To be absolutely fucking done now?

[BasinHaircut]

I’m done. Started getting weary of all this lockdown shit about a week ago but today has broken me.

Feel so guilty about DS, he is an only child and wants me to play in the paddling pool with him. I just can’t. I do not want to. I am not a child. I’m sorry I did not provide you with a sibling, but I just can’t replicate that for you. He would have loved a brother to wrestle with all day long and I do what I can but I’m his mum and an adult with adult things to do. It’s constantly demanding attention. He doesn’t know how to be bored or amuse himself without the TV (which I also feel guilt about)

So he wants to play on the Xbox all day and TBH I want to let him but again I feel so guilty about it. He is in there now playing via FaceTime with his friends. It’s the only interaction he is getting with other kids. It’s such a nice day he should be outside.

DH and I haven’t had sex since the first week of lockdown. I just can’t face it after being in each other’s pockets all day every day.

I am now laying in my bed, totally overwhelmed by the pressure of just existing today. FFS I feel like I could explode.

I’m trying to be mum/teacher/playmate/wife/housemaid/cook/employee ALL AT THE SAME TIME
I wonder how many men are writing on Reddit or whatever
"I’m trying to be dad/teacher/playmate/husband/housemaid/cook/employee ALL AT THE SAME TIME"?
Those of you that are in a couple, I hope you are not taking the brunt of literally everything while your husbands get on with their own thing. That would make me homicidal.
I wish they would re open schools too. I felt like crying when they said late June for secondary schools. So, back for 2 weeks then the fucking "summer holidays" ! Gah 🤦‍♀️

Afternoon everyone. Just checking in to see how we are all feeling today.

I’m feeling much better after my wobble yesterday and it’s mainly thanks to you all.

DS and I watched a movie together this morning and this afternoon DS, DH and I had a family water fight which ended up with us all in the paddling pool! In between, DS did play Xbox pretty much all day but we also managed a family fish and chip shop lunch which we all walked down for together.

DH also did a ton of housework this morning whilst I pottered about by myself pretending to help and now I feel like I can breathe a bit deeper than yesterday.

Tomorrow I’m planning to bake scones with DS as our activity to do together and DH is going to take him in the garden for half an hour to play football to break up all of the XBox and YouTube he will be playing again.

I’m glad that we have an extra weekend day as I feel like Friday was a complete write-off and Monday would have come around too fast. I have booked next Friday off work too and plan to let DS do whatever he wants and to just try and be alone for the whole day too, then try and enjoy the weekend with a bit more serenity hopefully!

I have a six year old boy. My OH and I are still working and although we try to take it turns to spend time with him and get him to do some school work, mostly he left to his own devices, which inevitably leads to him being on devices.

I felt bad for a while, but we all just have to manage the best we can and I think it better that we are all relaxed and enjoy the time we do have together rather than just feeling guilty trying to juggle school teacher, entertainer, worker, cook, cleaner and parent!

Just do what you can and don't worry about what you can't.

This all made me shudder. My (only thank god) child is now 40 but all this brought back memories of when he was a child. I loathed playing games. Holidays were a nightmare as I worked part time (I would have even if I didn't need the money because adults are far more fun). Honestly - I truly sympathise with every single word everyone has written. Try not to explode because NOTHING LASTS. Good luck you poor women.

Totally feel your pain Op! I have one 6DD and she would love a sibling. Unfortunately it just didn’t work out that way and I’m now too old (for me) to have another. I also fucking hate games, I have zero imagination, can’t stand hide a seek bar the peace for counting. Much as I love my DD I want some silence for a little bit but also for her to see her friends again.
Mind you I absolutely hate the playground..so the fact it’s closed is a silver lining!

I had a major wobble last weekend and I told my OH that I needed to lie in bed all morning. Which I did, just staring at the ceiling, wallowing in the solitude and let him look after our DS (2). I felt guilty but OH is still going out to work and he has no idea how blooming lucky he is. I have found ways to pass the time with a small child though. We walk all morning. We go for miles, he goes as far as he can manage then I carry him in a toddler carrier and we don’t come home until lunch time. It’s much more manageable to just think of things to do for the afternoon. He’s still young so even though most days he doesn’t nap, he still needs a rest. So we snuggle up and watch something together on tv for an hour after lunch then do fun stuff until tea time or he plays independently while I attempt some home working. It’s not perfect but we have managed, save for my insane day of staring at the ceiling!

