make their teenagers not have their own room with desk and computer/printer/home library when everybody could give up use of their study for the duration or had a perfectly usable dining room left empty all day and a garage to convert, then they might as well not bother taking their GCSEs as they were doomed to failure. In a community school with over 75% FSM and where the majority of the intake came from the blocks of small flats that overlooked the premises.

I live in a flat. My kitchen you can touch each side at the same time. The lounge is approx 3m x 3m. No room for a dining table.

I’ve been in lots of houses that don’t have a table.Many were simply too small and living rooms had duel usage as bedrooms or storage areas. Some where just about big enough but there was too many people in the house to warrant the space for a table.
I grew up believing a table was essential and I still think it is but I totally understand it’s just not feasible in many cases especially if its only used for evening dinner. It’s also possible to have a small table but quite another to expect homework being done at it when four other family members are sat beside you watching the telly, getting up down for tea or the loo, coming in and out the house with the front door in li the living room etc.

@Celerysam That's just not true though. As I was saying in an earlier post, I grew up in a poor country at a time when there wasn't a big variety of food (no big supermarkets, not many fast food places etc). Children ate what the adults did - usually some sort of vegetable stew with or without meat, soups, bread and plain yoghurt. I'd never even tasted cereal, chicken nuggets or chips before moving to the Uk aged 13, because they weren't widely available and would've been expensive anyway, compared to local veg and meat from the markets. I still managed to be picky and couldn't stand certain textures and tastes, and I knew other fussy eaters too, we preferred to go hungry than eat stuff we hated. We weren't indulged either, parents just didn't have the time or money for that. We ended up just not eating enough and being underweight. It's a myth than fussy eating is a first world problem caused by parents indulging their children with junk food.
I'd rather give a child chicken nuggets if it meant they ate something rather than have them go hungry or have constant battles about food. There's actually nothing wrong with the foods you describe and most children grow out of fussy eating eventually.

Watching the news yesterday there was a piece about a care worker who was living in one room with her son.

Some people don't have a clue.

Also, wholemeal pasta is grainy and chewy. Plus children shouldn't have too much fibre in their diets so wholemeal products should be restricted, particularly for the under 5s.

Is this true? I didn't know this. I have two under 5s who mostly have wholegrain bread and pasta. They get very little fibre from veg, (unless I hide it they won't eat much) so I thought at least they were getting some from the wholegrains?

As a kid it literally never occurred to me to do my homework at the dining table. Not private, covered in my dad’s random mess half the time - why would I want to?

Also, wtf does that have to do with the thread topic?

@Colom high fibre foods can fill them up too quickly and often aren't very high in calories which they need for growth then because they're full they won’t eat enough from other food groups to meet their nutritional needs and to get the amount of calories they need. 15g a day is the recommended amount.