to wonder why do we treat picky eaters like their 'naughty'?

[calpolatdawn]

Ive always disagreed with this,making particular eaters as children feel awful and 'the parents made them. that way' maybe because theres ASD in my family we don't have a choice of 'shoving anything infront of them' and making them eat it. Even non ASD people have sensory issues regarding food, its usually smell, texture, taste, is it 'soggy' food or 'lumpy'. As a child i was picky, my mum didn't cook 5 meals she just didn't make things she knew i wouldn't like. and put serving dishes on the table so i picked up what i would eat and left what i wouldn't, there was never ever power fights, when i got older if i was being arsy i was told to make something myself then. And i would. No battles. As an Adult i am still particular more so with fruit than veg, i only eat 2 types of fruit and will to this day not eat lumpy yoghurts. Im not being 'whiny' or difficult, its not easy going through life with aversion to foods and going to a buffet and sighing that you could only eat 3 things. I don't think anyone would choose to be like that. I have 1 child who is like me, and one who isnt and is much more flexible. Is it just me who feels making children feel naughty for being picky eaters is wrong?

So people with autism, ARFID, SPD, etc are insane now?

@dadshere

It is funny how a lot of these picky eaters have a 'condition' and it is not their fault.

Yeah, autism is fucking hilarious.

You only need to look at anorexia to see pope do staff themselves, however then are sometimes sectioned and not deemed insane but def not be able to think for themselves in a rational manner, so this could be applied to the above.

www.acamh.org/blog/avoidant-restrictive-food-intake-disorder-arfid/

There’s extremely dedicated very clever medicine practitioners who dedicate their careers to this. But someone on mumsnet decides that ‘no child will starve themselves !’ And ‘all kids eat chocolate!’

Yeah ok then.

No sane person will ever starve.. Do you have any idea how rude and ill informed you sound? My teenage DD certainly would starve if the foods she's able to eat weren't available. She has a diagnosis of ARFID and it distresses her greatly when judgy and frankly rude people comment on what she eats. She never comments on their food yet they think it's fine to comment on what she eats. To the outside world she appears as a healthy, fit (thanks to NHS prescribed supplements) intelligent and highly sociable teenager but she has to cope every day with this diagnosis. This thread has really upset me and I'm only continuing to engage because if just one judgy and ignorant person pauses to think in the future about ARFID when faced with a 'picky' eater then perhaps that's one hurtful comment less in the world. Google ARFID, the information is out there.

psychiatrist asap

Calling autistic children “insane” is appalling.

And you can realistically assume children with severe ASD will already be under the care of medical professionals.

If you read the article about ARFID it seems apparent that the child's issues have all started after a traumatic event eg choking on a boiled sweet and have underlying anxiety issues already.
It doesnt

@Schoenes You are showing your ignorance. An eating disorder does not equal insanity. Perhaps comment on what you have experience or knowledge of, and desist on the things you do not. Or, you could go one step further, and actually hear what people who know far more about this issue than you do are saying, and learn something. Then you might show a lot less ignorance next time round.

Sewingbea this hread was originally talking about fussy eaters, but your child has a medical condition, it,s not the same is it. But As part of that condition is the irrational thought, thats not offesive thats but of the condition. A fussy eater is rational.

When it comes to dinner parties do the people who get annoyed by the 'picky' eaters also have the same view about the drinks they provide?
"Wouldn't you like wine?"
"No thanks. I don't like wine"
Is that rude? Is that annoying?

A fussy eater is rational.

I'm sorry, are you suggesting those with other conditions are also 'irrational'?

I do wish folks could get a grip.

Today, we had jacket potatoes for lunch.

I had mine with butter, cheese and sriracha spicy sauce
DP had his with no butter as he’s not big on it, cheese and beans. I don’t like beans much.
DD had hers with butter and cheese. She neither likes sriracha sauce or beans.

How were any of us being fussy or ‘annoying’? Why would I have made dd’s potato with beans or sriracha sauce, when I know she doesn’t like it ? Why would I have put butter on DP’s, when it’s so easy to just NOT put butter on it ? What makes our preferences so terrible? You’d think from some of the posters on here, you’d just go ahead and make someone a potato with butter, cheese and beans and plonk some sauce on top for good measure, and if they don’t eat it, they’re so fussy and annoying !!

This is what I don’t get about people who whine about picky eaters being ‘annoying’, ‘irritating’ or ‘making life difficult for them’. How is it making your life difficult if you want beans and they don’t? I don’t get it!

@Schoenes out of interest what’s your diet like and are you slim? Just wondering if you’re one of those ‘i eat everything, fussy people are so annoying!’ people who is actually a greedy fuck.

To staff oneself is irrational. To eat so much that you become a shut in is irrational. To have a phobia of food is irrational.

Starve not staff.

@june2007, and what about those with ASD, SPD and other similar conditions? Also irrational?

I do wish ableist idiots would get a grip.

My “picky eater” has a psychiatrist, a psychologist, an occupational therapist, an allergist, a speech pathologist, and an ENT who does things like shove cameras down her nasal passage to examine her throat. Is that enough intervention?

My picky eater who needs to always wear soft clothing and needs routine changes explained to her is also frighteningly smart and will probably end up being an incredibly successful adult. Legally she has a disability. That doesn’t make her crazy or naughty. She sees a psychiatrist and psychologist to help her deal with the stress of living in a world that doesn’t understand people like her. She has an ENT and a speech pathologist to deal with a malfunction in her vocal chords that makes normal childhood activity trigger breathing problems and trips to the ER. None of those specialists care at all that she is a picky eater. I no longer care that she is a picky eater. I do care that she lives in a world full of people who think poorly of her because she is a picky eater.

Can I just say I’m one of those “I eat anything” greedy fucks, but I also find the food police really annoying.

So I mostly do eat everything, but I find it absolutely bizarre that a subset of people are so absolutely determined to make eating a miserable experience for people they are meant to like/love.

Like, what is the point of that?

My “picky eater” has a psychiatrist, a psychologist, an occupational therapist, an allergist, a speech pathologist, and an ENT who does things like shove cameras down her nasal passage to examine her throat. Is that enough intervention? The poor kid.