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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

385 replies

Ilovetea09 · 09/05/2020 09:24

Morning. I'm on day 54 of self isolation now. We are stuck in groundhog day and The kids are finding homeschool difficult and they miss their friends.
But we have been so lucky with the weather and to have a garden and are trying to make the best of it. We camped out there the other night which was great fun. Something we would never normally do. My husband is still working but when he's home I've noticed we've spent a lot more time together as a family which has been nice. Just doing simple things like playing outside, playing with toys.
We have been getting more exercise than we usually would which is a positive. We are eating less and spending less.

It has shown me how much I love travelling and going to the seaside /or on holiday. I really need something to look forward to it seems! And going on days out and the weekend, we really miss that.

But it's also shown me just how introverted I am, and my husband. My husband has always been antisocial, he had a few work friends /aqaintencies, but he's let them slip away and now has none. He says he's perfectly happy with this as hes never enjoyed friends!
Im similar in that I don't have a large group of friends. I have one best friend who I've not seen since February as she's living at a hospital with her sick baby for at least 6 months. My only other friends are school mums who I chat to at the gate. I aren't sad we haven't got friends but it has highlighted it to me when I see on social media people hosting quiz nights with friends and having group video chats etc.
Lockdown has also shown me how we aren't close to other family members and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. We all live locally to each other and we saw my parents and in laws every weekend before lockdown . But it was tedious and I don't have a good relationship with my narcissist father so the meetups were never fun anyway. I feel terrible saying this but to not see them has been quite freeing for me. My anxiety around my father has gone and I feel relaxed for the first time in years.
I don't know what our new normal will be going forward after lockdown but I do know that I want to change some things to live a happier and more fulfilling life than we were.
What has lockdown highlighted to you about your life?

OP posts:
bengalcat · 09/05/2020 10:56

I’m still working but the commute in lockdown and indeed work is less crowded and stressful . I’ll relish it while I can for it won’t last .

fascinated · 09/05/2020 10:56

That I need tea and online newspapers to survive

Nottherealslimshady · 09/05/2020 10:57

That I hate work. And that normally I'm constantly anxious about people standing close or touching me, I'm enjoying other people taking note of personal space for a change.

Witchend · 09/05/2020 10:57

That I was right not to work full time, and especially when the children were smaller.
That swapping me and dh over as at home parent would never have worked. Grin

I normally work 20 hours a week over 4 days. Dh normally works a full time job in an office.

I am now out 8am-6pm 5 days a week because my job has evolved. Dh is wfh.

The house is totally messy. Dh finds concepts like washing the bed sheets alien and has to be reminded because I've always been home to do it. He normally loves cooking but is now getting bored of cooking 5 days a week.
What's really funny though, is if he did the shopping (which he is happy to do) when I was home, I used to find it frustrating how many complicated meals he bought for me to cook. So we might have a lasagne, a casserole, chops etc. All things that take time to cook, and with 3 dc with activities most nights, really difficult to fit in.
Now he's going more and more to the quick meals that are shove in the oven and you can ignore while cooking, and there aren't the children's activities to fit it round. Grin

I do find that I am missing the children. By the time I'm home I'm tired, and there isn't much time before bedtime. So it's totally shown me how much I would have missed out on.

And I'm going to have so much holiday left I think I can probably take most of 2021 off Grin
I'm going to tell my line manager that next time we meet. Grin

MargotB7 · 09/05/2020 10:58

I've realised how much I hate busy places now I'm older. I'm going to be so anxious when the shops stop social distancing.

Nacreous · 09/05/2020 10:59

@AllWashedOut I think that's not an unfair assessment. I feel a strong sense of duty to contribute to the society I want to live in and I have a tendancy to do that at the expense of my own wellbeing. I will be making some changes in my life when this is over, as spending a few weekends in the garden reading a book is really doing me good.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 09/05/2020 10:59

That I value my alone time which I'm not getting at all

MargotB7 · 09/05/2020 11:00

I'm enjoying other people taking note of personal space for a change.

This.

Wehttam · 09/05/2020 11:01

That time is the greatest luxury.

I was already socially distant precovid, no real change to my life lol

City living is incredible.....without hoards people

Pollution is truly evil, the sky is very blue

My DP is a gift

I enjoy walking every evening

I wouldn’t need a cleaner if I didn’t work full time

ILiveInSalemsLot · 09/05/2020 11:01

That I waste too much time on my phone and it makes me unhappy.
I’m much happier if I achieve things during the day. Going out with the dcs over the weekends was an achievement too and I need to replace that with other ‘achievements’

Knocksomesense · 09/05/2020 11:02

I've learned that less truly can be more. Dh is beginning to open up, my eldest child is less anxious. The children are beginning to amuse themselves more. We don't need people, places or things to enjoy our lives.

I also find it interesting from a psychology point of view that some people say this is not living and only existing.

Bluewavescrashing · 09/05/2020 11:04

I really love my house and garden, especially since I've had time to declutter and redecorate.

