Too fat for sex

[lindsay2900]

Does anyone feel like this if you're over 18st? I was 16st in December, now 19st I find sex so difficult now being this size, feel fat and sometimes claustrophobic when on my back. When I was 16st, I was fine. Could easily move around.

😅

19 st is a very unhealthy weight and OP is already unhappy about how their weight is impacting this aspect of their life. Of course everyone on here is encouraging OP to see this is as a motivator to lose weight.

I would also say gaining 3st in 6m is very rapid weight gain..OP do you have any MH issues causing bingeing etc? Perhaps a good start point would be to chat to your GP about any issues you do have.

You need to lose weight. 19st is ridiculous.

You need to lose weight. 19st is ridiculous.

FFS! Could that be a more judgemental response??

@MillennialPink You should contact the government to offer that sort of top quality insight and medical advice.

@MillennialPink oh come on! It just calmed down🤷🏻

You should contact the government to offer that sort of top quality insight and medical advice

Yep I'm sure their skills are in great demand.

For crying out loud 🙄

So Mumsnetters think 19 stone is a perfectly sensible weight, do they?

I'm 19st and don't find sex difficult at all but it doesn't matter about anyone else
@MillennialPink you're a lovely person

Right if any of these women telling other women to lose weight fancy a good old fashioned Internet argument then step the fuck up. I'm three days late and sick of being indoors and I'd love to blow off some steam putting you in your place.

@Coolname Step outside ...

This is ridiculous. The op claims that sex is impossible now because of their size. What advice can people give, if it isn't to lose weight?

Either she accepts that she can't have sex anymore or she tries to do something about the reason why she can't have sex. There aren't any other options are there?

Of course we don't we're not stupid, you coming on and saying 19 stone is unhealthy is like coming on and saying the sky us blue you hair brained moron.

...and in the meantime while losing weight she could ask for advice about sex at a higher weight instead of abstaining for 9 months to a year..

@grumpyorange
When i've eaten a lot of crap food or overeaten a lot on a particular day or over a period of a few days I have zero energy for anything and am lethargic, I definitely don't want to have sex!
What we're eating affects mood, motivation and energy levels.
It's not rocket science!

And you don't think they've tried other things?

@user1481840227 think you need to realise that it isn't the case for everybody 🤷🏼‍♀️

Also just because you're overweight doesn't mean you're eating constantly!

Read the beginning and the end

What a load of horrible responses op Jesus

Go with what others have said re trying different positions

My DH is obese and also rugby build & tall. I am 5'3 (not overweight, not that that matters). I tried to hop on top the other day and struggled to straddle him due to width and also get near the important bit due to tum! So, not done that again! Must be a common thing, 1 in 4 are overweight or obese.

Try different things and good luck

Weight loss is not just about diet and exercise though is it? It’s about childhood, love, self love, self esteem, feelings of worthiness, fear......
@lindsay2900
If I were you I would try and have intimacy and closeness, and enjoy and respect my body. I know this isn’t straightforward though.

@user1481840227 I absolutely agree with you on the food-energy/mood thing. I am much more energetic now. Even though I was eating generally OK there were some things which I had basically daily and oh my. So hard to NOT have them, but the difference it made! Deep fried things are addictive. So is actually having energy and not being bloated.

Oh lord, lots of very touchy people about! The op said sex was easier at 16 stone, difficult at 19 stone..... since when was it against the rules to state the obvious? Yes, it may not help her this afternoon but she didn’t give a time period. If I posted saying I’m underweight and my sticky out bones are hurting when my lover is on top of me I would not be in the least offended if someone suggested I put on a bit of weight. I also don’t think there would be pages of people defending my skinniness and telling us all it’s not just a case of eating more.........

@grumpyorange
It's the case for most people.

I never said that she was eating constantly, but 3 stone in 6 months is a lot of weight gain in a short period of time!

Firstly my recommendation for op is to buy a sex swing!
I hear great things about them and it looks like a right laugh.
Seriously I hope you get through this and enjoy your body with your partner.
Okay let's discuss weight loss.
It's hard. Really hard. We all have different metabolisms. I tried everything going, I carried my baby weight for 8 years.
I'm not skinny, never have been.
I've got massive tits and wide hips.
But I'm now at the top end of healthy weight for my height.
I'm 5'2"
I was at my heaviest over 17 stone.
My heart ached with every lettuce leaf I ate.
People were rude to me and dismissive.
It's a bizarre type of prejudice that people don't necessarily see. Most fat people don't want to be fat.
The hatred you are spewing is nothing new, the sad thing is you are probably a twisted damaged soul.
When someone is reaching out for help, and your first instinct is to tell them something they already know, alluding to the idea they should be ashamed is really fucked up.
Would you ram a magnum down an anorexic person's throat?
Oh no because that's a more obvious illness.
Women arrive at 18 already destroyed by the beauty norms fed to us through magazines, x factor, Holly fakeass Willoughby.
Desperately trying not yo be singled out as not hood enough because their bum is too big or too small. Their hair is too curly or their eyebrows aren't symetrical.
So imagine you survive all that horrific bullshit and actually find a decent life partner. You're world weary and you just want to be close but sex seems logistically tricky. You don't need to be told to lose weight. You need support. You need friendship. YOU NEED A GOOD DICKING.

Stop being so unkind. It's really shitty.

I love you @Coolname