Too fat for sex

[lindsay2900]

Does anyone feel like this if you're over 18st? I was 16st in December, now 19st I find sex so difficult now being this size, feel fat and sometimes claustrophobic when on my back. When I was 16st, I was fine. Could easily move around.

Well what are people meant to say? Did op just want people to commiserate with her?

Yeah, why not. Or don't say anything at all 🤷‍♀️

Have you tried spooning with him behind? Another good position when overweight is to start missionary and then roll onto your side. This is a recent discovery and works well. I have always been overweight and only ever had the one partner, DH, but do think some positions would be easier if slim.

I yhink the fact OP has disappeared suggests they actually just wanted to throw a grenade and wind people up.

Have been both fat and thin and somewhere inbetween.....am now towards the thinner end of the scale, and yes to be honest it’s physically much easier for me. Doesn’t mean it’s that way for everyone, but I found it impacted my mobility and also my self-confidence. The latter was more damaging to my sex life though. If you can be fat and fabulous and sexually confident, then good for you, but I just couldn’t - not even knowing that my DH had no issue with my weight.

Obviously sex is about much more than fitting one piece inside another. That aspect matters I guess if you’re trying to conceive, but otherwise it’s about how you please each other and that’s nobody else’s business.

Wish you well OP.

No, she asked a question, which is in the opening post.

The only question is do others find it difficult.

So, are people just meant to answer "yes" or "no" then?

She didn’t ask about weight loss. If you can’t allow people space to discuss anything without shouting ‘eat less, move more’, ask yourself why.

Head, meet brick wall.

I would imagine that it would be frustrating to have sex ,if one was badly overweight. I am just imagining this,as I have never been overweight. But would not fancy a man sex wise, if he was very very overweight, and was like a beluga whale humping about.

@ChipotleBlessing NO ONE who suggested weightloss was shouting anything unlike the other camp.

I would imagine that it would be frustrating to have sex ,if one was badly overweight

It can be. Very much so. It also depends on where your fat is stored. So someone with a big belly, but small butt will suffer different issues to someone with small belly but big butt. And then there si someone with big belly AND big butt me and than it's really frustrating and you do fall into a rut with same style every time. One of the big 3 reasons of why I am losing weight.

But would not fancy a man sex wise, if he was very very overweight, and was like a beluga whale humping about

Was that really necessary? Do you feel better now 🙄

Hey OP ..when I was at my very heaviest and I mean 20plus stone sex was so difficult.I suppose I was lucky to the point where I wasnt overly embarrassed by me so heres what worked for us,it might help you.I don;t know? Anyway we abandoned the actual act for a while other than doggy style but even then it was uncomfortable instead we did everything else. Lots of mutual stimulation with toys,mouths,etc..oh god sorry this is cringeworthy typing it but there is loads you can do which is pleasureable and fulfilling and comfortable and enjoyable.I would take the positions out you don;t like and try to explore other things. If penetration is important to you could you buy a vibrator which you or your partner could use? maybe worth a try for now.Be brave take a chance on something new ..you might like it and if you do it will spur on your confidence and how you feel about yourself.Best wishes sent

You don’t have to use capital letters to be shouting. If you answer on a thread that is a question directed at a group of people of which you are not part, you are taking up space which isn’t yours. You’re making it impossible for the thread to be the space the OP wanted. It’s the virtual equivalent of shouting. And it’s counter productive, because all evidence suggests that supportive social space is more likely to encourage people to lose weight that thin people shouting ‘move more’.

Only people shouting about "move more" are... Well you🤷🏻
Seriously, some posters should check their aggression and it's not the ones talking weight loss. It is not not ok to say weight loss is the solution to the issue, because it is the solution. It actually is.

When I was fat I had no problems in all sorts of positions, must depend how its distriputed on your body. My partners were also quite fit, 2 fat ppl is probably more of a struggle.

To all the fatphobics on here I really wish you pack on the weight after childbirth so you can see how it is! Serves you right. It is horrible, and mostly because of fatphobic assholes. Just because society has decided fat is ugly does not make it true! There are plenty of ugly slim people. And No it is not always unhealthy either! I was fat and fit. Just mind your own beeswax because you will never understand all the hate fat ppl are confronted with just for existing! Drug addicts and Alcoholics can hide their problems without every arsehole they meet giving them bullshit advice they dont need.

How on earth is suggesting weight loss, as a solution to a problem caused by being over weight, fat phobic? Some of the posters suggesting weight loss have also said that they are bigger themselves.

Im not sure what the "correct" answer is - "oh dear" maybe?

If someone started a thread to say they'd lost a few stone in a few months and found sex difficult and uncomfortable because of it then most responses would be about how and why she should try to put it back on.

As well as size though if someone is overeating a lot or eating a lot of bad food then they wouldn't have any energy or often even the motivation to want to have sex.

It’s obvious what the solution is. If you are physically able, the answer is to lose the excess weight. It’s very sad, and depressing, to put up with a subpar sex life when something can be done to change it.

No one is being mean, or nasty, or patronising even. It’s the uncomfortable truth that not everyone wants to hear.

Good luck OP. I hope you find the solution that works for you.