What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

[Ilovetea09]

Morning. I'm on day 54 of self isolation now. We are stuck in groundhog day and The kids are finding homeschool difficult and they miss their friends.
But we have been so lucky with the weather and to have a garden and are trying to make the best of it. We camped out there the other night which was great fun. Something we would never normally do. My husband is still working but when he's home I've noticed we've spent a lot more time together as a family which has been nice. Just doing simple things like playing outside, playing with toys.
We have been getting more exercise than we usually would which is a positive. We are eating less and spending less.

It has shown me how much I love travelling and going to the seaside /or on holiday. I really need something to look forward to it seems! And going on days out and the weekend, we really miss that.

But it's also shown me just how introverted I am, and my husband. My husband has always been antisocial, he had a few work friends /aqaintencies, but he's let them slip away and now has none. He says he's perfectly happy with this as hes never enjoyed friends!
Im similar in that I don't have a large group of friends. I have one best friend who I've not seen since February as she's living at a hospital with her sick baby for at least 6 months. My only other friends are school mums who I chat to at the gate. I aren't sad we haven't got friends but it has highlighted it to me when I see on social media people hosting quiz nights with friends and having group video chats etc.
Lockdown has also shown me how we aren't close to other family members and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. We all live locally to each other and we saw my parents and in laws every weekend before lockdown . But it was tedious and I don't have a good relationship with my narcissist father so the meetups were never fun anyway. I feel terrible saying this but to not see them has been quite freeing for me. My anxiety around my father has gone and I feel relaxed for the first time in years.
I don't know what our new normal will be going forward after lockdown but I do know that I want to change some things to live a happier and more fulfilling life than we were.
What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

I was visiting my mum for hours at a time every fucking day in her rest home
It’s been immensely freeing to not have to go..I don’t even like her as a person because she was a dreadful mother to me ,.i just got sucked in to going every day ..but she’s managed with out me for weeks now ,so I don’t intend to go back to visits every day .

That our lives were just too busy. We always seemed to be rushing around to go see people or there were family parties or something! We ate out too much. My DH is an extrovert with a big social life so he would be out whenever someone invited him.

As nice as it was to go round to our families and have a hand with my two young DC, I have found myself able to manage on my own or with DH. I think you get more resilient when you have to.

I also feel incredibly lucky for the roof over our head, the space for the DC to move around in, our jobs and most importantly our health.

how much i love living in the countryside and how much we love spending time in our garden.

how important excersize is to me and how despite everything if something is important to me i will do it. I've worked out 2 hours a day everyday, which i would have struggled without (adhd)

how easy my kids are to parent and how much i enjoy their company, ive loved spending time with them (albeit they still go to school as i am front line key worker)

how much i prefer to stay in that go "out out" but how much i miss my friends and team mates (competitive martial arts)

how much i don't really care if i don't see my parents much, talking on the phone is just as good.

How well retirement is going to suit me!

That I made the right decision to stay working in the public sector (DH too) We both work in the MOD and can work full time from home so no financial worries. Pleasure in the small things like walks and puzzles. I’ve enjoyed catching up with friends via phone/FB video call rather than constantly thinking ‘must do that tomorrow’ Also realised how much food we waste and how much junk we’ve accumulated over the years 😆

That i really really love travel and need something to look forward to.
I'm so miserable at the moment and my daughter is really upset the holiday in May got cancelled, feels like there is nothing good coming

It's made me feel lonelier than ever. Feeling so isolated with nobody to talk to.

Marriage dead in the water, teenagers doing their own thing, no friends, and my family don't seem to be missing us!

I knew all of the above already, but chose to ignore it. This has highlighted everything.
I need to make some changes.

That I love being an introvert and just pottering about the house.
But also that I love the buzz of a city centre and long for the day when I can hop on a train and go to Manchester, our nearest city. And walk about among people.

That I’m a lot muckier than I thought. I’ve been doing loads of spring cleaning and have been shocked by how dirty backs of cupboards, behind furniture etc were. I intend to clean more regularly beyond what I can see, even when I have less time on my hands.
It has also highlighted that I have more grey hair than I thought.

That I can't be arsed with mindless rules

That I cant be arsed with people who like mindless rules.

That I can't be arsed with overly positive people.

That I love my normal life and can't fucking wait to get it back.

