To be absolutely fucking done now?

[BasinHaircut]

I’m done. Started getting weary of all this lockdown shit about a week ago but today has broken me.

Feel so guilty about DS, he is an only child and wants me to play in the paddling pool with him. I just can’t. I do not want to. I am not a child. I’m sorry I did not provide you with a sibling, but I just can’t replicate that for you. He would have loved a brother to wrestle with all day long and I do what I can but I’m his mum and an adult with adult things to do. It’s constantly demanding attention. He doesn’t know how to be bored or amuse himself without the TV (which I also feel guilt about)

So he wants to play on the Xbox all day and TBH I want to let him but again I feel so guilty about it. He is in there now playing via FaceTime with his friends. It’s the only interaction he is getting with other kids. It’s such a nice day he should be outside.

DH and I haven’t had sex since the first week of lockdown. I just can’t face it after being in each other’s pockets all day every day.

I am now laying in my bed, totally overwhelmed by the pressure of just existing today. FFS I feel like I could explode.

I'm done too OP. I've finished studying, thank god, my course finished early, but I'm sick of home schooling. I'm sick of being on duty 24/7 with no break. I love term time! I can't even go for a walk in peace, because we're only allowed out once a day so I have to take DS2 with me, who then whines that we're walking too far and that his legs hurt. I'm fed up. I want things to go back to normal. I want my kids to go back to school. I want to be able to book a holiday that we can actually go on. Fuck coronavirus and fuck 2020!

You are being way too hard on yourself in my opinion. This is a really unusual circumstance we're all in, like some else said it's survival mode at the moment. Your son won't be the only kid getting more screen time at the moment! We'll all get through this and start to get back to normal but be kind to yourself op, you'll be doing alot better than you think

I feel the same today like I might cry. I’m so done now. And to the people saying oh stop being dull OP just play OP.... it’s not helpful. I feel like it makes me feel worse when People say that. I don’t want to anymore! My fun factor and patience are zero now and I’m exhausted I just want five minutes to do the housework in peace.

@Rebelwithallthecause im completely with you on this. Heavily pregnant with dc2 and have a 3 year old. Should be on maternity leave, having massages, afternoon naps, enjoying the sun. Instead im going insane locked indoors with my son who's used to going to nursery, grandparents, gymnastics, its relentlessly exhausting, husband is emergency services worker so had the added fun of trying to keep him quiet all week in the house as dh is night shift. I just want a day off 😭😭

Also feeling you OP @BasinHaircut son keeps hearing the 3 girls play next door and wants to go join them. Hes not used to being around just me the whole time. So demanding on me all the time. Going to the midwife makes me so excited as its an hour to myself

Kids remember the weirdest things, and totally forget the stuff you thought was the most important.

Mine can't remember any of the really cool stuff, but still talk about the time we were playing snap and the youngest won. They don't remember anything about a holiday except for one of them sneaking into our bed and DP rolling over them while he was asleep.

Don't worry about screen time - mine spend much more than the recommended amount of time on their ipads, and are always complimented on their vocabulary for instance - the turns of phrase that come out of my 6 year-old are fabulous, and it's all from youtube/TV/computer games. The works of art they produce in minecraft, the encouragement and teamwork they and their friends put in in Roblox or Plants vs. Zombies is lovely to hear (Just don't let them friend strangers)

Having said that. I've sometimes used that technique where you say to yourself, 'I can do this for 10 minutes' and I just empty my mind of anything but whatever thing the child desperately wants me to do, forcing myself to not think about all the other urgent stuff I also have to do. Then, once my time is up, I let myself retreat and do what I need.

Ohh this is just the sort of thread I was hoping to find! I'm right there with you in being fed up.

Our DS is an only child as well, aged 5. He has been doing extremely well entertaining himself in the morning while DH and I are in bed or working, but he can't last much longer than that.

In the afternoon, he was initially supposed to have 2hrs of TV while we worked (or while I had time to myself on my days off work), but this has morphed into 3-4 hours as I just can't bear the stress of trying to have 'fun' with him.. Before lockdown, he was only allowed a couple hours TV at the weekend, so the guilt for me is awful.

We go out for a walk & to kick a ball about every other day, which is fine, but in the house or garden, it's a nightmare. Everything ends in him screaming and raging in frustration or disappointment, or with him getting out of control & unable to stop himself doing stupid things.

I find that if I plan productive activities for us to do, things go more smoothly. Things like baking (though that comes with it's own set of frustrations), housework & cleaning (some things), or building something (lego, flatpack furniture...)... But there are only so many things.

I can't even let him video chat with friends or relatives because he turns batshit crazy - running around making noise, not speaking to the person but instead making more silly noises, etc. It's very draining.

So... You're not alone!!

Get in the paddling pool with him. Or sit outside it as he plays.
There is never a reason why you can't play with your kids in this way.

Late to the thread, but...

I realise DS has been awake for say 4 hours and has been watching YouTube or Netflix for the entire time.

Welcome to my world. Welcome to all our worlds

I dunno. I spent a couple of years completely broke as a single mum with my only job working at home in the evenings. It was like 2 years of lockdown! Lucky for me I do quite like to play sharks in the paddling pool and am quite happy to be daft.
To the poster who said there's no point to camp out or have a bbq with just you and your one child, of course there is! It could be really lovely. The moon is massive at the moment too.
I understand the relentlessness of all this is hard, I really do, but if you make the effort to play a bit you will have the sweetest memories, trust me.

OP, I see you and I hear you completely!

