What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

[Ilovetea09]

Morning. I'm on day 54 of self isolation now. We are stuck in groundhog day and The kids are finding homeschool difficult and they miss their friends.
But we have been so lucky with the weather and to have a garden and are trying to make the best of it. We camped out there the other night which was great fun. Something we would never normally do. My husband is still working but when he's home I've noticed we've spent a lot more time together as a family which has been nice. Just doing simple things like playing outside, playing with toys.
We have been getting more exercise than we usually would which is a positive. We are eating less and spending less.

It has shown me how much I love travelling and going to the seaside /or on holiday. I really need something to look forward to it seems! And going on days out and the weekend, we really miss that.

But it's also shown me just how introverted I am, and my husband. My husband has always been antisocial, he had a few work friends /aqaintencies, but he's let them slip away and now has none. He says he's perfectly happy with this as hes never enjoyed friends!
Im similar in that I don't have a large group of friends. I have one best friend who I've not seen since February as she's living at a hospital with her sick baby for at least 6 months. My only other friends are school mums who I chat to at the gate. I aren't sad we haven't got friends but it has highlighted it to me when I see on social media people hosting quiz nights with friends and having group video chats etc.
Lockdown has also shown me how we aren't close to other family members and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. We all live locally to each other and we saw my parents and in laws every weekend before lockdown . But it was tedious and I don't have a good relationship with my narcissist father so the meetups were never fun anyway. I feel terrible saying this but to not see them has been quite freeing for me. My anxiety around my father has gone and I feel relaxed for the first time in years.
I don't know what our new normal will be going forward after lockdown but I do know that I want to change some things to live a happier and more fulfilling life than we were.
What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

Wow so many responses. I have just spent the morning reading them all! For those of you struggling I send you love and best wishes. Let's hope normality returns soon and we can all enjoy the rest of our lives appreciating everything we have

Itsall pointless,true.I have made good friends at my group,and in touch with two particularly, they both have grown up kids in London,but are both divorced,we do have whats app groups.We dont live that far apart so when real summer arrives,we will probably do a social distance meet up. I know even with family somewhere they both struggling with this.Im worse because i have little family,and yes like you i have been disappointed in some friends.One friend of many years dumped me at start lockdown s because i think,i had no warning shes a strong Brexiter and im a strong Remainer and on FB i said with all this anyone who voted for Brexit and Johnson shouldnt have,i cant think of any other reason,and another long term friend said it was my fault as i was always too outspoken anyway and i shouldnt inflict my views on others. Obviously isnt a free country anymore,These people are old friends or were,not connected with current friends or city i now live in,but it was upsetting after so many years,Still our views so different probably better,

I cant say apart from 2 friends from group ive mentioned, and about 3 others ive not been over impressed with friends support in all this.As you say people with partners and or happy clappy families living togetger,dont all appreciate how it is for us who dont.They say you should be grateful,you are not ill,well yes i know that but just to actually not in sit in at night having to watch crap TV and dining alone would be nice,im fine living alone when i can go out,and it isnt just not going out at night is it,you cant pop in city and mooch round shops,have your nails done,my beautician is a friend to,she works from home,love seeing her little girl when i go round,miss that,sit my friends dog,im retired gives me a purpose but with all that gone you feel living alone is the pits.i walk in city to M&S and other day got bus back,normally walk as hadnt for weeks,i thought sod it,i actually enjoyed it was normallol.talked at social distance to a girl who said she lives alone and is glad working,i said wish i was.Only us in same position understand.

I waste so much money on things like convenience foods and coffees. I’ve saved a fortune. Also that my kids can just get on with things much better if I stay out of it. They don’t need constant hobbies to keep them entertained and they actually play really nice together when I’m not there for them to fight over.

@Iwalkinmyclothing sorry to hear that, I hope you'll be able to work it out

There are some very sad posts on here. Hope those people are able to maybe start their own threads to get some support?

This is magnifying existing problems, for some people... as well as good things for others... not an easy situation, is it?

I wish the best to everyone

@Itsallpointless thank you ; I hope when all this is over you make the lovely and kind friends you so very much deserve.

My fiance and I still have lots to talk about and still ask each other about our days even when we bump into each other in the kitchen We still have a few stir crazy minor squabbles here and there but overall this hasn't been so bad for us.

Being a huge introvert I can't say I'm missing out on interacting with other people, though. Any of my friendships were seemingly one sided as none of them were there for me when my parents died. I've cut down on social media but I've not missed it at all. I'm pretty much invisible to everyone - this suits me sometimes but not all the time such as on my recent birthday where I only got one text. I am isolated as I'm not a local and my family are dead bar one brother who has his own issues. Again, if I don't contact him I don't hear from him.

