DP is very different from me. We have very different interests, different backgrounds and upbringings, different levels of education. He's introverted, uncomfortable with change, detail-oriented.
When I used to imagine who I'd end up with, it was someone who shared my interests, who was my intellectual equal, and was similarly dreamy-headed and adventurous.
I had a few of those relationships and they were disastrous for my mental health.
Then I met DP.
He works hard at our relationship, and so do I. He's reliable, humble, open-minded, curious, and shares himself with me in a way he doesn't with anyone else. There have been times we've really struggled to see eye to eye on some things, and I've watched him do the inner work to understand my world and meet me there. He inspires me to be a better person, and he says the same about me.
We're not soulmates. We don't 'match'. But we love one another like it's a verb, and we both know we're here because we choose to be – not because it's 'effortless' and 'obvious' and 'just right'.
And I think I'm learning that actually, that's everything I want in a relationship – someone I can see choosing me every day through their actions, who teaches me new ways to approach things and shows me the other side of stories, and who inspires me to do the same.
Soulmates? No. Settled? No. Not sure what you call what we have, but it's really forking good.