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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

385 replies

Ilovetea09 · 09/05/2020 09:24

Morning. I'm on day 54 of self isolation now. We are stuck in groundhog day and The kids are finding homeschool difficult and they miss their friends.
But we have been so lucky with the weather and to have a garden and are trying to make the best of it. We camped out there the other night which was great fun. Something we would never normally do. My husband is still working but when he's home I've noticed we've spent a lot more time together as a family which has been nice. Just doing simple things like playing outside, playing with toys.
We have been getting more exercise than we usually would which is a positive. We are eating less and spending less.

It has shown me how much I love travelling and going to the seaside /or on holiday. I really need something to look forward to it seems! And going on days out and the weekend, we really miss that.

But it's also shown me just how introverted I am, and my husband. My husband has always been antisocial, he had a few work friends /aqaintencies, but he's let them slip away and now has none. He says he's perfectly happy with this as hes never enjoyed friends!
Im similar in that I don't have a large group of friends. I have one best friend who I've not seen since February as she's living at a hospital with her sick baby for at least 6 months. My only other friends are school mums who I chat to at the gate. I aren't sad we haven't got friends but it has highlighted it to me when I see on social media people hosting quiz nights with friends and having group video chats etc.
Lockdown has also shown me how we aren't close to other family members and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. We all live locally to each other and we saw my parents and in laws every weekend before lockdown . But it was tedious and I don't have a good relationship with my narcissist father so the meetups were never fun anyway. I feel terrible saying this but to not see them has been quite freeing for me. My anxiety around my father has gone and I feel relaxed for the first time in years.
I don't know what our new normal will be going forward after lockdown but I do know that I want to change some things to live a happier and more fulfilling life than we were.
What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 09/05/2020 09:25

That I don’t do rules.
That I hate queues too.

SandysMam · 09/05/2020 09:30

That even though our house is smaller than our friends and our car is older and not a 4x4, I am pleased as despite losing one income, we can still pay our bills. It will be tight but having a secure roof over our heads and not worrying about having to hand the car back is such a relief right now.

lazylinguist · 09/05/2020 09:32

For me it's largely highlighted how fortunate we are - to live in a lovely rural area, to get on with each other so well in our family, to have dc who can get on with school work independently and easily, to be able to find ways of entertaining ourselves at home, to have a lovely dog and beautiful places to walk him, to have good mental health, to have jobs which won't be destroyed by the crisis (and which in dh's case keeps him on full pay without having to do much work). We are very very lucky, and it's important to recognise that when so many people are having such a hard time.

Maybelatte · 09/05/2020 09:34

How much I value my independence. I’m pregnant so I’m not allowed to even go food shopping right now, DH is having to go. I really miss walking into a shop, even if it’s just boring food shopping.

ginsparkles · 09/05/2020 09:35

We spend too much time outside our home. That our one day off together could be spent happily pottering at home. Oh and I weirdly actually enjoy organising our house .... wish I knew that earlier!

Hwyrynos · 09/05/2020 09:35

That I really needed a break.

Hwyrynos · 09/05/2020 09:36

And, that I really need to work on self care and my mental health. They need to become a priority.

Namechangex10000 · 09/05/2020 09:36

That my partner doesn’t love me and I don’t have a single friend! Thanks bozza

Lolimax · 09/05/2020 09:38

As I'm NHS and DH is frontline in many respects it's been 'eat, sleep, work, repeat'. But it has shown me what a strong bond and good relationship we have. And I miss my 2 DC's. One lives near so I've seen her at a distance the other stayed with his uni mates.

Makemedoit · 09/05/2020 09:38

That my life is very boring as it hasn't changed much during lockdown. I get up. I go to work. I work hard and long hours, n9 bank holidays off. I come home. I go to bed. Repeat. But I am lucky I have a job, my independence, my health.

nobodysdaughter · 09/05/2020 09:39

That I love swimming and the library. I also need outside stimulation to remain inspired/motivated as an artist - it is not just a case of time/organisation.