Don’t feel responsible for not having given him siblings. I’ve spent all day telling my 5yo twins not to fight/bite/kick/tease each other. Utterly fed up with them and the sound of my voice.... I was wishing (not for first time I confess) that it hadn’t been twins, so it’s nice to know that an only child isn’t easy either! 🤪

My brother allows his boys 30mins ipad time a day.
The twins have for 2hrs before breakfast!!

I felt like this 30 years ago without lockdown! Sahm I played with my eldest and sometimes I just wanted to sob. It will end it will get better. He will grow up. One day you will look back and wish you could have 1 More day. Promise x

I feel for you I too have only 1 DS he’s autistic and my DH is working away from home for the next 3 months. So I’m currently doing this sole. Have both sets of parents (his and mine) isolating so having to do there shopping etc. I’m up at 4-4:30 every day as my DS wakes early. Needs attention 24/7. I’m shattered. All respite has been withdrawn for the foreseeable future so I have not had a break since this started or likely too for the next 2 months. Do whatever you need to do to get through this!

for you @Shona52 that sounds tough.

Makes me think I’m whinging about nothing really.

OP I feel you. DD1 is 5 and is constantly "Mummy, mummy, mummy" and I have a 10 month old who just CONSTANTLY wants to be with me. Seriously, she would climb back up into my womb if she could.. 😕

Oh.. And also trying to wfh, and am also trying to arrange my Nan's funeral. Its relentless. DH is as much use as a chocolate fireguard. It's all a bit much!!

I feel the same in a lot of ways. My DD is an only child too and I try my best to do things with her but it’s just draining. DH is still working but to be honest on his days off he never does anything with her, her default setting is always ask Mum. I will say to her ask your Dad but she always says ‘he won’t do it with me’. Then I feel guilty because she has no one else to play with at the moment. I can’t even get out for walks on my own because she comes with me, though admittedly I do enjoy our walks together.

I’m going for a run as soon as DH gets in from work, just to get some time to myself.

Lots of judging on here. We are a blended family, my husband is black, I'm white, I have kids from a previous relationship and two together. Anyone looking in our garden not knowing us would assume our kids are seeing friends. Not that it bothers me, the lockdown police need something to do whilst dutifully waiting for their badges in the post 😉

OP I feel you. It's hard being full-time entertainment, parent, teacher, chef, house cleaner, etc. I've had to throw myself into activities, anything and everything, because I will lose my mind if I stop and take in the reality. Do what you have to to get by, we all have bad days where we struggle and it's expected, none of us have had to do this and it's new to us all, it's A LOT of change and it's ok. Mental health comes first.

Another single parent here of an only child 9yr old girl. Luckily she is still going to her dad's every other weekend and seeing her step sister so gets a change of scene and I get to work and be on my own. However, she is not getting on that well with her dad at the moment so I cannot fully relax while she is there as I worry about her feeling left out and upset etc We have just been for another long walk in the woods like yesterday as I know we both need to get some exercise. I am not good at playing dolls with her which she still likes to do and so I leave her to do it alone and hear her talking to herself and her dolls and making up scenarios which makes me feel shit as I think she must be lonely. I spend a lot of time talking to her as she is a very social child and needs people around. She is missing school and her friends dreadfully. They whatsapp facetime but it is obvs not the same.
Sometimes I have to tell her to leave me alone as I need quiet to work or just to concentrate on other things or for my own sanity. Luckily as we are incredibly close she knows me very well and knows I can suddenly lose my temper or get fed up and that she needs to give me space and then an hour later we can chat and be together again. We both deal with each others moods as best we can. It is not easy.

Her Brownie holiday weekend was meant to be this weekend. Her father was taking her to Disneyland Paris this month - also cancelled. I was taking her to Spain in June - also cancelled. Her school trip to London which was due to happen in September is also now cancelled. She feels pretty low but is putting a brave face on things. Sometimes I want to run away from it all but also she is my everything and she is much better to have around than most people. We are like an old married couple bickering and then making up etc.

I feel like a trapped animal though and I know she feels the same. She is currently on her computer playing a game. Like probably half the children in the country. Without knowing when this will end it is just more of the same each day.

