Nothing less sexy...

[Coronaaapetite]

AIBU in thinking there is nothing less appealing than a fully grown man playing computer/console games?

There are so many threads on Mumsnet moaning about these manchildren and I just can't get the image of a slightly tubby, sweaty, hairy man sitting in the dark, surrounded by crisp packets, hunched over a screen swearing at whoever is on the other end....yuck, right?

I'd rather do stuff together of an evening

“Is there ever a thread on here that mentions computer gaming where the OP doesn't feel neglected due to it? I know it can be very addictive, just seems a huge drain on time to me...especially when you have children or work.“

Because people don’t feel the need to start threads about how their DH games but he’s not a dick so it’s no issue.

Yanbu

YANBU sound exactly like my ex

What's wrong @Coronaaapetite? Hubby not giving you enough attention?

Glad to see examples of partners gaming that doesn't impact family life.

I mean like... Use logic OP... Obviously people will not come here and start thread about My partner has gaming as a hobby and it's fine because it's treated as a normal hobby so we have time for each other and family.

If you don't realise that MN is in no way indicative of how most relationships are, because it is 99% only about negatives (obviously), you should get off it, work on your critical thinking and come back when you can work out that something being a common complaint here, doesn't mean it's like that in all relationships (obviously).

My first husband was an alcoholic, would go straight from work to the pub, spend weekends at the pub, the kids barely knew him. One of the saddest things I ever heard was my little boy saying how good it was we got divorced as he saw his dad EOW and one night a week.

My second husband loves his computers and games, played with the children, was always home when not working, was never drunk and out of control.

So from my point of view I didn't find anything sexy about a drunk rolling in after midnight wanting sex, I also didn't find him a good father or reliable partner but I guess we are all different and you are entitled to your view.

@pika09. He's out cycling

It depends. If he doesn’t spend all his time playing games in his spare time and he helps out, does chores and takes care of the children then I think spending some chill time playing games is okay. If he’s spending all his spare time on it then yes that’s awful!

My partner is a gamer. He goes to work, he does some things around the house, he often cooks and is a very hands on dad entertaining them, bathing them and does bedtime most nights so I don’t mind him spending some time on the computer (he’s not a console gamer).

Tbh I'd rather my OH play a game on his computer for hours on end than sit there constantly shoving how mobile phone in my face to show me 'something funny' on twitter/Facebook.

I certainly don't feel neglected when he plays on his game. I can't stand sitting around staring at the TV, so while he's occupied with his game I can potter/go to the gym/study/go for a bit of shopping uninterrupted.

Im a gamer and my husband is a gamer so... No but it is a turn off if a man is lazy and wont help with the household.. But thats nothing to do with games thats the man.

*his mobile phone

It's one of the biggest entertainment industries around, I've no idea why it's so stigmatised. My DH is a big gamer, but also a responsible employee and father, and does far more housework than me. When we sit down for the evening, I get out my laptop or phone and go on MN out similar, he games. That's the story in most houses, it's just not very interesting. Much like MIL, people tend to only have cause to mention on here when it's part of a problem.

I also think it's brilliant for spacial reasoning.

@blueheaven97

I didn’t realise hobbies had to be sexy either. I’ve been knitting in my pjs all this time when I should have been wearing some racy lingerie.

My husband is out of the house for 12 hours a day at work, and then when he comes back more often than not I'm still doing conference calls and he will get dinner on the go. He also does more than his fair share of the cleaning. So if he wants to relax and enjoy himself by playing some Fifa or Red Dead Redemption, I really could not care less.

My husband likes to game and I like to scroll on mumsnet. Neither activities are bad are they? Adults get to choose what they want to do in their down time. Is scrolling on mumsnet equally unattractive to you?

While I do agree that the image you described is particularly unsexy, the types of men being described as selfish, lazy man-children on these boards, would probably find other ways to be selfish and lazy without the playstation or XBox.
I encouraged my partner to get a playstation at the beginning of lockdown as he has too much energy and drives me crazy pacing the floor when he has nothing to do. I love when he gets lost in a game for a few hours and leaves me alone to let my brain vegetate scrolling through mumsnet or social media!

As has been said surely it’s more about if someone spends all their time doing a certain hobby, rather than what it is.

To the few people on this thread saying it’s a massive turn off, I’d love to know what hobbies they find acceptable?

@Coronaaapetite So, not giving you enough attention then.

Both myself and DP spend a fair amount of time gaming - sometimes playing together, mostly separate. I also play hours and hours of minecraft with a good friend who moved to NY...it's a good way to still feel connected with him, other than chat. Fortunately for him, his boyfriend is also a gaming fan so he is likely also playing something and isn't bothered!

It’s the man equivalent of collecting and playing with reborn dolls

well, adults playing video games are a bit sad.

Between a full time job, a house and kids, general sport and social gatherings, most people are pretty busy so they must be giving up on something else to find the time - that's what I find unattractive.

I found posters who equal watching tv with "quality family time" equally bad frankly . How many threads of women miffed because their partner are not interested in watching tv with them? If they both waste entire evenings and weekends stuck in front of a screen, then fair enough.

YABY to make it a male issue, when it obviously isn't.

I play computer games so does my OH. Sometimes we even play them together!

We never play when out DD is awake so its very much a free time hobby. Like others have said, most things in moderation are fine. Its when something (anything) takes over that its a problem.

I'd rather DH game - he does very occasionally, wouldn't describe him as a gamer - that be into Love Island, TOWIE, Britain's Got Talent, and all the other mindless garbage TV out there.
Or, dare I say it, football.
There's plenty less sexy.

Not sure why it's so different to writing on mumsnet.

Any hobby is ridiculous if taken to the extreme, look at all the cycling widows on here.