Just going for a walk can be as enjoyable as going to the play park, walking to the pub for a pretty expensive mediocre lunch, or going out in the car to play centres etc. We have woods, fields and a nature reserve in walking distance of our house so we are very lucky.

ballsdeep · 09/05/2020 11:05

That I love being at home with my family. We don't need to take them out every weekend, it's spending time together that's important.

I can.cook from scratch and w sack of potatoes can be very versatile!

speakout · 09/05/2020 11:05

I think the biggest lesson has been the need to be comfortable with uncertainty in our lives.
Something I have been working on for the past while anyway, but even more so now.
I don't know whether OH will have a job at the end of this, what situation we may be in.
But I am actually OK with that!

Giggorata · 09/05/2020 11:10

How stressful my job is and how ready I am to retire and live life at a slower, more contemplative pace, that suits my introvert character.
How lucky I am to live in the country, in a house where I’m comfortable, with a garden and nice walks, farm shops, bird song, etc.
I'm glad I hung on to all of my books.
How lucky I am not to be in want.
What a brilliant thing is Zoom, Skype, etc, so that I can chat to my loved ones, both far away and locked down.
That the internet is full of amazing stuff, if you're choosy.
That prepping is a sensible way of life, in good or uncertain times.
That DH isn't a bad old soul, really.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 09/05/2020 11:13

It's taught me that I will do anything to avoid having to queue at the supermarket - luckily, I've been lucky with deliveries.
It's also taught me that I need to breaks and holidays we book regularly. They're my thing i look forward to most - we try to get a couple of days away every month and then a 5-day break at least 3 times a year. They're never very expensive, but they are very much enjoyed. I feel like I've got nothing to look forward to at the moment because these were things we'd get excited about every month. It sucks so much.

I know it's for the greater good, but, I really really miss my planned breaks! I sound so selfish!

BearSoFair · 09/05/2020 11:14

That I was shit at keeping in touch with people! I've reconnected with so many friends through messenger/WhatsApp and I definitely want to maintain that going forwards.

Also that I was buying a lot more things impulsively than I realised. We're saving a lot and don't feel like we're missing anything so I hope I can carry that on and take a moment to think 'do I/we need this?' before buying.

wildcherries · 09/05/2020 11:14

I'm so sorry for your losses, CMOTDibbler - and for your friends not giving a crap. I'd be re-evaluating, too.

Qgardens · 09/05/2020 11:15

That I don't miss as much as I thought I would. That I am more adaptable than I thought.

That FaceTime and technology make lockdown so much easier than it would have been several years ago. I've been in more contact with some friends than I usually am.

That I really appreciate my mum and dad and my sister and her family and seeing them is what I miss most, despite seeing them briefly when dropping off food supplies to each other, to minimise supermarket visits occasionally.

That health anxiety is an issue in this house.

Purplegorilla · 09/05/2020 11:16

That even with nowhere to go my oh will still find other things to do rather than just be with me.
That I dont miss seeing anyone at all, family friends,I love them dearly but dont need to see them as much as I thought.
That I have serious case of FOMO usually and now that everyone else is home, I'd rather be home too. Whereas every day off id be thinking where should I go, what should I do even if I didnt want to go out, i felt like I HAD to.

Thurmanmurman · 09/05/2020 11:16

That the reason my house isn't usually immaculate is not due to lack of time (which I have in abundance at the moment), it's because I can't be arsed!

notalwaysalondoner · 09/05/2020 11:17

How much I hate commuting
How much I dislike London
How much I love the countryside
How much I like spending time with family

We’re staying with my parents for lockdown in the cotswolds and to be honest I’m happier than I’ve been for a long time. Now just need to persuade DH to move out of London ASAP as our first baby is due in December.

midsomermurderess · 09/05/2020 11:20

EvilPea, I relate very much to what you say.

BearSoFair · 09/05/2020 11:21

Oh actually, the biggest of all...that 18yo DS1 is growing into a really lovely, thoughtful person. He's hardly complained at all despite not seeing his girlfriend since March, has helped DD and DS2 with school work, and cooks dinner twice a week! Very proud of him, even though he's embarrassed if I say it out loud.

gingersausage · 09/05/2020 11:23

@CMOTDibbler I don’t know you, but I’m truly sorry for your terrible loss and the shit behaviour of your acquaintances. I know a crappy bunch of virtual flowers won’t help, but the thought behind them is genuine Flowers.

Lockdown has shown me just how small my world has become since I’ve been disabled. Basically nothing has changed for me in the past 6 weeks, apart from having to cancel a long looked-forward-to and saved-up-for holiday. I’ve got no friends anyway, which doesn’t bother me, so lack of a social life is nothing new. DH and I can’t afford to eat out or have weekends away or stuff like that, and we don’t spend money on random shit so we’re not suddenly any better off.

I had CV19 at the beginning of lockdown and 4 adults in the house 24/7 was a bit too much for all of us 😂, but DH and DD went back to work after the two week isolation and DS is furloughed but spends his time in his room anyway, so for me everything is pretty much normal. In a way it makes me sad that this is my life for the next 40+ years, but meh - there’s not much I can do about it.