Nothing less sexy...

[Coronaaapetite]

AIBU in thinking there is nothing less appealing than a fully grown man playing computer/console games?

There are so many threads on Mumsnet moaning about these manchildren and I just can't get the image of a slightly tubby, sweaty, hairy man sitting in the dark, surrounded by crisp packets, hunched over a screen swearing at whoever is on the other end....yuck, right?

So what hobby is attractive to you? Fishing? Wearing waders gets you going, does it? Loads of gear that smells like dank water and fish, taking up all the space in your house. Your OH disappearing all day with no company except a portable radio? Golf? Wearing those trousers and looking like Donald trump? Football? Coming home covered in mud, smelling of sweat and probably having scoffed a Big Mac with the boys on the way? Cycling? You really think your OH (or anybody) looks great in Lycra do you?

Honestly the only hobbies that I can think of when a men will look sexy is swimming, running and rugby (although that’s professional rugby not rugby on a Sunday morning with a pie after). The other problem is what you’re describing is a lazy arse. Lazy arses can play rugby or swim but they can also play video games. It’s the lazy arse that is the problem, not the hobby.

My husband plays football, cycles and video games, it’s not his hobbies I’m attracted to, it’s him. Also, I doubt he gets turned on with my hobbies. Sitting on MN, surrounded by wine and snacks, is absolutely attractive Painting l, I wear my scruffy clothes, dab paint on my hand and will swear at my canvas. I might sometimes have snacks. How is that a different situation than video games?

I imagine OP saw the World Of Warcraft episode of South Park and thought it was real.

That's the only time I've seen a gamer match up to that stereotype...

I think the massive difference is that the gaming with the types of dickheads that play for hours and hours to the detriment of everyone else in their household is that gaming here, in and of itself, isn't the issue. It's the man himself and his selfishness is the problem. So gaming becomes a negative association. A regular, sensible gamer who games as you would partake in a hobby I have no issue with. It's no different to playing a sport, or reading a book, or weaving a basket or gardening or bird watching etcetc. These things can also be done in excess and become a problem to relationships. My DP games, but also does a whole host of other things. He looks, cleans, gardens, entertains everyone, thinks of fun and interesting things to do and places to go, has some other crazy hobbies, and pretty much attends to my every need and whim . So I don't have any issue with him spending a few evenings a week playing the PS. It doesn't seem unsexy to me at all. I know in the past though I've dated the first type of gamer (the selfish type) and it's boring as fuck, and I definitely found it unsexy then, not because of the gaming, because the neglect within the relationship was unsexy.

Ah it seems very polarised!

Glad to see examples of partners gaming that doesn't impact family life.

Oh, and it's not MY stereotype, it's THE stereotype of gaming grown men. Sorry.

I love gaming so I find it sexy.

I would've thought THE stereotype was more of a Sheldon Cooper vibe.

What about women who play computer games?
Is that a problem as well.
I seem to be able to manage work,co - run a house, socialise ( on normal times) but since restrictions have been in place been playing games more.
DH seems to still find me sexy though!

I think the most unsexy thing is ignorance and you’re winning that race.

AIBU to think there's nothing less sexy than a man into football? I just can't get the image of a drunk, lairy, shouting, unintelligent, violent hooligan getting overly invested in other people running up and down a field out of my head.

AIBU to think there's nothing less sexy than a man who cycles? I just can't get the image out of my head of a sad, spandex-covered, sweaty, desperate, middle-aged man who has replaced all normal conversations with talks about bikes and races.

AIBU to think there's nothing less sexy than a male office worker? I just can't get the image out of my head of a bespectacled, balding, boring, misogynistic prick who spend all day sucking up to their bosses and can't look at a woman without sweating profusely.

Huh, it's almost as if you can make anyone sound disgusting and unattractive if you take all the worst cliches associated with something about them and apply them with a good dose of exaggeration.

Who knew!

Most people do not fit into stereotypes, so pretty unhelpful to view the world through them

Like any hobby (cycling anyone?) if it starts to encroach on family life and as I've seen on here so many times it replaces is used to avoid responsibility at home then it becomes a problem. It's not gaming specifically.

I have an ex who is addicted to gaming. It makes his anger issues much worse (broke numerous controllers and punched holes in walls during his rages). It was horrible. It took over his and my life. Games arranged with his mates for hours every night that simply couldn't be missed or the world would end

But he was also obsessed with football and F1. When either of those were on he disappeared as well. He was generally a selfish arse and it did put me off gamers for a while. It is an anti social hobby but in moderation it's ok imo.

It makes me gag too. I can not think of anything less attractive to be honest. Seriously up there with train spotting and a collection of children's toys as an adult.

YANBU

Ds and I recently bought a games console. It is much more fun than I thought it would be. I prefer it to sitting watching tv.

DH plays a computer game for about an hour or so 2-3 times a week. Sometimes he has a slightly longer session in the evening, maybe 2.5 hours? Ot has never stopped him taking part fully in family life. It takes last priority over cooking, tidying, childcare etc.

Not everyone is addicted to it or ignores other needs to feed it.

I think it comes across online that it causes so many issues because you're only really going to post about it if it's disrupting your life. My boyfriend plays video games but he also works hard, has a full social life and is so lovely and attentive to me. He plays his games while I watch tv or read, it's just a way of unwinding for him, so it doesn't take over our lives.

Doesn't bother me but 90% of the time I'd probably be playing with my DH. We game everyday.

I can imagine it would be annoying if I didn't though.

But that's a very stereotypical view you have there. My DH is an engineer. I am an accountant. We game daily.

I have to say you do sound very judgemental and stereotypical. A harmless pastime doesn't define a person surely?

My dp games, not excessively, and I would much rather him do that than be out at the pub! It's his thing. I like reading and binge watching Netflix. It's called having a hobby.

If you're talking about men who sit on a console for 23 hours a day grunting and neglecting their other husbandly duties then yes that would be unacceptable but the same could be said for any hobby done to excess.

Bit of a mean spirited thread really.

Agreed. YANBU. I cannot understand the attraction. But I suppose for some it’s a mutual thing.

Is there ever a thread on here that mentions computer gaming where the OP doesn't feel neglected due to it?

Surely someone only starts a thread about it if it's a problem. You don't hear about the situations that it's not. And plenty of things are less sexy - cruelty, racism, etc.

You are stereotyping a bit and the stereotype is slightly outdated.

But I secretly agree with you. I fight this but I also find it a huge turn off.

Seriously up there with train spotting and a collection of children's toys as an adult.

Spot on

Both myself and my DH are computer and console gamers. We're very techy overall really and have lots of automated devices etc. I definitely think you're buying into the stereotype here and it's not true. We still only have the same amount of time for these hobbies as we would have for any other 'acceptable' adult hobby so limit the time we spend doing it.

I think what you might be picking up on is that it's unattractive to be ignored in preference of something you deem less important. It's also unattractive to be taken for grants, do more than your fair share, and be with someone who is selfish/focuses on themselves. But they can do that in all sorts of different hobbies.

A hobby itself isn't an attractive/unattractive thing. Although if you have inbuilt stereotypes/opinions on particular hobbies then it will probably affect how attracted/unattracted you are to someone.

Maybe they're not doing it to be sexy, but because it's a hobby they enjoy?

I wasn't aware hobbies had to be sexy for the benefit of other people.

People who stereotype others based on hobbies have lazy imaginations.

And lazy imaginations are ugly