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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

385 replies

Ilovetea09 · 09/05/2020 09:24

Morning. I'm on day 54 of self isolation now. We are stuck in groundhog day and The kids are finding homeschool difficult and they miss their friends.
But we have been so lucky with the weather and to have a garden and are trying to make the best of it. We camped out there the other night which was great fun. Something we would never normally do. My husband is still working but when he's home I've noticed we've spent a lot more time together as a family which has been nice. Just doing simple things like playing outside, playing with toys.
We have been getting more exercise than we usually would which is a positive. We are eating less and spending less.

It has shown me how much I love travelling and going to the seaside /or on holiday. I really need something to look forward to it seems! And going on days out and the weekend, we really miss that.

But it's also shown me just how introverted I am, and my husband. My husband has always been antisocial, he had a few work friends /aqaintencies, but he's let them slip away and now has none. He says he's perfectly happy with this as hes never enjoyed friends!
Im similar in that I don't have a large group of friends. I have one best friend who I've not seen since February as she's living at a hospital with her sick baby for at least 6 months. My only other friends are school mums who I chat to at the gate. I aren't sad we haven't got friends but it has highlighted it to me when I see on social media people hosting quiz nights with friends and having group video chats etc.
Lockdown has also shown me how we aren't close to other family members and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. We all live locally to each other and we saw my parents and in laws every weekend before lockdown . But it was tedious and I don't have a good relationship with my narcissist father so the meetups were never fun anyway. I feel terrible saying this but to not see them has been quite freeing for me. My anxiety around my father has gone and I feel relaxed for the first time in years.
I don't know what our new normal will be going forward after lockdown but I do know that I want to change some things to live a happier and more fulfilling life than we were.
What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

OP posts:
Redwinestillfine · 09/05/2020 11:24

How much I miss just pottering around the village, that my DH is actually quite good in a crisis, that stopping the treadmill has allowed my kids time to develop their own interests, that I really hope the world changes after this and improves.

Biscuit0110 · 09/05/2020 11:25

It has shown me who my real friends are (this is mostly good, but not exclusively)

It has highlighted how much I need to move around, see other people, freedom and experiences mean everything to me. I need to do much more of this when the lockdown has ended.

It has shown that my husband is much more introverted than me, and whilst he enjoys lockdown immensely, I can't stand it. Thats quite hard.

I don't need takeaways or dinners out to have a fun evening.

I live in a gorgeous village with many lovely people

I have amazing kids with great personalities.

peoplewhoannoyyou · 09/05/2020 11:26

How fragile our society is. It could be wiped out very quickly. See how quickly our supermarkets run dry even with a working supply chain - imagine what would happen if the supply was properly disrupted.

How we worry too much about things that are irrelevant, or we can't do much about. Brexit, climate change, minorities being shot in America, third world poverty, YAWN. When things get back to usual, let's hope people live for the moment rather than worry about things that happen to other people far away, or are a problem for the future to deal with.

How polarising wealth is. Smug cunts sit smuggishly in their large houses with spacious gardens, sneering at those sat in small flats with no outside space, worrying about their jobs and finances.

Biscuit0110 · 09/05/2020 11:27

Oh and I am going to start putting my life up there with the important matters, I have realised I put everyone before myself, always. My life feels secondary to those around me. For sure that is going to change.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 09/05/2020 11:29

How much I miss having something, anything, to look forward to!

How I wish I had let my hair go grey naturally - now I am stuck with a two-inch wide badger stripe and am running out of ways to hide it.

How beautiful the trees and blossom are in spring, and how I didn't really notice when I went out every day. Now I go out once a week, if that, and the beauty almost makes me cry.

LuminousAmber · 09/05/2020 11:29

That I’m absolutely fine seeing no one but dh and the dc (and DH feels the same).

We’ve talked about an extended holiday/travelling with the dc in a couple of years - taking a Camper around Europe for 6-12 weeks. We’ve wondered idly before how we’d do with no one but us for that long and if we’d drive each other nuts.

This has shown that we’d probably be ok with it!

HarrietTheShy · 09/05/2020 11:31

How much I need exercise to feel good, both physically and mentally.

I'm stealing from a previous poster - that I also need a beach house!!

SpiritEssence · 09/05/2020 11:31

That I hate working in retail and will be changing jobs asap. Getting abused daily by rude customers who cannot follow simple rules

Polkadotties · 09/05/2020 11:32

That I love working from home. At work everyone knows everyone else’s business and some people think they are your friend. I’m glad to have broken these ties.

ChilliCheese123 · 09/05/2020 11:32

That my parents are actually really helpful and genuinely enjoy spending time with us

Have had 2 driveway chats with them when dropping food off and my mum and dad are just like so pleased to see us. Just to speak to us.

That I actually miss watching sports

That I can chat shit at DP for hours and he patiently nods - what a good egg lol.