You are not whining!!!! I think we mums are super starts just now. Just good to feel we are not in this alone. Just take each day as it cones big it’s a tough one. Write it off and do whatever you need to do. We don’t need to put ourselves under any more pressure then we have.

I have 2 DC but youngest is asd so often in his own little world. Eldest would play fortnite day and night given half the chance. Constantly feeling like a shit mum and that they're both on technology too much, especially the older one. But the constant "mummy mummy mummy" and the moping around drives me crazy. I'm a single parent so it's just relentless. I had my mini breakdown about homeschooling 2 weeks ago. I absolutely hate it, but work with eldest each day to get his done. Youngest I do a bit depending on his meltdowns, it's just too hard. I bought a new swimming pool to distract from the technology. 2 days they were interested. Eugh. Damn you coronavirus. Tbh I'm really grateful for this post because I've had some really low days where I've felt like such a lazy shite mum.

"You are not a kid" I get that but dont forget he is... why won't you go with him in the paddling pool, I do with mine, even if it's not for long.

My kids spend way too much time on their computers, they are outside at the moment but it doesn't happen often of their own accord. My DS has Discord set up on his computer so he can chat to his friends at any time, even if he's doing other things. My kids are not remotely demanding of my time these days. I can't begin to imagine how hard it is for you, it used to do my head in when they were younger and I couldn't even go to the toilet alone. Now they just about appear for meals. The only time they ever demand my attention is if I've just started a conference call and suddenly they need to know everything. In fact this evening DH was joking asking who the squatters were. I think you may just have to accept that for a bit of peace they may have to have extra screen time as that is needed for their socialising and your sanity.

Today I’ve utterly broken! I’m struggling with my 14mth old thats been EBF and will not come off the boob not even for expressed milk. It’s draining me physically, mentally and emotionally. 2yo I’ve been potty training for 7/8wks and he’s had great days but this week he just won’t tell me when he needs the loo. Even after asking him to come toilet he says no and whilst saying he doesn’t need to he’ll be peeing or pooping himself. Today I’m so frustrated I think tomorrow we’re gonna go bk to pull up pants because my flat is starting to stink as we have carpet and I’m sure I’m changing him more than we did when he was in diapers.

Finally, I have the most selfish, ungrateful, lazy and rudest 15yo daughter.

I went to pee and ended up breaking down for 45mins in the bathroom and even now 2.5hrs later the tears won’t stop. I think being alone and no other half to share the load with is really getting worse especially as the boys are so energetic and demanding!😢

God it’s crap isn’t it! Sounds awful but I hate playing with my kids. Actually now they are 4 and 6 it’s easier as I don’t mind top trumps or monopoly etc but playing where they ‘dead’ me and I have to act out a thing. I just can’t.
Don’t beat yourself up, in the grand scheme of things this is a fairly short period. Also I was an 80s baby and not from a deprived family or anything, but we watched tv all the time, I never made cakes with my mum, I didn’t have cool arts or craft stuff and I certainly didn’t have a big play set outside.
I think I’ve turned out ok..

I really hope schools open soon. In focusing on the vulnerable who aren’t healthy they’ve forgotten about those who are vulnerable in social and economic areas I feel. X

I sm the same. Today i was on the point of genuine tears because of the pressure to playh another game of fucking Roblox. Fuck me I hate roblox.

YANBU. I feel for you. I'm absolutely fucking done with it and very, very irritated, fed up and restless.

YANBU. Kids need to play with their peers, we need them to play with their peers, that's the way it should be. We are fucking them right over by locking them up for months on end.

I can't process no school until September 😫

My 10 year old has driven me to despair. I'm surprised the neighbours haven't called social services the screaming that goes on is something else (from both of us!). I bought him a rebound net so I didn't have to play football all the time, i hate football, Im about to be made redundant, I just cant be nice mummy. He used to go to his dad's every other weekend, but after I sent him a video of him misbehaving he's volunteered to have him for two weeks. I feel a bit guilty as I'm furloughed, and his dad still works. He's usually good for his dad on the weekend. I can't wait for the phone call when his dad can't cope with handing school work in on the computer and he goes mental (my son or my ex!). I'm desperate for him to go back to school, vaccine or not, he's going the second they say we can