Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

HELP - Neighbour just threatened us.

176 replies

hunghome · 06/05/2020 11:30

Hi there, I know this isn't an entirely AIBU but is somewhat...

We moved house 6 weeks ago. Next door is a house converted into two flats, with an old man at the bottom. He has lived in there 44 years (he says) and from our understanding, rents (long term tennant).

He doesn't maintain his garden, he has trees around 20 metres high that are blocking light into our garden. We sent a note (due to Covid) asking if we could trim the trees and if he could discuss with us. We said we would pay.

Today he comes over the fence and says that we are bullies and should have knocked. I said no, because of corona and his age.

He then said our new rescue dog woke him up - she did bark at a cat this morning, it is something causing us issues and she is new (we have heard her 6 weeks also). No other neighbour minds (or says they don't anyway). He bangs on the fence etc which often provokes them.

He threatened to go to my husband's work to report him, report his story to the papers, said that if I have a baby the dog will kill it (they aren't even slightly violent). Said my dog tried to attack him (during lockdown he came to my car window and she barked at him).

I then said I didn't want to cut down the other neighbours evergreen as it is a nice tree (it is - and doesn't block light) and he said see 'did you get that' (to no one - he lives alone) and said he's recording me for his solicitor. I said I was unaware of him recording and that we will no longer speak and I shut the door and walked away.

I am shaking. What do I do?

Is there a way to find out who the landlord is without going through him?
I am scared he will try to poison the dog as he made several comments about getting rid of her.

OP posts:
crustycrab · 06/05/2020 18:27

If he's rented the house for 44 years contacting the landlord will be pointless. Impossible to get him out

SunbathingDragon · 06/05/2020 18:29

As next door is flats I would expect it to be leasehold so ask the resident upstairs who their management company/freeholder is or get their owner’s details if they also rent, so you can contact them for that information (assuming owned by different people).

newyearnoeu · 06/05/2020 18:34

@ChardonnaysPetDragon
Also he does not own the property.
Ah, but you own yours so your rights are bigger than his.

Well, in this case, yes they are Confused. Ultimately if the older man's landlord said 'sorry you have to move out' or 'sorry I want/need to cut those trees down'; he would have minimal recourse. Whereas nobody is in a position to say that/impose their preferences on the OP and her garden.

OP also has more rights than him with regard to the branches overhanging her property - she is legally allowed to trim them without consulting him.

This is just legal fact - doesn't mean owners are better than renters, nor renters don't have rights, nor that renters rights are very important and deserve to be protected.

Thisismytimetoshine · 06/05/2020 18:38

If he's rented the house for 44 years contacting the landlord will be pointless. Impossible to get him out
Why are you assuming he would be evicted on op's say so, if only it were possible??

SunbathingDragon · 06/05/2020 18:43

If he's rented the house for 44 years contacting the landlord will be pointless. Impossible to get him out

It’s not necessarily about getting him out but getting the trees trimmed.

Truthpact · 06/05/2020 18:51

Maybe @crustycrab meant the landlord? I wasn't sure there but I thought they meant getting the landlord out to deal with the problem would be impossible.

boylovesmeerkats · 06/05/2020 18:55

You have my sympathy about the trees, we had a massive wall of lleylandii conifers on our neighbours side, we didn't have a lot of choice with houses so bought it anyway. I think 6 weeks in a pandemic is too soon to have asked.

We went halves with our neighbour, paid hundreds to get the cut back and 6 months later they were are the same height again 😬

When they put their house on the market we offered to pay for their removal and they were such aresholes really they weren't going to live there but in the end they only backed down when we said we'd go to the council. I think it's the high hedges act. You have to offer mediation first which we did in a letter.

Your dog may well be annoying. I don't think he's going to poison your dog he just doesn't like you or your dog!

Can you just keep to yourselves a bit and ask him in the autumn? You don't know him at all he might have all sorts of stuff going on.

BertiesLanding · 06/05/2020 19:34

Have I just fallen into the Twilight Zone? So many posts criticising the OP for being entirely reasonable, imo.

OP, contact the police, and see if you can find out who the landlord is. Your neighbour is being atrocious, and is age is no excuse, nor any fear he may be feeling. Personally, I think he has issues, so you'll almost certainly not be able to reason with him, unfortunately.

Thurmanmurman · 06/05/2020 20:05

He sounds awful OP. I bet you it's why the previous owners moved. Being old is no excuse for being a twat and your note is perfectly polite and reasonable. The problem with people like this is that you can't reason with them. I'd try his landlord if you can find out who they are. Maybe he'll have a conversation with the LL like a decent human being.

