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AIBU?

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Original poster

HELP - Neighbour just threatened us.

176 replies

hunghome · 06/05/2020 11:30

Hi there, I know this isn't an entirely AIBU but is somewhat...

We moved house 6 weeks ago. Next door is a house converted into two flats, with an old man at the bottom. He has lived in there 44 years (he says) and from our understanding, rents (long term tennant).

He doesn't maintain his garden, he has trees around 20 metres high that are blocking light into our garden. We sent a note (due to Covid) asking if we could trim the trees and if he could discuss with us. We said we would pay.

Today he comes over the fence and says that we are bullies and should have knocked. I said no, because of corona and his age.

He then said our new rescue dog woke him up - she did bark at a cat this morning, it is something causing us issues and she is new (we have heard her 6 weeks also). No other neighbour minds (or says they don't anyway). He bangs on the fence etc which often provokes them.

He threatened to go to my husband's work to report him, report his story to the papers, said that if I have a baby the dog will kill it (they aren't even slightly violent). Said my dog tried to attack him (during lockdown he came to my car window and she barked at him).

I then said I didn't want to cut down the other neighbours evergreen as it is a nice tree (it is - and doesn't block light) and he said see 'did you get that' (to no one - he lives alone) and said he's recording me for his solicitor. I said I was unaware of him recording and that we will no longer speak and I shut the door and walked away.

I am shaking. What do I do?

Is there a way to find out who the landlord is without going through him?
I am scared he will try to poison the dog as he made several comments about getting rid of her.

OP posts:
Inkpaperstars · 06/05/2020 12:39

I agree that if the trees were an issue, you should have checked this out before moving in, but also I think any discussion like that has to be with the landlord. I don't think this neighbour is able to give any permission regarding things like that.

For no unless the trees are dangerous leave that, it seems like there are enough issues. This neighbour, while he may have a point about the trees, has obviously reacted in a worrying and abnormal way. Maybe it is dementia, maybe he has always been like this, but I'd proceed with caution.

Original poster
hunghome · 06/05/2020 12:39

@ambereeree we don't know who the landlord is!

@unravellingslowly the police aren't going to knock on his door. I specified that. they are coming to only speak to me.

He also had a go at me for having my own car when we only need one. DH has one for work, I am the carer to my terminally ill parents so need my own.

The previous owner had a dog too, the other side of him has a barking dog and there is another neighbour with a loud dog who is always barking that he is probably confusing our dog for some of the time. This dog sometimes sets off ours and we can't predict when it will happen as it's often at nighttime.

OP posts:
maria860 · 06/05/2020 12:39

I'm with OP he sounds quite mean yeah ok the trees but it's no skin off his nose if you cut your side of the fence and he still has his trees on his side.
Wish people would stop thinking all elderly people are nice my mom lived next door to the neighbour from hell he was was about 70 and he was just a nasty piece of flipping work he moaned about everything where I parked the grandkids being in the garden my moms tiny little dog that hardly made a sound. One day he threw a metal garden chair over the fence because my two toddlers were in the paddling pool nearly killed my kids missed them by an inch we had to get the police.
When the police came he got his gun out and threatened to shoot my brother in the street they had to get armed police lol it's ludicrous now thinking about it he had a lovely house and garden etc but was a vile person I don't care if their old doesn't mean their nice people they were probably horrible when they were young Aswell!
OP tell the police he threatened the dog he sounds quite horrible your fully entitled to cut your side of the bush if it's hanging over I've done it in the back when all these creeper plants covered in spiders grew all over my fence why wouldn't I ?
Keep your eye on him as it will probably get more nasty over time. I've got elderly neighbours either side now and their great

WeAllHaveWings · 06/05/2020 12:40

I can see he threatened to contact a solicitor for you harassing him. He is allowed to do this if he feels harassed in his home. Has he directly threatened to hurt the dog?

Really the height of the trees you cannot complain about, they were there when you bought the house, you can trim overhanging branches outside of nesting season.

What was the point of saying the other neighbours tree 'is nice' other than to upset him?

Your dog woke him, that is unacceptable. You cant have a barky dog in flats, you need to sort that urgently.

Sounds like your relationship has broken down with him extremely quickly. I would work on fixing that.

Thisismytimetoshine · 06/05/2020 12:40

Your neighbours contacted you on Facebook to say their downstairs neighbours harasses them; as soon as you moved in (during a lockdown, at that)?!
I've lived on my street for 15 years and I wouldn't know how to contact a single soul on Facebook.

