Nothing less sexy...

[Coronaaapetite]

AIBU in thinking there is nothing less appealing than a fully grown man playing computer/console games?

There are so many threads on Mumsnet moaning about these manchildren and I just can't get the image of a slightly tubby, sweaty, hairy man sitting in the dark, surrounded by crisp packets, hunched over a screen swearing at whoever is on the other end....yuck, right?

Me and dp are both gamers.
Dp is very attractive, also enjoys bmx and takes care of himself.
He manages to earn 50k a year and is a great partner and step dad.
Personally, I find men who constantly go to the pub or who watch shite tv unattractive, but each to their own!

DH doesn't play computer games. However, if he was fat, sweaty, hairy, smelly, stuffing himself with crisps, wearing grubby tracksuit bottoms and stained T-shirts and never shifting from the sofa, I would find that unattractive. Nothing to do with computer games.

I can't imagine he would feel overly attracted to me either if that was what I did.

Smelly, unclean people are not attractive - bad breath, rotten teeth, unwashed hair, smelly feet, dirty clothes - all awful.

But so are other things - unkindness to other people or animals is awful, meanness of spirit, violence and controlling of others, snobbery, not caring about the environment, lack of generosity materially, dishonesty, no sense of humour, nor caring, selfishness, arrogance, are all horrible characteristics (much worse than playing a computer game).

I find stereotyping ppl (and then acting like your'e not) and people bashing no matter what the race or gender very unappealing.

It doesn't do it for me, but then post-menopause I wonder what I ever saw in men to begin with!

It's not something of which I have had experience. Computer games are here but nobody ever played to excess and certainly not during the evening when we were together.

It's childish in the extreme but could be a sign of addiction.

😂I’m wondering that and I’m mid 40s Spartacus. They’re so over rated.

Is there ever a thread on here that mentions computer gaming where the OP doesn't feel neglected due to it?

This is a bit of a daft thing to say, OP. That's like claiming that no man in the country is faithful to his wife based on the content of the Relationships board, or that nobody has a straightforward birth based on Pregnancy. People come to MN and ask for support when they have a problem. Should I start regularly updating you on my handsome, fit, attentive husband who plays some games in addition to his fair share of parenting and housework?

Haha you’re funny.

My DP is a gamer. He also takes good care of himself, goes to the gym. He games in our lounge (as do I). Usually, the windows are open, candles are lit and shockingly we put out snacks in bowls and drinks in glasses before bringing into the lounge.

One of my best guy mates is, objectively, the most attractive guy I’ve met in a long time. He gets hit on without fail anywhere we go. I wonder how these women (and men) who hit on him would feel if they knew what he did behind closed doors filthy gamer

Don't have an issue myself as long as they don't play late into the night, I play games too

I have exactly the same stereotyped image in my head when I read about useless, gaming husbands on here. But in truth, my husband also plays on his Xbox most nights and he's nothing at all like a crisp-eating slob.

I don't mind at all. I just sit on the sofa and MN!

I have never ever seen a game which, for instance, involves nothing more than a pleasant walk down a virtual country lane to look at the scenery (and without accompanying noise/music and so on).

Have a look at Everybody's Gone to the Rapture, @WanderingMilly. It is as pastoral and bucolic as you could desire and available on PS4 and PC

How about looking at in terms of hobby vs addiction? It seems the stereotype is the addicted gamer vs all the exceptions suddenly popping up here for whom it's a genuine hobby...

Is there a game where the protagonist is a middle-aged woman who gets to slaughter anyone or anything that annoys her? I might go for that, especially if there were double points for each time she got to slaughter a man being sexist or misogynist.

Caveat. I played a game once and I didn't enjoy it. The movement on the screen made me nauseous and I ended up being sick.

Such games are the normal for small children and teenagers seem to get hooked on them, but adults? No, you should have grown out of such things by now. I have never, ever played a computer game in my life and never shall. I also have an issue with the games I see youngsters playing which involve endless violence, killing people or monsters or whatever. I also think games desensitise the player to reality, and promote intense competitiveness in an unhealthy way.

I mean, you could say the same about talking to strangers on the internet, couldn't you @WanderingMilly? Really we should have grown out of such things by now. Certainly MN promotes intensive competitiveness in an unhealthy way... and yet, here you are .

This again, are you the same poster asking why anyone could find men who game attractive on other threads?

Hobbies do not have to be sexy. People are allowed to just enjoy things, for their own sake, without it being specifically designed to make them more sexually attractive to the opposite sex. Would you say the same to a woman in tracksuits sat on MN?

If you want to talk about how gaming contributes to neglect in relationships then fair enough, but focusing on whether it is sexy or not is incredibly shallow.

Wow, what a stereotypical outdated view.

Both myself and my OH are "gamers" both of us work FT I work in a care home and OH is a police officer. Both of us work out every day and home cook everything. Does this fall in to your stereotype?

What does it matter to you what people do with their free time. Go sit down and watch Eastenders!

I'll add a caveat too @yetanotherspartacus - if someone put Spyro the dragon or paperboy in front of me, I would happily play it...until the kids woke up, or the washing finished, or it was time for work or bed.

Such games are the normal for small children and teenagers seem to get hooked on them, but adults? No, you should have grown out of such things by now.

What about reading fiction (story books), watching animation (cartoons), or doing crafts?

Oh god, a lycra clad cycling twat is FAR less attractive!

Kidding. Sort of.

What a lack of imagination you have OP. Maybe you should play a few games to open your mind a bit.

@ByzantinePrincess - wouldn’t bother me.. we all have our preferences

Yeah its the 'addiction' thing that's unattractive. I don't know if its a true addiction, but when you see a guy totally ignoring all other responsibilities in their life, ignoring their partner, because they simply have to finish a game, that's is very unattractive and more than a bit tragic.

But you could get that with other 'addictions' too. Like pp say, the middle aged bicycle enthusiast wedged like a sausage into his spanx, and blokes that can't skip arm day (definitely don't fit the junk food eating, slob gamer stereotype). There's tons of threads about golf widows.

Ultimately its an expression of men's selfishness, where they can step out of family life because they need some 'me' time. Women, usually, have less mental space to even pick up a hobby with such indulgence.

Even my Warcraft addicted ex fiancé didn’t match this description.

He was very sexy, slim, gorgeous blue eyes, ate well and was very healthy ..... such a shame we broke up because of his addiction though.

I really loved that man.

I’m a software developer and I hope I’m still a bit sexy

AIBU in thinking there is nothing less appealing than a fully grown man playing computer/console games?

He might have a similar view of 'nothing less sexy than my partner spending time on Mumsnet with strangers rather than with me'

That would be wrong too - but it does cut both ways.

Oneandtwenty you seem to think everyone lives life the way you do (playing sport, social gatherings) and if they don’t then they are “sad”. How narrow minded.

I get that you find active, sporty people attractive and that these men will be most compatible with you and your lifestyle. Absolutely fine, of course.

But I don’t play sport (I have a disability that makes it tricky) and I’m an introvert who tends to get “peopled out” at work, so yes I like to sometimes get lost in a video game.

I do not, however, make sweeping comments like “people who play sport are sad” because they don’t live life the way I do.

A typical weekend with my DH used to be: him going to the football most of the day Saturday, drinks with mates after, golf Sunday morning, home around 2 for lunch whilst I looked after the DC. He was a selfish pig and we very nearly split up because of it. I guarantee it the selfishness rather than the actual 'gaming' causing the problems in the relationships.