HaddawayAndShite · 06/05/2020 20:18

Have I just fallen into the Twilight Zone? So many posts criticising the OP for being entirely reasonable, imo.
Glad it’s not just me thinking this. Mumsnet, more like cuntsnet!

YouTheCat · 06/05/2020 20:27

Same.

Also, Haddawayandshite, cracking name.

hunghome · 06/05/2020 20:40

Thank you to everyone who has realised what my intentions are.

To anyone who said I was BU in asking about the trees, I simply asked. It is a question. He has a right to say no. The note in no way can be considered as harassment.

I was simply trying to help.
Anyone saying that my 'i own v rent' could be inflammatory needs to absolutely understand that HE came over my fence. I was still in my pyjamas having a coffee. He peered into our glass doors to the kitchen, banged on them and shouted for us. He had a go that we didn't come down straight away (mad man).

He then barely let me speak. He also said he wouldn't speak to me until 'my fella' was present. I was calm, apologised etc.

Regarding the dog, I COMPLETELY sympathise. Our first dog we got as a rescue puppy and we trained her well (I volunteer for the animal charity they are both from). The second was circumstantial, her family pulled out the day she was meant to leave the shelter, she has a few health problems and she would have been put down - I felt I had to try. She is PERFECTLY behaved EXCEPT for barking. But she ONLY barks when provoked, such as a fox/cat/postman. He regularly does provoke them as the upstairs neighbour apologised about the banging and said it wasn't them and that he is doing it for some reason.

He has verbally abused the upstairs tenants - one time was for them getting a drink in the middle of the night and their footsteps woke him up. He has already had a caution from the police for his behaviour (this is what I'm told).

I bought the land registry and found the owner, he works in my profession so was able to find him on the directory and have reached out via email. He said he's happy to talk. I'll keep you updated!

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 06/05/2020 20:42

The upstairs neighbour apologised about the banging and said it wasn't them
What a strange thing to do.

OVienna · 06/05/2020 20:53

I have just read a post where someone suggested giving the rescue dog back. Can I nominate this for Classics? Incredible thread, OP, I am just sorry for you that you started it. YANBU tho.

hunghome · 06/05/2020 21:02

@OVienna to be honest it is always good when you get to join a history making thread Grin

I'm not new I just NC!

OP posts:
AmmarettoSours · 06/05/2020 21:34

YANBU
you have done nothing wrong op he sounds like a misserable fucker.
unfortunately it seems the batty neighbours of the world have descended onto your thread before the normal rational people of mn have had a chance.

Alyic · 06/05/2020 21:38

Terrible isn't it, when you find yourself living next door to a nutcase.

TitianaTitsling · 06/05/2020 21:52

"The upstairs neighbour apologised about the banging and said it wasn't them"
What a strange thing to do.
Why is that strange? If I was in this situation and one neighbour was creating merry hell I'd let the others know it wasn't me!

Thisismytimetoshine · 06/05/2020 21:55

Would you really? It would genuinely never occur to me to say "it wasn't me, honestly!!" in a situation where it wasn't me and nobody had suggested it was. Very odd.

TitianaTitsling · 06/05/2020 21:56

And @hunghome I feel that I'm reading a topsy turvy MN thread with all the bonkersness directed at you!

saraclara · 06/05/2020 22:55

It's great that you found the landlord so easily! And he's probably going to be well disposed to talking to you if you're in the same profession. So do keep us updated!

Thisismytimetoshine · 06/05/2020 22:59

How did you find the landlord's profession in the land registry?!

Mulhollandmagoo · 06/05/2020 23:36

Why is that strange? If I was in this situation and one neighbour was creating merry hell I'd let the others know it wasn't me!

Me too, so my new neighbors didn't think I was a nightmare!!!

And I'm guessing she didn't find his profession, she found his name and looked him up?? Please stop being inflammatory those posts calmed down hours ago

hunghome · 07/05/2020 09:55

@Thisismytimetoshine I googled his name, he has a business in my industry as his full name. Let's say Hung Home Business Solutions as an example (lol I've realised my name is Hung, it was originally hungry Grin) this told me his profession which is the same as mine. We have a directory for members of our institution so I looked him up, found his email and number, sent him an email and he responded confirming who he is!

Land registry told me his name and address.

OP posts:
CHIRIBAYA · 07/05/2020 10:20

I agree with another poster that you should not engage any further with this individual he sounds like a nasty piece of work. Irrespective of how he might have felt about your note it is not normal or sociable to respond with threats: threats to go to your husband's work, threats of solicitors, threats to go the papers, threats to get rid of your dog - he sounds like a veteran complainer. I think unfortunately that you are going to have to watch your back. & rubbish does grow - in size - ever seen a tip?? If he threatens to harm your dog contact the RSPCA.

Swipe left for the next trending thread