Desiringonlychild · 09/05/2020 11:32

How grateful I am to be in London with so many food shops within walking distance. Including kosher shops!

How important it is to have a year's expenses saved up. Definitely not having more than 1 child as I don't want to risk not having to save.

Biscuit0110 · 09/05/2020 11:33

CMOT I am so sorry to read your message. That is completely shit. I would never speak to those people again (unless they have had a similar experience of course) There is no words for that kind of behaviour.

ChilliCheese123 · 09/05/2020 11:35

Oh and also how much I DON’T enjoy letting my hair go au naturel . Even in lockdown I’ve been taking the time to blow dry and straighten it with nice serums and straightening cream. It makes me feel SO much better. When I leave it wild it genuinely makes me feel like a scruff bag. I don’t know what that says about me as a person Hmm

Silentplikebath · 09/05/2020 11:35

I’ve realised that my neighbours are lovely. They’ve offered to do shopping by text message every few days while I’m shielding, even though they are busy key workers.

MarshaBradyo · 09/05/2020 11:36

That I order too much stuff and I really care about my garden / plants. That my teen Ds needs to see his friends in rl and benefits from school.

That dd is happier not doing two mornings nursery a week and I was starting to dread dropping her off since she really need to go (just for a break).

Dh would say wfh is ok but he prefers socialisation of work.

Middle dc that he can happily play with toddler dd all day.

Willowmartha1 · 09/05/2020 11:38

That I'm envious of those with loads of friends and family who they can't wait to see after lockdown, me and my dd are pretty isolated anyway so this has highlighted not even more for me.

MarshaBradyo · 09/05/2020 11:40

(Didn’t really need to go to nursery that is).

Also how blunt the tool has to be to get us to alter behaviour from polluting etc. Shows how hard it is to see change.

And how much I appreciate seeing friends even if by zoom really picks me up mentally.

happyhuman123 · 09/05/2020 11:40

that I'm patient, self sufficient and happier in my own company than I realised.

Sodamncold · 09/05/2020 11:40

How much I love love love my home
How lucky I am to live where I live (beautiful SE town surrounded by woods and parks)

That I am so much more of a positive and happier person than the vast majority of mumsnetters

That I absolutely love online work outs

That after five years of practise, I’m actually really good at yoga.

That I’m not good at maths. As in, really really awful at maths.

Stronger76 · 09/05/2020 11:42

That I'm a people person - I miss interaction; the simplest eye contact, smiles across the office, friendly hands on elbows, sitting close to folk in meetings, I'm touch-deprived

That I want my retirement to be different to my mum's - she's a loner and isn't finding any difference to her life at the moment (apart from the freedom to go to the shops, another thread), whereas my stepmum is always out socialising with folk.

That I'm glad I've been a saver-upper rather than having things on credit. All my possessions are mine and staying put, unlike friends who are looking likely to be losing their car.

That I need to leave my work in the office and leave on time. Whilst I appreciate I'm lucky to be able to WFH, I'm struggling with work being in my house. Likewise when we go back I'm going to push to leave on time.

My MH is fragile. I've struggled on and off with it for years but have always managed to get on top of it with various solutions - the uncertainty of our world right now is really affecting me and I'm heading to the GP on Monday. I WILL be telling work as they're all over 'supporting us through it' but I've had no contact other than absolutely work-related since we left in March.

Sodamncold · 09/05/2020 11:42

Oh and how blessed I to have two happy and healthy children.

I really feel for only children on this scenario.

Yankathebear · 09/05/2020 11:43

That I’m really lucky. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it. It’s not about material things, I don’t have a massive house and lavish holidays abroad. I’m content.

That I love my dh. Really love him.

That I waste money despite thinking that I’m quite frugal.

indecisivewoman81 · 09/05/2020 11:47

That being at home as a family is really lovely; enjoyable and quite relaxing. That my husband and I are a good team. We are lucky enough to have a garden and a beautiful big woods right behind our house: we never appreciated them before but now we walk through them every day, ride our bikes and enjoy the simple things.

I have been feeling for a while before lockdown that our family was too materialistic always buying the next thing, always wanting to fill some hole inside ourselves. This has gone now.

BPSCSS · 09/05/2020 11:47

My abusive (hopefully soon to be ex) husband attacked me a week into lockdown. Lockdown gave me the space to heal, press charges and finally get rid of the B...…….D. Work wise lockdown has been great, my work is closely related to it and its been fascinating.

So although it sounds a sad story, it's not, I had much needed space and time to make the best decision of my life!

Devlesko · 09/05/2020 11:48

That we need to downsize, and spend the money on a better vardo.
That bricks n mortar still suffocate me if I'm there too long.
That once we're allowed to travel any distance, we're off on our travels for at least 6 months.