Too fat for sex

[lindsay2900]

Does anyone feel like this if you're over 18st? I was 16st in December, now 19st I find sex so difficult now being this size, feel fat and sometimes claustrophobic when on my back. When I was 16st, I was fine. Could easily move around.

@user1481840227 As well as size though if someone is overeating a lot or eating a lot of bad food then they wouldn't have any energy or often even the motivation to want to have sex.

Urm what are you on about!!

How about this:

I am really sorry you are now finding sex so difficult due to your size - 19st.

In answer to your question I don't find sex difficult at all. I'm not very overweight but I am a bit overweight.

There you go - all happy now!

You do realise that you aren't allowed to say this, it's the truth but you are not allowed to tell the truth on here:

"Osirus Sat 09-May-20 18:06:35
It’s obvious what the solution is. If you are physically able, the answer is to lose the excess weight."

Very naughty of you. You have to sugarcoat and deny that there might be a problem being overweight and NEVER suggest losing weight .... you and I have failed 🙄🤪 Then again the OP never came back. Just announced finding sex difficult due to her size then off.....

I got pregnant at just over 18st no issues here at all, my DH is smaller than me but still overweight.

I was losing weight anyway before I found out I was pregnant and I get pretty bad morning sickness so am now well under 17st and still losing pretty fast. Pregnancy is apparently the most efficient diet for me!

The question here isn’t about weight loss. It’s about sex. I’ve been vegetarian for many years. If I see someone asking for a chicken recipe I don’t go onto their thread to explain the multiple individual and collective benefits of a vegetarian diet. Because although that would be true, they’re asking for a chicken recipe, not a lifestyle review. If you can’t see this, ask yourself why not.

If I was op I wouldn't have come back either.

I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been, I wear size 26 clothes and I’m disabled. I’ve never had this much sex in my life, hth the fatty haters who are clearly repulsed

Op, previous posters have got it nailed. Take their advice and be forgiving to yourself.

If I see someone asking for a chicken recipe I don’t go onto their thread to explain the multiple individual and collective benefits of a vegetarian diet. Because although that would be true, they’re asking for a chicken recipe, not a lifestyle review. If you can’t see this, ask yourself why not.

🙄 You would say that if the question was "I am having digestive issues when eating chicken. Anyone else?" This is more similar question.

I’m having this exact problem but I’m so unhappy I keep putting weight on and I just don’t know what to do. I’m 6 foot tall so I don’t “look” fat per say, I have got very very wide shoulders so I look in proportion until I take my clothes off where the only part of my body that’s fat is my belly pouch.

I know this isn’t the point of this thread but does anyone have any effective ways to kick start weight loss? Sorry OP but it might be a good place for me to ask as it’s on topic. 😞

(I find sex perfectly doable, especially doggy or bent over sofa etc etc, it’s just my confidence making it impossible.)

I was going to go on antidepressants but apparently they just cause weight gain!!

I’m 5ft 7 and 19 stone. We have a very healthy sex life, the only thing I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing is going on top. I do want to lose weight desperately but struggling due to lock down.

I do think it's sad people feel so ashamed of their weight. People don't tend to accomplish things through negative motivation - most if us need positive motivation in the beginning followed by learned habits and skills (like food tracking) and discipline to take over when motivation inevitably isn't sustainable all by itself.

Hearing everyone including yourself gave a go, even if it is to say something like "weight loss is the simple/obvious solution" can be really demotivating, and it can be hard to comprehend that because the surface truth is that weight loss is simple, but psychologically it's complex.

@31weeksgone if it's more of a wobble, you should try firming up with weights (or using your own weight). People absolutely swear by it! I started Joe Wicks 15 minute full body workout and I can feel difference after 3 weeks.
Do take your anti depressants, you need them! I am now using Myfitnesspal (thank you MN) to watch what I eat. Try it. It's actually quite interesting to see what you eat and how you can make it bit healthier. Not just for weight, but general health. Good luck!

@OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow No, I wouldn’t. Because I’m not having digestive issues eating chicken, because I don’t eat chicken and haven’t for so long I can’t remember eating it. I have no relevant personal experience. Just like the ‘lost weight’ thin people.

I'm 5'4 and just under 19 stone... I haven't found a position I'm unable to do yet! Although doggy is my favourite and probably easiest.

I changed bed sheets without taking a break😁 Thanks Joe!😁 And I run up the stairs and didn't have to stop and breath😁

@Handsoffisback I think the point is though that isn't solicited advice. Vegetarians could argue the health benefits of a vegetarian lifestyle to a meat eater if they wanted to, but everyone would tell them to fuck off because hello, we are talking about recipes.

The OP's post is about making sex more comfortable in her current situation, not asking how she can change herself long term, she hasn't asked for any lifestyle advice at all. She might even just be asking for the motivation of hearing, yes sex was tough but I've lost weight and now it's not so difficult.

Even though the issues are completely interlinked it still doesn't mean the comments should automatically be about losing weight. As others have said, the OP knows weight loss is a long term solution, she really does not need to here it, however kindly/diplomatically/matter of factly, from 20 different posters. That doesn't make those posters incorrect, it just means their advice isn't necessary or wanted, and maybe people should ask why they can't distinguish an answer to a "fat people problem" that isn't just "lose weight".

The OP's post is about making sex more comfortable in her current situation, not asking how she can change herself long term, she hasn't asked for any lifestyle advice at all.

It can be either or both because OP didn't really say much except "anyone else". That obviously then make people answer either way. With short term, or long term solution. Both are here. Nothing wrong with it

Just seems very obvious since the OP said she was previous smaller that she knows sex would be better if she lost weight though?

So it's pretty clear to me that she is looking for advice/support for the size she is right now.

They could also be a weird sex troll who wants to hear about bigger womens experience with sex, who knows.

How do you know OP is a she?

Sex trolls are weird. I mean like, there is pornhub. It's free and much less hassle than starting accounts on MN😂