Neighbours son with autism and all-day verbal stimming.

[MonkeyJunk]

I know I am being unreasonable, but I am also slightly losing my mind.

Our neighbour has a son who has autism and who screams as part of this (I believe). He spends each day from around 7am until darkness in the garden doing this, and I think he does it when he is inside as well. Unfortunately any movement (us, children, animals) seems to be a trigger.

He does also do this in the house but because of the way our houses are designed and because they are the end of terrace house we cannot hear it (and nobody else can).

I get it is really, really, really shit for her, but it is now becoming relentless. All day, every day when the weather is good - it means our home is not very peaceful at all and we cannot enjoy our garden at all (he seems to go into a much more shrill scream when there's movement in our garden). We've stopped feeding the birds and are letting the dog out the front yard when it needs to go out.

I know lockdown is tough, and the mother must be finding it very difficult, but it's having a huge impact on us and our family life - particularly not being able to enjoy our garden, being woken up and the kids struggling to sleep at night (we've now moved them into the front bedroom to try and minimise this).

WIBU to ask if her son can please be inside by seven pm and for some hours during the day so we can go into and enjoy our garden?

He is not harassing the OP and her family, there is no intent there. The stimming is a characteristic of his disability and there is no such thing as being maliciously disabled.

It is against the law to play music at a level that causes distress to others, no matter what time of day, particularly when that music is being persistently played in order to harrass another person.

No disabled child is not doing it deliberately so they are not harassing anyone.
It is also not against the law for this child to be in his own garden.

Have a little google and try to evolve a little, you are really wrong here.

Everyone needs to stop engaging in any way with @SugarOrSweetenerWithTheTea

They are clearly an ableist bigot; MN should ban.

Don't talk crap.,Sugar to harass someone you would have to have to have the cognitive ability to understand your actions 🙄

Out of interest Sugar, has ANY disabled person EVER impinged on your life?

Do you know any disabled people?

www.gov.uk/discrimination-your-rights/how-you-can-be-discriminated-against

Would you think ,it was acceptable to be this offensive to someone who is a different ethnicity to you ,or has a different sexuality Suger?

Sounds unusual. How awful that it’s taught you it’s ok to hurt the person next to you.

Thanks for the reports about this thread.

We've already deleted a number of posts that we felt broke our Talk Guidelines. Many of these deletions have been for disablist posts.

Do take a look at our This Is My Child Campaign especially the Myths about Special needs and consider the challenges many parents of children with disabilities, or who have disabilities themselves, face on a daily basis.

Mumsnet exists to make parent's lives easier and if there's one thing we could all do with, it's some understanding and moral support.

Welk. first of all.The autism spectrum is huge ,and some body with Aspergers probably would be able to understand that they shouldn't hit someone as they wouldn't have severe mental impairment unlike those with severe autism and learning disabilities wether they are able to control their emotions.is a different matter ,sounds like the school didn't make reasonable adjustment,s to keep everyone safe

I do often wonder how people imagine it feels to read this vomit about disability and particularly disabled children if you have a child who’s disabled. Do they go blithely on with their days knowing they’ve made someone else that little bit sadder and lonelier and more isolated? How do you live like that?

My children are inclusive, not doormats.

I hope they go to a good school, I really do.

Where is the law saying you have to tiptoe around other people

There are quite a few laws protecting disabled children from harassment and malicious behaviour. Who'd have thought?

for the parents of ASD kids this bank holiday weekend. I hope your children have a lovely time enjoying their gardens.

I hope the OP gets a chance for a quiet in hers, too.

I doubt they care tbh @itisbetter it's like they don't think children in adults with disabilities matter and they should be locked away somewhere ,so as not to bother society.

Don,t matter

Please don’t infer from my earlier post that I’m advocating locking kids up. My thought is that because of the legacy of ‘care in the community’ there seems to be not much respite on offer for parents or neighbours. My mother was a special needs teacher as it would have been called then and I know how exhausting that could be. Living with some of these young people must be gruelling in the extreme, particularly at the moment. Right that’s my third and last post on this thread. Good luck OP.

Pretty sure it's ritalin they don't give their child, I don't recall them talking about melatonin but it's possibly that as well.
The child is at mainstream school and I'm pretty sure they could take medication if they wanted to. Has friendships with nt kids etc, is not unpopular, enjoys hobbies out of the home.
the behaviour is much more ramped up at home than anywhere else and from what I can see the parents have less understanding of autism (or in fact of any diversity) than a lot of people .
Having a child with disabilities doesn't automatically turn someone into the mother Teresa of parenting.

I didn't go to my friend's often when she lived there as she hated having people around and couldn't use her garden as she always ended up falling out with the neighbour. It wasn't just related to this child , there were many ways their parenting fell short and they in fact had been moved out of their previous address due to anti social behaviour.

The parents maywell be shit parents ,but seriously how would you force a child to take medication the child doesn't want to take?And I doubt the parents want to listen to their child scream all day and night however crap they might be .

I'm a bit confused by the deletions. Are people saying OP's children shouldn't play music or make a noise outside and it's somehow a hate crime?

I've probably missed the point but surely all children can make a noise in their own gardens NT or non NT. Obviously no one should do something deliberately nasty but normal playing has to be ok.

Living with some of these young people must be gruelling in the extreme, particularly at the moment Training for the olympics is gruelling, having triplets is gruelling, competing in master chef is gruelling....but all also amazing and life fulfilling as is my son who sometimes has vocal tics but is always loved and wanted.

@LemonPudding no it was horrid and better disappeared

Absolutely @Itisbetter

@Itisbetter

@LemonPudding no it was horrid and better disappeared

Thanks for clearing that up.

Can't believe this thread is still going on. A lot of people simply don't understand how hard it is.

But, I'm not surprised. During this lockdown Mumsnet has became an absolute cesspit. I'm over it.

Anyone who has a child with a disability: don't give a fuck what others think. Do what makes your life easier. Go out 8 times a day if you need to. Anyone who judges you isn't worth thinking about. Curtain twitching bastards.