HELP - Neighbour just threatened us.

[hunghome]

Hi there, I know this isn't an entirely AIBU but is somewhat...

We moved house 6 weeks ago. Next door is a house converted into two flats, with an old man at the bottom. He has lived in there 44 years (he says) and from our understanding, rents (long term tennant).

He doesn't maintain his garden, he has trees around 20 metres high that are blocking light into our garden. We sent a note (due to Covid) asking if we could trim the trees and if he could discuss with us. We said we would pay.

Today he comes over the fence and says that we are bullies and should have knocked. I said no, because of corona and his age.

He then said our new rescue dog woke him up - she did bark at a cat this morning, it is something causing us issues and she is new (we have heard her 6 weeks also). No other neighbour minds (or says they don't anyway). He bangs on the fence etc which often provokes them.

He threatened to go to my husband's work to report him, report his story to the papers, said that if I have a baby the dog will kill it (they aren't even slightly violent). Said my dog tried to attack him (during lockdown he came to my car window and she barked at him).

I then said I didn't want to cut down the other neighbours evergreen as it is a nice tree (it is - and doesn't block light) and he said see 'did you get that' (to no one - he lives alone) and said he's recording me for his solicitor. I said I was unaware of him recording and that we will no longer speak and I shut the door and walked away.

I am shaking. What do I do?

Is there a way to find out who the landlord is without going through him?
I am scared he will try to poison the dog as he made several comments about getting rid of her.

Report the threats to the police. I doubt he will follow through.
The trees are the responsibility of the landlord/owner of the property.
You can probably find out who that is via the land registry.
He can't give permission regarding the trees anyway if he is renting.

He's frightened of you, sounds like. Frightened people often come across angry.

Try to de-escalate the situation for now.

Leave it a bit, then stick a note through his door saying you're sorry you seem to have got off on the wrong foot, you didn't mean any offence, you're working on the dog's behaviour.

I'd give up on persuading him about the trees for now. If they are really 20m tall he's had them a long time, probably quite attached to them.

You bought the house knowing full well the trees were there. Why would you expect him to cut them. Your solicitor would have told you have no right to light.

I think he probably does fill uncomfortable

I wouldn't engage any further!

Do find who his landlord is and contact them direct.

For your dog, go around armed with a treat pouch full of yummies (you can mix half her normal kibbles if she eats dry food with half something tastier, as it keeps things more interesting without over-filling the dog).... EVERY time you hear a noise, react as if its fun and give her a treat or three. Do not wait for her to react or see if she will remain quiet, this is classical conditioning - sound = yummies.

Very quickly you will find she looks to you when there is a noise and stops reacting as her emotional response has changed from 'eargh ooh err' to 'oh yum'. Then you can start to fade out the treats to a more random level.

This is how I have five dogs who do not bark at either set of neighbours despite one set being the loudest fuckers on earth and the other having two toddlers currently at the 'lets murder each other' stage.

I'd just leave it and try to forget about it. If you react to it then you'll only make things worse in the long run.

I assume you were aware of the trees before you bought the house. You don't actually have a right to light unless your deeds specifically say so. The Law on this is quite complex. You can't just chop down someone else's tree.

Tbh I'd be a tad peed off if someone who'd just moved in wanted to chop my trees that had been there for years.

Could your neighbour have MH issues OP? I lived next door to an elderly lady years ago & one minute she'd tell me how wonderful I was & the next she said that she was going to report me for throwing bricks at her window, when she'd actually thrown a small pebble at me! Of course I was horrified at the accusations at the time as I had visions of people actually believing that I was bullying an elderly lady. You could ask some of the other neighbours about him. I had my doubts about my neighbour at first & assumed that she was just trouble, but I talked to the caretaker & he confirmed that the lady had MH issues.

He's going to report your husband to his work. For a start what's anything got to do with your husband's work.
(A) It baffles me how neighbors know so much about each other. I don't know anything about mine. I wouldn't have a clue if they worked, let alone where they worked. Furthermore how would he know your DHs manager.
(B) If he did manage to find out who to speak to w hat would be say. I've been threatening one of your employees.
Same with the papers. What side of the story has he got.
I'm sorry but none of this makes a blind but if sense

@Tableclothing. Why has Op got to apologize about her dogs behavior.
Perhaps if he wasn't banging on the fence tormenting him the dogs behavior would be very different.

Can’t believe you’ve only been there 6 weeks and have already asked for the trees to be chopped. You knew the tress were there- if it’s a problem you shouldn’t have bought the house.

Why would you buy a house with large trees on an adjoining site which bother you, and immediately set about campaigning to have them removed?
They're not yours, you have no say over them. Nobody else minding your dog barking is ridiculous, too. Nobody has actually complained, you mean.

Be careful. You now know why the house was on the market. Maybe keep your mouth shut and sell up once COVID19 is over. If you report anything you have to make it known to potential purchasers. Obviously you should report any ongoing disputes but it's hard to prove if there is no formal reporting paper trail. I know lots of people who've had to play this game. I've learned to spot these houses as on some sites like Rightmove and Zoopla you can see the purchase history, houses which have a longer history of changing hands like every year or two years or three, it's usually because of a neighbor issue not formally reported and it only adds up once you've bought into it. Don't feel too guilty as it's just how the process works. Think of all the people who've sold it on before you, they've all done the same and played the game probably.

OP if they are conifers legally they cant be over 6/7ft anyways.

He probably likes his trees.

I don't don't think it was the best of plans to move in somewhere then after only a few weeks write to a neighbour asking them to make changes to their own property. I'd have waited about a year before bringing that up! I know this lockdown has made everything different, but if anything it should have made you want to wait not plough forward with this. Older people feel vulnerable at the moment.

You knew the trees were there and shouldn't have bought the house if this was important to you.

Focus on the improvements you can make to your house and garden that are a part of your house and garden and on setting in your rescue dog.

People who have had bad neighbours in the past, can often be a bit wary when new people move in.

Oh just leave the man alone, leave the trees alone and shut your dog up.

Your note probably made him feel anxious and bullied.

He hasn't really 'threatened' you as such.

We did buy the property knowing about the trees, however they have grown significantly over our side. We do not need permission to cut this over our boundary but we were being neighbourly.
We don't want them cut down, just slightly trimmed and said we would pay. His garden is overgrown with rubbish in (old car parts etc) so there's no way he is looking after it.

We are fine with not being allowed, we just thought we would ask.
I have had to report to police as he threatened to kill the dog.

Oh please, you move and immediately start harassing people to cut their trees.

If you didn't like it why did you move in? So you can dictate to other people what they should do?

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

OP doesn't have to apologise for anything, if she doesn't want to. But I was thinking about the situation they are currently in (stressful conflict with neighbour, threats against dog, no chance of trimming the trees) and the situation they would like to be in ideally (neutral/positive relationship with neighbour, trees trimmed) and how to achieve that.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, and all that.

Also he does not own the property.

How is his garden overgrown with rubbish? Rubbish doesn't grow.

Also he does not own the property.

Ah, but you own yours so your rights are bigger than his.

another post about chopping trees. New poster as well.
I know what's this obsession with trees

Anyone saying we have harrassed him is out of order here.
The note simply said
'Hi X,

Hope you are safe and well. Please let us know if you need anything that we can help with.

We were just wondering about the trees as they have grown a lot and are over our side. We were hoping we could trim these? We would pay for a tree surgeon to ensure it is done correctly.

Let me know if you would like to discuss'

His problem was that we wrote a note and that we want to touch his trees. They're not even his trees.

Also, now is active nesting season.

You can't go round chopping bits of trees.