Original poster
hunghome · 06/05/2020 12:41

@GabriellaMontez please read properly.

I was in my car with my dog parked outside my house. He came onto the property and knocked on my car window and the dog barked at him (OBVIOUSLY).

I have two dogs. One is perfectly well behaved.
The other is new and barks reactionary to postmen and people who enter her territory. She barked at him when he went over our fence.

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 06/05/2020 12:42

And he knows where your husband works? How?!

Original poster
hunghome · 06/05/2020 12:44

@WeAllHaveWings we do not live in a flat. we own the semi-detached house next door.

This is the first occasion she has barked in the morning (6am) but he hits the fence and his porch for some reason and she barks at that usually if he does it.

The upstairs to him contacted me as there is a facebook group for the road, everyone else is lovely, they contacted us about something unrelated and asked if we had any issues with him. I explained and she then told me her story.

OP posts:
Devlesko · 06/05/2020 12:44

If it blocks out light you can report to the council, if they are too high the landlord will be given notice to get them chopped.
if they don't the council will do it and charge.
happened to our neighbour, nobody reported that I kew of, they were behind our property and didn't pose a problem.

Footywife · 06/05/2020 12:44

I'd be really interested to hear the old chaps side of this story...

SoupDragon · 06/05/2020 12:44

Also he does not own the property.

Then why are you asking him if you can cut the trees? He can't give you permission.

Does his upstairs Neighbour rent? It might be the same landlord.

WeAllHaveWings · 06/05/2020 12:45

The trees are not purposeful

All trees are 'purposeful'. If they are in his garden it is none of your business what 'use' they are. He might just like them. Trim the over hanging branches outside of nesting season and leave him alone.

vodkaredbullgirl · 06/05/2020 12:45

What is it with neighbourhood facebooks groups???? I keep myself to myself.

TheCanterburyWhales · 06/05/2020 12:46

Anything more to dripfeed?
You and his other neighbours sending messages to each other about him on FB? You move in with two dogs and ask him to sort his trees out straightaway, send him notes instead of talking to him and tell us he's a tenant as if that makes it OK?
I hope he does have a solicitor because it sounds like he's the one being harassed.

TheCanterburyWhales · 06/05/2020 12:47

Could argue your yappy dog isn't purposeful. And I'm a dog lover.

Atalune · 06/05/2020 12:47

Sounds like he’s a bit batty!

I think just leave it all for now.

TheCanterburyWhales · 06/05/2020 12:48

So the entire FB group is bullying him?
You sound like you fit right in with them OP.
Poor old sod.

SoupDragon · 06/05/2020 12:49

send him notes instead of talking to him

A note and the OP says it was because of Covid-19.

Truthpact · 06/05/2020 12:49

We did buy the property knowing about the trees, however they have grown significantly over our side.

In 6 weeks they've grown that much? Did he plant them using magic beans?

Your dog barks a lot from the sound of it, why did you buy a dog while moving house? It's stressful enough for a dog to integrate into a new family, you added on moving hassle too?

Maybe he is nuts, but we are only getting your side and there are parts where you are unreasonable too. You shouldn't have gone over asking to cut the trees so soon, how was he to know you meant later in the future? For all he knew, you'd have someone round the next day chopping them down.

AvalancheKit · 06/05/2020 12:50

20 metres??

Picklypickles · 06/05/2020 12:50

So this man is surrounded by neighbours who all have noisy barking dogs? I'd be pretty fucking grumpy too, just one is bad enough.

opticaldelusion · 06/05/2020 12:50

You don't really sound like the type to compromise or consider someone else's point of view, OP. TBH, I'd be pissed off if someone moved in and immediately put a pass-agg note through my door about my beautiful trees and had a shitty barky dog.

vodkaredbullgirl · 06/05/2020 12:51

Do you also talk about macdonalds and someone shout ball sack?

(rented V owned house)

ravenmum · 06/05/2020 12:52

It's springtime, of course they look bigger than they did 6 weeks ago :)

a good high street solicitor would work wonders here
How do you mean? What would the solicitor do?

SoupDragon · 06/05/2020 12:52

Poor old sod.

Yeah, poor old sod having to threaten the get rid of the dog when the OP isn't looking and threatening to go to her DH' workplace or "report" him. Poor old sod secretly recording their conversation.

🙄