DS is an only child and I'm fucking exhausted - I literally count the hours til bedtime. We're all exhausted, we're all frustrated but most importantly we're all doing the best we can.

You're not a failure, at all. He wouldn't have you any other way.

I wouldn't mind playing so much if he actually played. All he does is offer a stream of 'no you're not doing it right.' 'no do it like this.' It's utterly debilitating and, like you, I've never been a 'playing' Mum. It's not in my nature.

May I suggest investing in a water gun? Only one though... it's been the best £11 I've ever spent and DS considers it 'playing' to be drenched as I sit in a garden chair enjoying the sun.

I’m absolutely feeling this OP. I’ve got two but with a fairly big age gap so they don’t play together and they just fight constantly, they both have very different needs so I’m having to home ed the oldest while trying to stop the youngest from trashing the house. Neither of them can keep themselves entertained unless there’s screens involved. DP is still working so it’s just me and the kids all day every day. As PPs have said, it’s about survival right now, these are very unusual times, if screens are needed to keep you both sane then so be it.

I have to admit to never wanting to do baking though! I hate baking with a passion..

"There is never a reason why you can't play with your kids in this way."

@VerticalHorizon There is.
When your own needs have not been met, or can't be met.

When playing with your kids is so tedious for you, you spend the entire time wishing you were doing the dishes...

It's not a parent's job to play with their kids. It's nice when it can happen, but it's not obligatory. Attempting to make people feel guilty about not playing with their kids is pretty low.

Do you know any nice tweenage children your son could video call? I've put 7 yo DD (only child) onto a video call with her cousins who are 12 and nearly 10 and they somehow play over Skype for an hour (the 12 yo seems to direct things). It's not as good as in person but it's something. DD has also spent hours and hours up a tree playing with the DC next door. Not quite sure how it's working. We did notice they were digging a tunnel so had to fill it in!

Fortunately DH and I are both pretty childish which helps but do you have a grandparent, auntie, uncle, random work friend who's up for a bit of messing about and silly jokes on video?

People still missing the point. I can be fun! But right now - no. I feel like I’m going to implode if I don’t get some alone time. And the PP who said their child moans when they try to play..yes! Dd wants me to play..... her exact specific way and I want to scream

Do you have a beach ball or light ball that you could try throwing to him, so that you're engaged but not actually in the pool? Or surprise him by suddenly jumping in, clothes and all, they love it and these games can be tedious but they can be happy with a 10 minute play (have a nice cosy blanket and glass of wine at the ready afterwards ;-), then maybe watch a film? I do find that if I give a bit of 100% attention and fun they do let me do more afterwards, otherwise they are badgering me the whole day long!

Don't panic - Johnson has a road map to get us out of this mess.

Having driven the whole country down a dead end lane that ends at a cliff edge.

Personally I wouldn't be confident that he could navigate his way out of a paper bag.

@VerticalHorizon how many children are you parenting through this lockdown? Either you are very naive or very shortsighted because let me assure you, under this set of circumstances there are a great deal of reasons why a parent might not be able to get into a paddling pool with their child. Would you care to rethink that statement, or do you need me to enumerate some of those reasons? Either way take your judgement elsewhere.

I hear you I'm ready to implode solo parent to two 4 yrs and 7 years

I reached my limit at week 4 I'm at week 8 now and it's looking like September before I'll get a break

Sending you a hug of solidarity

I am definitely with you on this OP.

The constant talking.
The constant wanting attention.
The fact that I have to repeat myself 3 or 4 times every sentence because DS (4) has the attention span of a gnat.
Oh and perhaps due to lockdown or a growth spurt, I am effectively a milk bar for DS (5 months).

I am done in, fed up and touched out and I want to go to a floatation tank and lie in warm dark water ON MY OWN.

Feel so guilty about DS, he is an only child and wants me to play in the paddling pool with him. I just can’t. I do not want to. I am not a child.

This was the rationale given, and 'I am not a child' shouldn't hinder playing with them.

And sometimes, a child's needs outweigh our own. That isn't diminishing the mental strain on anybody in the lockdown.

Part of being an adult and a parent. Doing stuff we don't always want to.

This is the first week I’ve struggled but I’ve been finding it difficult being home with my children constantly and then going to work and caring for other people’s children. I’ve got to the point where I just want to not pay attention to other people for a few hours.

I'm so pleased I found this thread.

I totally get you OP. DD is 12 and an only child. She has SEN so still likes to tell stories and play. Pop up Pirates and Pop to the Shops lose their charm fairly quickly although I am trying to kid myself that they are educational as my home schooling is quite crap.

I think if they have a competition after this is all over (if that ever happens) ) then DD will be the Roblox champion of the world.

I am spending a lot of time feeling guilty about too much screen time but at least on Roblox she is interacting with her friends.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love having her at home but if I hear any more posts about how great home schooling is and how fit we are because we get up early every morning and do Joe Wicks first thing I think I will self-combust!!

I’ve had a very overwhelming week too, I’m so glad it is the weekend now and my oh will be home for the next two days. I’m finding it extremely intense with my 3 kids. My eldest son (6) behaviour is awful which is making things harder. I’m sorry I don’t know what to suggest but I’m at breaking point most days. I’m worried about what is going to happen when with the kids when they do go back to school (whenever that will be) I worry for them socially/behaviourly/mental health wise. What impact on everyone’s long term health will be. If lockdown is affecting grown adults it’s definitely affecting kids too.

My only child has three imaginary friends, I've started chatting to their parents during imaginary play dates....