To be absolutely fucking done now?

[BasinHaircut]

I’m done. Started getting weary of all this lockdown shit about a week ago but today has broken me.

Feel so guilty about DS, he is an only child and wants me to play in the paddling pool with him. I just can’t. I do not want to. I am not a child. I’m sorry I did not provide you with a sibling, but I just can’t replicate that for you. He would have loved a brother to wrestle with all day long and I do what I can but I’m his mum and an adult with adult things to do. It’s constantly demanding attention. He doesn’t know how to be bored or amuse himself without the TV (which I also feel guilt about)

So he wants to play on the Xbox all day and TBH I want to let him but again I feel so guilty about it. He is in there now playing via FaceTime with his friends. It’s the only interaction he is getting with other kids. It’s such a nice day he should be outside.

DH and I haven’t had sex since the first week of lockdown. I just can’t face it after being in each other’s pockets all day every day.

I am now laying in my bed, totally overwhelmed by the pressure of just existing today. FFS I feel like I could explode.

I totally hear you, OP.
We are both wfh with a 2 year old. He is such a good kid, and my DH is amazing at sharing and sometimes doing more than me all the childcare and chores etc
But my god - am I fucking bored of this shit!!

It’s not easy but how about doing a checklist of things just to tick off so you don’t have to feel guilty?
It’s a horrible feeling.
Firstly, Joe wicks, maths and spelling is fab. Do you join in with joe wicks? You don’t have to do it full on it and it can get funny.
Have the other things on your list that will make you proud or happy to have achieved.
You’ve identified that you need some time to yourself, so allocate that time. Stick a film on for dc or get your dh to do something with him and you just go and do what you need to.
Sometimes routined days can really help.

Can I just say, as an only child, please those of you that feel guilty for not 'providing' siblings, don't!

I've never once felt like I've missed out. I look back on my childhood so fondly and I'm so so close to my parents. My mum is my best friend.

I'm sure there were times I drove her mad asking her to play with me or whatever but I never had to contend for her attention and it's never affected me as an adult. I really don't care that I don't have brothers or sisters, in fact I see the way our kids argue and thank God that I didn't. Yes it would be nice as an adult perhaps, but I'm really not fussed.

I hear you. Mine are 13, 8 and 4

The 13 year old wants to talk to her friends and go out but can't

The 8 year old doesn't want to do anything but her switch

And the 4 year old is bouncing off the walls, wants to sleep in my bed every night and demand I go to bed at 8pm so he can

I'm on my own with them, off work at my work is closed. And I'm tired and done in

Im in bed too. Headache. Feel sick. Everyone else has got fabulous afternoon tea in the garden and decorations. My house is a tip and no plans as always.

It's shit.it really is.

DS is an only child and I let him play the Xbox quite a bit. He is chatting to his school mates through it. We live rurally and if we didn’t have the Xbox he wouldn’t have spoken to another child in 7 weeks.

Go and play in the paddling pool, OP. Just do it. F**k it - your child is asking you because they can sense you need the break, too.

Let your hair down, splash one another, laugh, cuddly and mess about. Go on. Just go for it and let everything else wait. your life won't fall apart, work won't be cross - they really won't and just enjoy the sunshine with your gorgeous child.

You are so lucky to have one, seriously. We only pass by this way once. The sun is shining, bank holiday weekend coming up, we have passed the peak - what is it all for if you can't enjoy the fun with a young child. Grab what you have got and enjoy it.

I wrote a similar post last week, I just felt like I had failed at everything. You are doing fine. Please remember you are in lockdown, too. Your world has been turned upside down as well as DC's. Just do what you can, we can sort it all out later when we can get back together.
P.S. my two fight like over dramatic drag queens, they make noises last heard during the Spanish Inquisition if the other one manages to touch the other right down to the molecular level and they've made my house looks like we've done the housework with dynamite. One tries to get some peace, the other one follows them, there's a big riot, I step in, separate them, the original follower instantaneously turns into Greta Garbo and the original peace seeker takes the hump because the other one wants to chill, rinse and repeat all flipping day.

In fact, you all sound like what you need is a really good water fight to let your hair down, stop being 'on' and just be.

Actually, it looks like most of us feel like shite most of the time. I imagine that the fab looking SM posts are on there because they are the pinnacle of that family's week rather than every day life.

I tried to make those cupcakes from
The queen’s bakers today. I’m usually a great baker. The recipe said to divide between 12 cases and I listened despite seeing They were very full.

They ended up fucked. I am irrationally angry at the queen and her bakers. I ruined 2 hours of my time, swollen pregnant ankles from standing, waste of ingredients and 2 hours where my poor DS was playing alone. I’m
not even sure what we did the whole day as it’s just a blur of the same shit as ever. Plus I had no sleep last night as DS wanted to party/fox got in the bins and dog woke us up barking.

Today has been a fucking write off and I just want a chinese takeaway and to have my feet massaged. But also I am all fat now due to the lockdown and comfort eating/not doing normal exercise.

Just wanted to rant. You are not alone. The amount of times I have had to just say no this week to DS wanting to do stuff I just didn’t want to fucking do. It’s so hard day in day out like this.

Op I feel the same. Ds9 is an only child too. He has 2 stepbrothers but due to lockdown is not really seeing them right now.

I complete get where you're coming from, watching them play and knowing how much they'd love a sibling to play with. Ds is not a good only child, he wants constant stimulation and just lights up around his stepbrothers.

I had a mc when he was 2 and a half, and it traumatised me. I knew I couldn't get pregnant again after that.

