HELP - Neighbour just threatened us.

[hunghome]

Hi there, I know this isn't an entirely AIBU but is somewhat...

We moved house 6 weeks ago. Next door is a house converted into two flats, with an old man at the bottom. He has lived in there 44 years (he says) and from our understanding, rents (long term tennant).

He doesn't maintain his garden, he has trees around 20 metres high that are blocking light into our garden. We sent a note (due to Covid) asking if we could trim the trees and if he could discuss with us. We said we would pay.

Today he comes over the fence and says that we are bullies and should have knocked. I said no, because of corona and his age.

He then said our new rescue dog woke him up - she did bark at a cat this morning, it is something causing us issues and she is new (we have heard her 6 weeks also). No other neighbour minds (or says they don't anyway). He bangs on the fence etc which often provokes them.

He threatened to go to my husband's work to report him, report his story to the papers, said that if I have a baby the dog will kill it (they aren't even slightly violent). Said my dog tried to attack him (during lockdown he came to my car window and she barked at him).

I then said I didn't want to cut down the other neighbours evergreen as it is a nice tree (it is - and doesn't block light) and he said see 'did you get that' (to no one - he lives alone) and said he's recording me for his solicitor. I said I was unaware of him recording and that we will no longer speak and I shut the door and walked away.

I am shaking. What do I do?

Is there a way to find out who the landlord is without going through him?
I am scared he will try to poison the dog as he made several comments about getting rid of her.

The trees are not purposeful

What?? This tells me all I'd ever need to know about you.

They are sycamores. They not likely to have been planted on purpose which is what I assumed the OP meant.

they contacted us about something unrelated and asked if we had any issues with him. I explained and she then told me her story

Sounds like there are issues with this old man and everyone is ganging up on him. He doesnt need to cut down his trees, his reaction to your letter may be due to harrassment from other neighbours, he isnt unreasonable to complain about a dog that barks.

You all do sound like bullies sharing stories about contact him.

So what have they told you about him?

Ask the other neighbour who the landlord is. If they've had problems they will surely have it.
OP I'm going to be straight with you I'm a professional landlord and it's better you speak to the LL not the tenant. It all comes back to us anyway.
Also why are you sending notes about trees you don't want to cut immediately? It's very weird and I can see why he's annoyed.

He sounds like hes going bit off in old age to be honest!

My mum does this like as if shes "talking to her police brother" on the phone of she wants someone to leave or behaves as if shes "recording conversations" having "camera everywhere".. I believe its all empty threats and bit to do with mental health but i am not sure

I dont think he knows where your husband work or he really mean what he says, hes being extremely territorial which some old people do because they hate change 🤷🏽‍♀️

Its a bit mean to say your dog will kill your baby 😞 but again i dont think he means it

Best to ignore it. You asked nicely and he reacted, maybe when the lock down is over you can try asking again?

Do you have puddles in your garden? He’ll complain about that next.

You can trim over hanging trees on your side.
At one time, you were told to give back the cuttings, but now I think you are told not to, as in effect you are causing a litter problem, and in reality causing a problem and a lot of work for someone who was not embarking on a tree pruning. ( ie the owner of the trees)

I wouldn’t thank you for it.

Leave the old man alone, he may be a nightmare to his immediate neighbour, but now he is going to be one for you .

I think the police will advise you to leave him and the trees alone for now.

Don’t bother him further, would be my advice, and definitely don’t bring up his rental status to him.
That’s incredibly rude.

They aren't his trees, so you should really talk to his landlord about them if you must. This isn't the right time of year to trim trees anyway, so I'd leave this until the autumn.

I'd also ignore his threats as he's unlikely to follow through on them. You probably caught him out and he feels a teeny bit threatened by you making contact via a note. Some older folks do. Not your fault though.

If he's already clashed with other neighbours that would explain why he was so defensive. I'd wait a bit longer to see what the upstairs neighbours' behaviour is like before getting on their side! They might all be awful for all you know.

Googling, it seems you could pay 3 pounds to look in the property register, so it says:
www.gov.uk/search-property-information-land-registry
Maybe there's another way, though? I'm not in the UK.

He sounds like a proper old bastard. You need to keep your dog(s) quiet.

I actually think you come across very poorly here!

Think you are getting a hard time here OP . He sounds malicious.
In fairness it is a bit early in your aquaintance to be talking about the trees. Not a good start especially in view of the animosity you have described.

