To desperately want one more child that I can’t afford?

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I posted recently about our financial situation. Sorry, I’m not sure how to link the other thread.

I have two lovely DC which I am so grateful for. They are 6 and almost 4. I am 31.

Just to summarise, we have £1,500 credit card debt. A £15,000 loan which was mainly to purchase a car (we need 7 seats for reasons which are pretty outing). We have £1,400 in savings (some in a help to buy ISA, the rest in an instant access savings account).
I have just completed my studies and was hoping to find a job soon which is now unlikely. We don’t own our own home.

The thing is, I so desperately want to have another child. I know there are many people who could only dream of having 2 children so I do feel very selfish for feeling this way. I just know I have that love to give to another child, and a happy home which I wasn’t fortunate enough to have myself growing up.

I know I probably am BU, but has anyone else felt this way/been in this position?

I don't think it is @Poetryinaction (I'm the second of 5).

Give your love to your existing children.

You are only 31, you have time.

Pay off our debts first and get a job - not saying this to be harsh but it's not advisable to be in a financial mess with any kids let alone 3.

If home ownership is important to you, it will become even more difficult to achieve the more children you have. Mortgages are harder to get the more dependents you have, and you will need a bigger home to accommodate them tooZ

Why don’t you wait a few years and see how your finances are?

Yes, this was me, for a long time. I got over it, more or less, eventually and economically it was so the right decision for us.

Still can't afford a third but it's the best thing we ever did - for everybody. I look back and think yikes what if we hadn't had her! Every day is a joy.

I wanted a third, but there was just no practical way we could do it. We had a tiny two bed house and could not afford to even consider moving. By the time we could afford to move and we were settled in our new house dd2 was 7 and I was over the longing for number 3.

I don’t think your finances are completely prohibitive to having a third. As long as you can afford to still make the payments on your debts while on mat leave and your house is big enough for a third, it isn’t a massive issue to me. We couldn’t afford either dd when we had them, but we managed and now they are teens and we have a good standard of living.

If you think you can manage them I’d go for it.

If you want a third than use the time now to financially plan for a third.

I hear what you are saying OP, but perhaps rather than thinking about being able to ‘afford’ a child, what you could do is think about what you can do to provide long term security for your family.

Seeing as you have just completed your studies, perhaps it would be wise to get your foot in the door in your chosen profession before you try to conceive. Once in a permanent role, you would then be entitled to maternity leave.

Even if you got some temporary work in your chosen field and were not entitled to Maternity leave, you would still have the experience on your CV.

Jobs may not be available right now, but in a matter of months, things will likely change.

YABU the needs of existing children should always come before the wants of another child.

Why don’t you want to start working? If you’ve just completed studying, you should be looking forward to putting it into practice. Get a job, clear your debts and then start saving for maternity leave. You’ve got plenty of time.

Also can’t imagine any reason for owning a 7 seater that are outing? Would be an idea to sell the car, buy something clearer and reduce your debt.