I try to get down to his level when I can. Not all the time, but there are aspects of play that I enjoy too, such as crafting, making a den, board games..

I'm sure you're doing a great job!

I could have written this! You are not alone and lots of my friends feel like this too. Just embrace Netflix! I have.

I hear you

1 DS who’s nearly 3 and would love me to play all day. But I’m pregnant and about to pop and with anemia I am struggling just to be awake let alone focused and able to move around easily

DH is very good when he is available but is working.
I’ve never felt like such a shit parent
I’ve never felt so exhausted

I am so lucky to have 3DC. DS is almost 16 and nocturnal. I have given up trying to make him work towards exams he doesn’t have to sit.

DD1 is 13 and the sweetest, most generous child. DD2 is 9 and definitely a bit of a diva, I am only still sane due to DD1!

I am wfh, and this week DD2 has needed more help than usual. I am lucky as my boss said “DD2 must come first, help her when she needs it”

My only break comes when I go food shopping.

I applaud parents of onlies, I couldn’t play with them.

Please don’t beat yourself up.

OP, all I can tell you is that I had lovely visions of my children having one another to play with - but they have fought horribly and incessantly more or less since birth, even now that they are far too old to do so daren't say how old as someone will wade in and tell me what I'm doing wrong

I hate the lockdown anyway, and I hate it all the more for never having a break from people arguing.

I hear you. Our primary school has started posting on twitter pictures of the children still there building dens and having fun and I can't face looking at it as we're in a flat with no garden and I don't want to see what they are missing

It's so hard entertaining kids at the best of times, and there would be no guarantee that if he had a sibling to play with that they'd actually get on which would make it way more stressful for you!!

If he wants to play on his Xbox/watch YouTube then let him, in the grand scheme of his whole childhood these couple of months won't really impact him all that much, we all need to do what we need to just get through this lockdown in one piece

I have no advice only sympathy. I have a DD3. I am pregnant. Dd3 cannot leave me alone for the length of time it takes to go to the loo. We sit on the sofa and she has to sit on me. She has to sit next to me at any meal. If I leave her sight as soon as she relises she can't see me she has to yell for where I am. I am completely touched out. I am completely played out. I cannot play another game of imaginary penguines or parties or whatever. I am dreading having a baby and a toddler to care for when I am feeling like this. All the coping strategies I was planning on relying on with a newborn are completely out the window now.

DH is working on a key services project which is coming to a head and is so stressed he had to go to hospital last week after displaying stroke like symptoms (it wasn't, thank god). I feel like I have to hold it all together.

I love both my DD and DH so much but I need my own space.

Let me assuage the guilt of all the parents of only DC. I have two, close in age. They fight, scream, wind each other up, interrupt each others games. The 3 year old asks a question, on average, every 30 seconds for 14 waking hours every day. I sometimes manage patience interest, sometimes I can fake the same, there's a fair amount of 'ask again later', sometimes I pretend I haven't heard at all and sometimes, to my shame, I just ask her to stop talking for 5 minutes.

I feel the same way re the paddling pool etc - I don't want to get in it and splash around. I dont want to watch a 'puppet show', play a board game with no respect for the rules or sit and watch them colour in. I dont want to listen to any more kid music, watch any more fucking peppa pig or any of the rest of it. My children are amazing little people but I never signed up to be a parent with no support, no break ever and none in sight and no activities outside our four walls. As I write, I've got neighbours on both sides with huge gatherings one of 20-30 people in a front garden in full view of the whole street (many neighbours also in attendance) and you know what, I don't blame them. I'm done.

I'm losing my mind here too OP. We aren't alone, it seems x

I don't know how old your ds is OP, but my ds is nearly 11 and before lockdown he was allowed an hour on the computer on a Saturday and Sunday to pay Roblox and that was it.

From day 1, he has had many, many hours, also has his own phone with Whatsapp, discord and god knows what else.

I hate it, but he really, really does need to be contact with children his own age.

His sister is 13 and even last year, they would have played together for hours. She doesn't want to now (fine) but he desperately needs interaction with his friends.

So wall to wall Roblox and Whatsapp it is some days.

He does do the basic school work/music practice that is required of him but outside of that I've stopped trying to control how he spends his time tbh.

His phone does turn off at 9pm so he gets a decent sleep, but other than that, extraordinary times call for extraordinary coping strategies.

I agree but I don't know why they can't have lockdown with school as the next step so people are only going to school and work. I just don't get why they'd open anything else before school.

If parents are struggling what about the kids. Too much longer of this and who knows what issues they might have.

They pester because they're wired to be sociable, it's just hard work no other time in history would that have been one of the parents alone. It's a huge burden. No advice but you're not alone.

Honestly lessen your guilt about screen time and x box and what not. Single mum here with a seven year old working full time at home with no garden. We would have both gone crazy if I had tried to uphold tiny amounts of screen time. She plays roblox with her friends whilst on FaceTime, so at least she’s chatting to people. I get her to do some stuff at other times but once the hardest bit of lockdown is done she will be outside playing with friends again, and we’ll go swimming and spend time with family. This screen time nonsense is not forever. I do what I do to survive.

Feeling exactly the same. DH is working full time (from home) and I’m part time (also from home) so the poor child has to amuse himself for a couple of hours each morning then I have to amuse him all afternoon, so I’ve left him to DH today, and all day it’s just been “Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy!” I feel a bit bad but mostly relieved it’s not “Mummy mummy mummy mummy” as it has been all bloody week. I just want to read a book in peace for once, without having someone climbing on me.