Our flat isn't much cop for WFH as space is limited and I do often feel a bit overwhelmed in it. Moving's out of the question for now for obvious reasons, though, but longer term I want out of this town altogether.

How glad I am we moved to the countryside 2 years ago and have a big garden. It's been a godsend being able to get outside in the garden whenever we like. I'm also so grateful I'm not working so I can just concentrate on doing some home-schooling without juggling a job. I'd never cope with both.

I do realise how much I miss just being able to go to my parents' house for coffee though. My kid is missing his cousins, who we usually see most weekends.

It's hard for my kid being an only child through all this, no kids to play with. We have a dog but not quite the same.

That I don't really miss people. I am quite happy being at home and not going out. I always knew I was introverted and antisocial but I hadn't realised how drained I was by socialising.

That I have a great husband. It has been lovely having more time together. He is no longer exhausted all the time and has been enjoying cooking more with me and gardening

It has made me realise that we both like the slower pace of life and will be taking steps to move out of the town and somewhere more rural.

That I don't have a good enough relationship with my boss to work remotely long-term; I feel pretty isolated from my department and I don't have a clear steer on what I should be doing.

That much as I wish I could enjoy the slower pace of life, I really miss going out and being busy. I like having stuff to do! I miss galleries, museums, libraries, cafés. Just pottering around the house leaves me feeling restless and unsatisfied.

That my daughter needs a sibling.

That I do have a fantastic boss, that I can wfh long term.

That I am so lucky that my dc genuinely love each other

That we do t have to occupy their lives with frivolous crap.

That I can do my job really well without expelling 100 hrs of fossil fuel a month !!

That surely has to be the big thing. ?

Not to watch too much telly
Enjoying quality time with the kids - baking, planting seeds etc
Get out snd exercise

@Iwalkinmyclothing Thank you very much for your kind comment. I do wish you the very best

@spikyplants Bless you, you've had a tough time, sorry for your losses

I think actually how slow I am to really react to things?! We're just coming into week 10 (not UK) and I'm only now starting to feel antsy and trapped. Up until now it's felt fine. Like a slight novelty!

I've found out that I can make some pretty decent fudge... not great for my weight loss, but soooo delicious.

Working from home is very stressful as I feel less able than ever to switch off.

Lockdown has also shown me afresh that Mr Twiglets really doesn't seem to care or think about me very much. Not because he's mean, but just because of the kind of person he is.

His ex-wife has just been diagnosed with Asperger's, and now I'm wondering if he is further along the spectrum than most, as well.

At a bit of a loss to know what to do about it all, to be honest.

That I'm not very good at following rules. That I love my job and it's a huge part of my life. That my friends are so important to me and I'm beyond lucky to have so many.

That I was right never to get a full time job working from home with no face to face contact and support, and that it would eventually break me.

Cranky totally agree. I used to romanticise working from home, imagined it would be heaven. No commute, no office politics, always home for deliveries, cooking amazing meals and hanging out the washing while firing off emails.

In reality everything takes twice as long, it’s bloody lonely and much more stressful. I realise how much I rely on colleagues to talk things through With. Sure you can do that on the phone but it’s not the same.

Yep, exactly that, Itwasntme1. Some people were built for this and some weren't.

That it is similar to quarantine.

And we need more money to do all the 'fun stuff' everyone else is missing.

I miss swimming and my friends and going away for weekends!
That my kids and I are extroverts and DH is not and has never been happier!

That I'm actually ok alone, all I need is a cat to be happy. I love the empty roads (I've been out everyday as I'm district NHS), the way nature is healing itself so quickly.
The pace of life has slowed right down to how it was back in the 50's when I was a child.
There are too many of us and our priorities are all wrong.

I've realised that left to my own devices, I wouldn't even think to contact anyone outside of my immediate family to chat, meet up, etc.
But that actually I thrive off the incidental meetings with friends and coworkers, and just simple chats with people helps me feel more balanced and stops me from living in my own head so much.
That gardening is so beneficial for my well-being.
That we really must get on and finish renovating the house, as it's half done and we are dreading the noise, cost and disruption but we know it'll be worth it.
That my DD is a truly remarkable little girl who is a delight to be with. My DH is a good bloke but we need time away from each other now and then.
That spending so much time away from others helps you see who your true friends are, and who you don't probably need in your life.
It's also taught me how to recognise truly inspiring leadership... and what being disappointed by a leader looks like too.