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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Meghan Markle story time

325 replies

Mummylovesbags · 06/05/2020 17:44

Posting here for the traffic and so this is read by a diverse pool of people - not just royal fans...

I really like Meghan Markle and I admire her for carving her own way and being a feminist in her choices. I like that she waited after the birth for photos and spoke up about the metoo movement etc.

As much as I like Duchess of Cambridge, I don’t think she does anything to advance women. She seems to do what is expected of her which people love but which I find awful. She has a responsibility as a role model for young women but yet Seems to be the perfect, painfully thin, upper class wife that does as she is told, rarely speaks and is every sexist, wealthy, white man’s dream.

I’m a little lost as to why people seem to be pro Kate and anti Meghan. Is it because Kate is what all middle class women aspire to be in England. Doing as one is told ? Being a softly spoken English lady that wears tweed and frolics in the country while her husband is on a boys ski trip etc etc

Have we all forgot about feminism ?

OP posts:
bluemoon77 · 07/05/2020 09:15

Meghan is a bully, she bullied staff, she stops friends when they are no longer any use to her, she treated her father like shit, it’s her way or no way

Totally agree.

LaurieMarlow · 07/05/2020 09:35

Meghan is a bully, she bullied staff, she stops friends when they are no longer any use to her, she treated her father like shit, it’s her way or no way

Totally agree.

How can you agree with this, when you’ve only been exposed to a few flimsy stories a heavily biased press has fed you?

You’ve never met her or anyone who’s had direct dealings with her (I presume). All you’re basing opinion on are made up ‘sources’ and Piers Morgan bile designed for click bait.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/05/2020 09:39

How can you agree with this, when you’ve only been exposed to a few flimsy stories a heavily biased press has fed you

Exactly.

I see there's more defence of her horror of a father as well. People spout how awful she is with no evidence, yet are quite happy to feel sorry for her father who is a proven arse.

FrancisCrawford · 07/05/2020 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrippEnos · 07/05/2020 11:21

MouthBreathingRage

yet are quite happy to feel sorry for her father who is a proven arse

You seem to be falling into some sort of trap here.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/05/2020 11:26

You seem to be falling into some sort of trap here.

Care to elaborate?

FrippEnos · 07/05/2020 11:29

You are doing the same as you accuse other people of.

Looking at what has been presented in the papers as the whole truth, but only when it suits your side of the narrative.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/05/2020 11:35

Looking at what has been presented in the papers as the whole truth, but only when it suits your side of the narrative.

No, I'm judging Thomas Markle on what has come out of his own mouth, admitting setting up the press for his own gain. Never mind saying that his daughter 'owed him', whatever the hell that means. Unlike an opinion on Meghan, which is all based on media opinion which is all second/third hand evidence of 'what she is like'.

She may well be all those things mentioned but until there is definitive proof, it's all speculative. Even then it doesn't warrant the level of vitriol against her on here or elsewhere.

FrippEnos · 07/05/2020 11:40

So you are judging him by how the media is portraying him, This is the same media that you are saying is portraying meghan in a poor light.

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 07/05/2020 11:49

Like the above - if Thomas is a ‘proven arse’ which I can only assume has been shown in the media, then surely MM is ‘proven’ to be whatever she has been accused of being.

Unless you have in depth knowledge of the whole situation?

Surely it can’t be one way for her dad and one way for her?

Nice of the OP to start yet another bunfight about this and bugger off though. Well done.

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 07/05/2020 11:52

Not saying that the OP has started multiple threads about this by the way.

But it is remarkable how many posters spout off about something known to get very strong opinions and then knob off.

littlepeterwimsey · 07/05/2020 11:55

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CaptainButtock · 07/05/2020 11:56

For everyone playing the 'racist' card...

It was only at the wedding that I realised her mother WAS black. Great, I thought. What a breath of fresh air for the RF.

Then I got to thinking..... why straighten her natural afro hair? Why the nose job? Why does she only ever date/marry white men?

For a supposedly proud WOC, she sure seems to avoid it wherever possible?

MitziK · 07/05/2020 12:01

I think a lot of the negative comments, particularly in things like the Daily Mail, aren't from the UK. It's a site marketed to the US and Australia as well and, like it or not, the issue of racism is far more polarised in both. To many/most British people, a dual heritage woman marrying a white man and having a baby isn't anything special. And where people are racist, they are less likely to be vocal about it.

Saying that, however, there are undoubtedly still festering pools of racism in the UK as well. Perhaps if comments from overseas (and there is no way of telling, after all, the site allows posters to be anonymous) legitimise those comments, you then end up with them snowballing. Papers play to their audiences.

There is an overlap between sexism and racism in that people tend towards having similar attitudes - a racist person is more likely to feel that a woman is supposed to fulfill their idea of traditional roles.

As it is, all Royal wives (and girlfriends - and husbands/boyfriends, to be fair) attract a considerable amount of prejudice and criticism. The difference is when a new one comes on the scene, the previously vilified one usually becomes elevated.

Prince Philip has always been criticised for his heritage. Princess Margaret's suitors were criticised. Prince and Princess Michael of Kent were regularly ripped to shreds. Then it was the turn of the next generation - Diana was slaughtered, then beatified, then slaughtered, then deified. Sarah was treated as a breath of fresh air and then torn apart. Her daughters are routinely slagged off for weight, their looks, their choice in men. Sophie was a gold digger and scam artist and a beard until she was considerate enough to nearly die in childbirth. Kate was a nice girl, then a calculated harridan acting under instructions of her mother, then became acceptable for conforming to the image of a Wife and Mother, particularly once Harry's girlfriends became of interest - then they were the target for their sexual behaviour, their appearances, everything.

