to think mindfulness is a load of shit?

[nuttymomma]

I have a tendency to get upset about things and rant and let my emotions overtake me.

I would like to obtain better control of my emotions and respond more professionally but it is hard when I am faced with horrible bullies at work.

My union suggested mindfulness but I am finding it a load of crap. Take your time enjoying the apple, notice its texture etc.

What utter shite. Plus it doesn't make the bullying go away. It almost seems to be encouraging me to accept what's happening to me?

So whilst I want to be in control of my emotions and obtain more respect as a result, I'm not sure mindfulness is the right approach.

AIBU to think mindfulness is a load of crap and that people are making easy money from being mindfulness coaches?

Does anyone know a better approach to being more in control?

*dolls not rolls!

bullying examples (and I could fill pages but I'll try to summarise!):

racist remarks
disablist remarks
shouting at me
stalking me on social media
telling lies
questioning my performance
taking credit for my work
work lunches for the whole team, but I'm the only one not invited
witness statements I provided being ignored
withholding my pay
denying promotion opportunities
micromanaging eg rewriting my reports, asking me to run all emails past them, checking my online calendar and questioning every gap.
Phoning me whilst on holiday in spain and complaining I didn't respond

Just some examples

YABU to dismiss two approaches as rubbish because you didn’t find it immediately useful.

My Mum said it was her mindfulness sessions daily that helped her deal with her cancer and face what was ahead. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to face her death head on without what she’d learnt, and it was something so useful for her.

It sure as hell wasn't about holding an apple or eating a sultana for an hour.

Personally I think CBT is amazing and has transformed my life. But it is damned hard work and requires an enormous commitment and effort for it to work. It takes time and it’s very draining as you first get to grips with what you’ve been telling yourself all your life.

Is the job worth the stress OP.

I'm sure it is a load of crap for some people/in certain circumstances.

My experience with it has been incredible though - it succeeded in reducing, and eventually eliminating my regular panic attacks where medication/counselling/CBT had failed.

YABU.
As someone who suffers from anxiety, I find it really helps.
If you're like me and you're always wondering what if or have a million things you're wondering and worrying about all at the same time( usually completely unfounded crap) mindfulness helps to focus or quieten for want of a better word.
It's hard to get the hang of when your thoughts keep wandering off, but it gets easier.
Somebody mentioned being in the "now" - I find that just means focusing on whatever it is you're doing right now, for me washing plates up and focusing on that is a good one, sounds daft but works
Or if you can feel yourself starting to panic, a good exercise is to focus on what's around you. (Grounding) eg five things you can hear, or see etc.
Stops your thoughts spiralling and calms you down.
Won't work for everyone, but it does for me, and saying "load of shit, buzzword, etc is really unhelpful as a lot of people find it works.

I found NHS mindfulness the same. However, I watched a ted talk called being brilliant every single day and found it incredibly helpful (with a lot of practice). Also progressive muscle relaxation but I found that harder work to do.

Also have you considered OP that if you dismiss anything as "a load of shit" without really understanding what it's all about that you're rubbing people up the wrong way and coming over as very abrasive, angry and intolerant?

Mindfulness/meditation isn't about apples and raisins. It's about resetting your brain and learning to recognise when intrusive thoughts are sneaking back in. I really don't see how you can say it's a "load of shit" or doesn't work when you haven't given it a try. (Because if you had really given it a good go over a fortnight or a month you would understand what it's about).

And for the previous poster who said she can't do it because thoughts keep coming into her head - that's fine. The trick is recognising when your mind is wandering, and bringing the focus back. Like any skill, it takes practice.

OP sorry if I missed it

Have your union provided any backing for you to bring a case?

I think maybe if the bullying was dealt with then you would feel differently

I think the union were batshit to suggest mindfulness

If they don’t think you have a case, they should just tell you.

The job is not worth the stress no, but I can't afford to quit and I'm not having any luck finding another job.

Yes my union helped me put a tribunal claim in. That was last November. I've heard nothing. My union are now hardly responding other than to suggest mindfulness and to say that elements of my case are out of time which they never said when they helped me do the claim! They said back then my case was strong!

I don't have legal insurance or anything like that I could use instead.

nuttymomma That is shit I hope you find something else. Your health is your wealth this is having a serious affect on your health.

Keep on trying. Keep busy. Don't over- think mindfulness. Are unions going to be less effective at the moment? It's bad timing because now you don't know what the score is due to lockdown. Not sure what the deal is with unions. I wish you well. I'd also be pissed off if all i was getting was mindfulness recommendations when the situation is clearly more serious. Good luck.

If I'm really angry about something already, eg. Being in a crappy situation like being bullied, being advised to try mindfulness would send me into a rage.
It has its place but it should not be suggested as a way to silence people or to encourage them to accept something that they find intolerable.

Kick Boxing, or something similar.
I think anything including "mindfulness" is only ever any good if you buy into it and it suits you. It's also very passive and useless for when you need to kiss ass.
Which is what you need to do, if you don't mind me saying.

@Devlesko kick ass?
Yeah !