Poor old sod my arse. Being advanced in years doesn't absolve you of being a shitty human being. I had a neighbour a bit like this, although not as extreme, and he was pretty unpleasant. He's also the only person in seven years that my dog has ever met that she was frightened of, so I think she's a good judge of character!

I did feel bad for him in the end though as he died in his house and wasn't found for a couple of months (we had moved out by then but rented our house out and our tenants called the police when they realised they hadn't seen him in a while). But I can't help but feel if he had been a bit nicer to his neighbours (it wasn't just us/our tenants who had been crappy to), they might have looked out for him. As it was, my tenants said they had just been relieved he was keeping himself to himself until they realised his bins hadn't been going out, etc

Unfortunately, though, OP he's obviously a fixture and not going anywhere. Did the people you bought from mention any problems? I imagine not, but I wonder if that's partly why they sold! I wouldn't poke the bear – he probably has the capacity to make your life hell and if you have bought, it's not as easy as just moving. I'd pick my battles with this one.

50AvalancheKit sycamores are big trees! They can grow up to 35 metres tall and have a wide canopy.

OP, if I wanted a sunny garden, I wouldn't buy a house where the garden was overshadowed by such a large trees from a neighbouring property, as they will inevitably be an ongoing maintenance issue/problem/source of disagreement!

MN is so weird sometimes. You can guarantee that the people defending the “poor old soul” would immediately recognise him for the irascible twat he so clearly is if they had to live next door to him, but sometimes people just like to take against a poster and once they do they will happily argue black is white just to be contrary!

Good luck OP, you have my sympathy.

Ignore him! If he repeats his threats contact the Police. In the meantime try and find out who his landlord is and contact them directly because he probably doesn’t have the authority to respond to your request.

Sorry but I’d be pretty annoyed too if some new neighbours came and asked me to chop my trees. He’s probably thinks If you’re not going to hold back saying things annoying about him/ his house he won’t be quiet if you’re annoying him either. (Or the dog)

MN is so weird sometimes. You can guarantee that the people defending the “poor old soul” would immediately recognise him for the irascible twat he so clearly is if they had to live next door to him, but sometimes people just like to take against a poster and once they do they will happily argue black is white just to be contrary!

Yes, absolutely this. Sometimes it's just mob mentality I think - if the first few posts go a certain way, then you can almost guarantee that the cry will be taken up, regardless of how justified it is. There's a book by Jon Ronson that talks about this kind of 'public shaming' phenomenon that's really interesting, and I see elements of what he talks about on here quite a lot.

I can't believe how many posters are siding with this horrible man!

READ THE NOTE SHE SENT! It's perfectly pleasant, offering help, and simply asking that he's ok with her getting the trees trimmed on her side of the garden. There was absolutely nothing in that note to take offence at, and she's not suggesting taking the trees down!

The other neighbours aren't bullying him. HIs upstairs neghbour is simply sharing experiences with OP, which I think we'd all appreciate in her position.

OP, there must be ways to find out who the owner of the house is. Maybe the Land Registry? I'd definitely be getting in touch with the landlord.

I don’t get why the op is being attacked for wanting to do some work on her garden after ‘only 6 weeks living there’ Is there a respectable limit to do improvements ? I think it’s quite normal for people to do work after moving in. If the trees are hanging over the op’s garden then she is completely within her rights to cut them back but has just asked out of politeness and would have no doubt had the tree surgeon do a tidy up of the whole tree had the neighbour wanted which is by far the best option to avoid lop sided trees. It would be reasonable to assume based on the state of the garden that he hasn’t had the time or funds to get them seen to in a while and they’d no doubt benefit from some shaping.

@WiddlinDiddlin

THANK YOU for the most sensible dog post I have ever seen.
Please continue to spread the word about how to train dogs not to bark. .
Op please please continue to work on getting your second dog not to bark. I think many dog owners have no idea how much the noise of barking dogs Disturbs other people. I do know this has been discussed to death on here.

I think your request to pay for tree trimming was very reasonable and the wording of your note was very kind.

I’m not sure how you move forward with such a tricky personality.
Perhaps kill him with kindness ?

In the kindest way OP shut the damn dogs up! People's untrained noisy dogs are the cause of so many neighbour wars and the sound of someone else's noisy dog is dire.

Oh just read it’s a bloody sycamore uuurgh, I have several of these, they are such a pain, I have to remove at least 100 sapling from random spots around my garden each year, any plant pot will reveal yet another and they grow like lightning, the tree people will need to cut back by at least double what you originally thought you’d would just so they aren’t the exact same size within the season.