Jeezoh · 09/05/2020 09:40

That I waste so much money every month on frivolous crap that I don’t need

Rebelwithallthecause · 09/05/2020 09:40

I miss going into a shop too
But also like Sandy thankful of having a modest house and older car.
Have lovely friends but enjoying the peace and quiet and not having to prepare for visits or going anywhere
Missing day trips to the seaside for cinnamon donuts on the beach the most

attackedbycritters · 09/05/2020 09:40

That asthma and living in a town do not go well together
Dreading the rise in traffic

MogThoughtDarkThoughts · 09/05/2020 09:41

How nice it's been to have my DP around! Not just to help wrangle the kids, though that certainly is a huge bonus, but because it's been lovely just to hang out, have lunch all together etc. Not that we don't get on usually! But with a non-sleeping baby we've been in survival mode for nearly a year and I feel like we're just now reconnecting.

That I can bake really good bread with minimal effort, but that I shouldn't, because then I eat it all. Similarly, that I should not be allowed to work from home, because the fridge is there.

Also, that we are in the main very lucky with our circumstances and we should be more aware of this.

MissMarks · 09/05/2020 09:42

That I waste a lot of money every month on crap I don’t actually need, that I am lucky to live in the countryside and can go for nice walks, that I could quite happily be a house wife pottering about gardening and baking.

1wokeuplikethis · 09/05/2020 09:42

That I am absolutely an introvert and I while I enjoy seeing friends I find being with them immensely stressful and draining - I worry about what I say, what I look like, hate uncomfortable silences and worry people don’t like me.

Being in a bubble with my close family has been unbelievably relaxing. I’m much less strained by not replaying social interactions in my head for hours and days after. Which is a shame because I like people. I obviously need to change my way of thinking- definitely care less.

YouTheCat · 09/05/2020 09:43

It has shown me that my dp is never irritating and I love spending time with him.

It's also shown me that I really do not like people much at all.

Mynydd · 09/05/2020 09:44

That I am lucky. That I have so so much to be grateful for. A small house, a small garden, the people I love under my roof and food in the cupboards. Mountains on my doorstep. That actually moving at a slower pace is ok, and we are all resilient enough to find ways to occupy our bodies and mind. But most of all I am lucky to have good physical and mental health, me and my family. I am incredibly fortunate.

problembottom · 09/05/2020 09:44

I’ve always thought myself fairly antisocial but I’m really missing my newish mum friends, my older standing friends and my family. I’ve realised how much they enrich my life and how lucky I am to have them.

Coffeeandroses · 09/05/2020 09:45

Lockdown has high lighted and taught me how grateful I’ll be when the kids are able to go back school and nursery , tired and cranky is an understatement right about now.. 🤦‍♀️

Saharafordessert · 09/05/2020 09:45

That I can crochet! It’s been on my bucket list to learn for ages and I’ve feel like I’ve really achieved something!

LilyE1234 · 09/05/2020 09:46

How much I cannot wait to move out of London. I need some outdoor space and a place where people care about each other.

Mullikins · 09/05/2020 09:47

I've realised that I spend too much money on "stuff".

That there are more hours in the day than I thought and actually I was wasting a huge amount of time each day doing nothing.

That being together at home can be fun.

That my dh and I need to have more childfree together time once we regain some sense of normality again. I don't mean this in a "the kids are driving us mad" kind of way...more that we've neglected our relationship since having children and we need to focus on having quality time together both as a family but also as a couple.

Erm...I'm sure there is more but can't think of it at the moment.

Babdoc · 09/05/2020 09:51

I live alone and have been ill with Covid for the past 47 days. Hospitalised in the middle of it, now trying to recover.
I’ve realised how much I depend on outside activities for social contact, and how much I miss being able to see my adult DDs who live 50 miles away.
I’ve discovered I am a coward, and terrified of dying, while lying awake panicking trying to breathe for 13 nights alone before the ambulance arrived.
I realise how much I miss my church - online services don’t give the shared community feel of singing and praying together in a beautiful village church.
And I’ve discovered how incredibly kind and helpful my fellow villagers and churchgoers are - cooking meals for me, shopping, driving me home from hospital, keeping my spirits up.
It’s been a big learning curve, this lockdown!