Unfortunately for Meghan, she has a car crash family that just keeps on giving. And she will always trigger people who hate the thought of interracial marriages. And she doesn't conform to the notion of an obedient, absolutely perfect wife. I actually like the fact that she had a visibly larger build after the baby was born. It's rare for somebody in the public eye to be seen as anything other than physically perfect (or at least Photoshopped if not tummy tucked). Not everybody snaps straight back, not everybody wants to. But I like that she didn't - it possibly explains to some extent why photos were more carefully managed - who wants to have the papers calling them a fat cow; it already happened in the previous generation - nobody wants to be the next Fat Wife, as that's something which would never, ever go away.

She's no better or worse than any other person. She's just a person. But, as the press won't get as many clicks from 'Oh, how lovely' stories from the demographic that would normally like Royalty related stories, they go for the ones that get people clicking to be shocked and angered.

Experimenopause · 07/05/2020 12:03

I don’t know what all the fuss is about regarding Meghan. We never hear the real stories, just Mail-level shite. That shite doesn’t matter. What matters is they Meghan has a strong and independent personality, quite unlike Kate’s.
If I had in-laws who embraced people like Andrew, I would go NC with them. Can’t see why Meghan shouldn’t be allowed that right.
I also don’t think joining royal family should stop people from working in their career and ambitions. If it does, we need to ask what exactly are the royal family members doing anyway. Not much in my opinion. They are redundant and a burden on the tax-payer. Good for Meghan to get rid of them.

Silenceisnotgolden · 07/05/2020 12:05

Meghan is beautiful, smart and wants the best for her family. I admire her for making difficult decisions based upon what she thinks is right.

Kate is beautiful, smart and wants the best for her family. I admire her for making difficult decisions based upon what she thinks is right.

I envy neither and admire both for falling in love with a prince and being eternally condemned to relentless criticism, judgement and faux rivalries.

YABU.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/05/2020 12:05

So you are judging him by how the media is portraying him,

No, I'm judging him by the things he has said himself, not what the media has alleged he has said and done.

Viviennemary · 07/05/2020 12:09

One person in her family invited to her wedding with 600 guests. She had aunts uncles and cousins and a half sister and brother. They were all awful Hmm. Says it all IMHO.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/05/2020 12:13

@CaptainButtock

It was only at the wedding that I realised her mother WAS black. Great, I thought. What a breath of fresh air for the RF.

You must have been the only person in the country not to know she was biracial before you saw her mother. Why the 'was' exclamation? She still is black and did you think MM had made that up? Just a weird statement all round.

Then I got to thinking..... why straighten her natural afro hair? Why the nose job? Why does she only ever date/marry white men?

Fucking hell, seriously? Are black women not allowed to do any of those things? If they do, do they have to give up their right to 'blackness'? I really am not sure what you're alluding to here, but whatever it is, it's not good.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/05/2020 12:16

@Viviennemary, I invited 0 members of my family to my wedding. Most of them are awful, a couple were just too far away. Is it really that farfetched to believe that one finds most of their family horrible and the last place they'd want them is at their wedding?

littlepeterwimsey · 07/05/2020 12:17

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milveycrohn · 07/05/2020 12:23

There is a difference between the media, as in the newspapers, and the comments below the line.
There is also a difference between social media and newspapers / mainstream tv.
Finally, there is a difference between the paparazzi, who are often freelance, and I believe the ones chasing Diana when she was killed in Paris were actually mainly French and Italian, rather than British.
In the UK, it was generally accepted, that there was a photocall at the christening, or starting school, then the papers left them alone. Someone actually commented on this, that the first pictures are often taken abroad, where there are no protocols.
I welcomed Meghan initially, but clearly there was a big mistake in Harry not meeting Thomas Markle, her father. Have they ever met?
I am sure that some of the unpleasantness with her family would not have happened if they had met prior to the wedding. Maybe the photo pics would not have been taken, and maybe Thomas would have received some better advice and withstood the pressure.
Since then there has been a lot of bad media attention, with some really awful comments below the line.
However, H&M had a good tour in Africa, with very positive newspaper coverage, which they spoilt by giving a negative interview and suing the DMail.

BottomleyPottsCoveredInSpots · 07/05/2020 12:28

Is it really that farfetched to believe that one finds most of their family horrible and the last place they'd want them is at their wedding?

Not far-fetched ... but I'd suggest it says something about both parties. With the exception of her (apparently perfectly decent) mother, she doesn't seem to have much regard for family, and for whatever reason Harry seems to have followed her down that route too.

derxa · 07/05/2020 12:39

I invited 0 members of my family to my wedding. Most of them are awful, a couple were just too far away. Is it really that farfetched to believe that one finds most of their family horrible and the last place they'd want them is at their wedding? It just sounds incredibly sad.

MouthBreathingRage · 07/05/2020 12:49

It just sounds incredibly sad.

It's a very sad and complex in my case. Very lonely at times as well, people don't get into a situation where they don't want their family involved in their best times without complex situations behind it. Must be 10x worse when you have the eyes of the world looking in on it, unpicking it and judging you for your choices.