Timeforawine - same I am sinking without my usual social life and no holidays to look forward to. I am constantly angry but with no one to blame and without my usual sporting outlet I'm turning into a monster.

I spend my days trying to find ways to distract myself from reality and may be becoming boarder line alcoholic 😕

I have found out I live in a beautiful area with loads of green spaces and country walks. I can't believe that -despite having lived here almost a year - I've never bothered walking round the area before because I've "not had time"

I've also realised how much money I waste on shit. And when this is over I won’t be spending the weekend in crowded stressful places, wandering aimlessly round shopping centres buying stuff for the sake of it
I won’t be treating my kids every five mins to shit that they don’t need just because I can

I won’t be Running myself into the ground all week with work and childcare, then at the weekend STILL rushing about. despite being exhausted. Just because I feel pressure every moment to be busy “doing stuff” “Mustn’t waste the day” etc

I’ll be seeing friends and family whereas I didn't prioritise them before. I’ll be sitting in my garden reading. I’ll be cooking. I’ll be walking round parks and beautiful places. it will be more or less free and it will actually be worthwhile

I have also noticed that I care less about what I look like and haven't worn make up since before "lockdown" also my Botox top up is over due and I couldn't care less. I am 40 and I look it, so what

That I allow other people to put a lot of pressure on me.

I am loving not having to rush around at the weekend, to evening clubs with the kids, etc. To accommodate my MIL visits that we accidentally fell into the routine of.

MIL came to our house every Sunday morning for years. Never actually interacted with the kids, & just whinged about everything. I found the whole thing annoying & intrusive. Since lockdown, she hasn’t phoned to talk to the kids or her son. Not once.

I hope those visits don’t start up again!

I like lockdown
I like my normal life
But I need to change my job as I'm dreading going back (not because of health fears, but because I need to move on)

That it really is crap being a single mum without access to any support systems. That I miss my office and adult chat. That although I love my wee flat it’s much harder to not have outdoor space when locked up in your house for days on end. That I’m lucky to be in the job that I’m in, but other than that, there are no silver linings or wonderful lessons learned from lockdown.

That I am very fortunate to be retired on a reasonable (but not huge) public sector pension. That my DH and I (also recently retired) can give each other enough physical and mental room not to kill each other. That I live in a beautiful place with lots of accessible green space. That I really really miss not having a holiday to look forward to.

That I need to get out and about for my mental health to remain positive. Having been at home for such a long time I cannot wait to get out and about.
I miss social gatherings - I love social gatherings. I don't do 'alone'
I miss concerts. Live music.
I miss travelling to other countries and sightseeing.

When things are back again I intend to fly to all the countries that are on my bucket list and see allt he sights I want to see

That we’re lucky to live in a lovely village with lots of walks on our doorstep, but we do need our own private enclosed garden.

How priveledgedwe are. Even though I am on furlough and not on full pay and oh on pip. We can afford our bils, I have no mortgage. We have parks we can go to, shops kids can walk to. A garden I can have BBQ in.

Shown me that I do hate my job and given me a push to retrain.

Shown that alot of people around me are selfish and don't think of others.

That I waste my money on things I don't need eg eating out alot and buying lunches. I've saved so much money.

That I'm an introvert and feel very calm being in my home although I am beginning to get bored now.

That I'd expended emotional energy on people that don't give a crap about me. I don't even rank high enough on anyones radar to get a text, card or call after losing both parents in a month, so I'm reevaluating my life as someone who is always willing to help out.
Otherwise, that I hate organised appreciation like clap for carers

That the reason I looked ten years older than my age and felt ill all the time was because life was too stressful and busy for a long period of time

That I don't really want to live in London any more.

That I need to reorganise my life so my family can be happier

That I shouldn't feel bad about potential new hobbies being home based eg yoga, baking and gardening.

That I'm content with very little, though I do miss coffee shops and garden centres

That where we live is a really nice place on the whole, with generally good people.
That I hate and loathe teaching via Zoom and I miss my normal job dreadfully.
That DS is quite happy to watch YouTube all day unless stopped.
That I love hearing birds all day.

My life has changed little in lockdown. I’ve realised how quiet my life is, I’m ok with that. But it has highlighted how abnormal I am in that, as I feel like I shouldn’t be ok with this being how my life is.