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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder how something this big can disappear?

141 replies

LakieLady · 09/05/2020 09:14

A few weeks ago, DP cleared out the cupboard where all the pots and pans live, gave it a thorough clean and put everything back. Well, almost everything.

I have (had?) a large stainless steel carving plate, the sort with spikes to hold a joint of meat and a recess for the meat juices to drain into. It'll take a big sized turkey or whole gammon, so it's pretty big. It has lived in the pots and pans cupboard for 20 years.

I roasted a chicken last night and because I'm crap at carving I always use the spikey plate. It wasn't home. I asked DP where he'd put it. He intially denied ever having seen it, then started looking in other places in the kitchen, including on the tops of the wall cupboards. It is nowhere to be seen.

It's not in any of the drawers or cupboards. It's not even in the Cupboard of Doom where all sorts of mysterious stuff gets shoved when we have to have a panic clear up because someone's invited themselves round at short notice. He couldn't possibly have thrown it away, unless he did it in his sleep, because he knows I use it.

How the fuck can something approx 20" x 14" and 2" deep possibly disappear?

I'm unfeasibly attached to it too, I bought it just before I cooked my first Christmas dinner in 1975, so it's practically an antique, and much heavier gauge steel than modern ones.

If and when it eventually turns up, WIBU to ram it up DP's arse, spikes and all?

OP posts:

slipperywhensparticus · 09/05/2020 09:18

I lost a chopping board once a big one too it had somehow got down the back of the radiator (the sofa sits infront of that part of the radiator) and I didnt find it for 12 months

SummerintoAutumn · 09/05/2020 09:18

It will be in the 'Eureka Zone' according to Dr Solomon 😂.
Most things according to him are within 18 inches of where you think they will be but have slipped behind/under something else.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 09/05/2020 09:20

He threw it out.

Eminybob · 09/05/2020 09:22

Could it have slipped down the back of the cupboard? If you can remove the kick board see if it’s under there.
When I was a kid we had a cupboard with a gap and had to retrieve the cat from underneath the units.

FromTheAllotment · 09/05/2020 09:25

YANBU OP.

And this has made me think... Whatever happened to the poster who lost her ironing board? She lived alone in an apartment I think. Anyone else remember?

BruceAndNosh · 09/05/2020 09:26

I lost my equivalently large serving platter.
Even rang SIL to check if I left it there at Christmas.
Found it in garage wrapped up in plastic bag to keep it clean.

Yerroblemom1923 · 09/05/2020 09:26

He threw it out when he realised it was the last thing to go back into the cupboard and wouldn't fit...

cate16 · 09/05/2020 09:26

Well I just found one - still in the box, which I had 40 years ago as a wedding present, please let me know if you would like it as I haven't a clue why I still have it.
Its in perfect condition although the spikes have gone through the clear cellophane packagings.

BuffaloCauliflower · 09/05/2020 09:28

Could it have slipped into a gap somewhere? If it’s reasonably slim and shiny I can picture it being quite slippy?

Ninkanink · 09/05/2020 09:28

He didn’t know what it was so he threw it out and now he’s realised a) it was something useful and b) you’re going to be pissed off, so he’s pretending he didn’t see it.

Ninkanink · 09/05/2020 09:29

Oh apparently he does know what it is and that you use it...Maybe he’s always hated it and he decided to just take the opportunity to get rid?

Babdoc · 09/05/2020 09:29

OP, empty the pan cupboard completely, get a torch and look at the back of it. There is sometimes a gap between the cupboard and the wall behind it, and a thin tray may have slipped down it if DH shoved it back in carelessly. I once had that happen to my carving tray, but I saw it slide down there off the top of a pile of baking sheets I was trying to get out. I had to wiggle it back up the gap with pasta tongs, but finally extricated it!

Annonymiss123 · 09/05/2020 09:29

He threw it out when he realised it was the last thing to go back into the cupboard and wouldn't fit

Agreed! I DREAD when my husband goes on a (thankfully rare) decluttering spree. He dumps things that he decides are never used - even though I might find them invaluable! 🙄

covetingthepreciousthings · 09/05/2020 09:32

And this has made me think... Whatever happened to the poster who lost her ironing board? She lived alone in an apartment I think. Anyone else remember?

Also made me think of that thread! Anyone remember the ending? Did OP find the ironing board?

NearlyGranny · 09/05/2020 09:33

Has he changed the oil on the car? My big roasting tin ended up as a drip tray in the garage because "we never use it".

Until we do, like at Christmas, and it isn't there...

Puddlesplasher · 09/05/2020 09:35

I agree with others-he's thrown it out.

I was looking for my huge saucepan which I use when I'm batch cooking. I hadn't used it since we moved house a couple of months go and so hadn't noticed it was missing. DH happily told me he had taken it to the charity shop as "We never use it" He never used it because he doesn't cook however I used it on a regular basis!

Cornettoninja · 09/05/2020 09:38

I think it’s either managed to get caught up at the back, possibly on its side or he couldn’t fit it in so rehomed it on top of the kitchen cupboards. That’s where my dp helpfully stores things that won’t fit in a cupboard.

SoupDragon · 09/05/2020 09:38

When did you last use it?

Given he doesn't remember seeing it when clearing the cupboard out, there is a chance it wasn't put back there after the last use.

Winniewonka · 09/05/2020 09:40

It's eloped with my two cake whisking attachments for my Kenwood Chef mixer which I have owned since 1979. I made meringue for the top of a lemon pie in the first week of lockdown. I'm desperate to channel my inner Mary Berry but I can't find them anywhere. They live in the container with the mixer and other baking stuff.
I can definitely remember hand washing them, so where have they gone? They're too bulky to slip behind something.
It's so annoying!

Namechangex10000 · 09/05/2020 09:42

If it was my “d”p it would be safe to say he threw it out. Mine would sooner make me believe I’ve gone insane than just admit he did

Peacocking · 09/05/2020 09:42

Cate16, what a lovely kind offer.

MrAlyhakinsMassiveYacht · 09/05/2020 09:44

We have the same tray. It lives in two separate places - not at the same time, mind, but depending on who has taken it out of the dishwasher. DH believes it lives with the cooling racks and those metal things you put on the table to stop hot things burning it. I consider it lives with baking trays and cake tins.

RedRec · 09/05/2020 09:45

He threw it out and is now pretending to look for it. You know like when you get rid of an old toy that your children haven't used for ages and it suddenly becomes their favourite. Oh, the pretend looking I have done over the years!

BuffaloCauliflower · 09/05/2020 09:46

Do people’s DHs really just bin things without checking what they are/if they’re needed?! Mine would never do this! If he’s clearing something and doesn’t know what it is he’d ask, if it didn’t fit he’d make it fit or find it another home.

SerenDippitty · 09/05/2020 09:48

Have you checked the dishwasher (if you have one)? Right at the back?

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