To think my boss can't force me to send my kids to school

[Turquoisetamborine]

Both myself and H are in vulnerable groups. H especially as he has stage 4 kidney failure. He has been going to work in a separate entrance to his enclosed office and not coming into contact with anyone. He does need to attend his office though as he's a key worker.

We have two kids of just turned 5 and 12.

I work three days a week from home for a public office so no chance of being furloughed. My boss has informed me that if I don't put my kids in school she will place me on unpaid leave.

I'd been managing at home to do work before they got up and during the day when they watched telly. Not to my full capacity admittedly but doing my bit and we have barely any work to do at the moment anyway. We are doing non essential tasks like learning and reading guidance.

She's saying it isn't good enough that I'm trying to do both and she's paying me to sit at home and do nothing. She's not paying me actually as we are civil servants and I am quite willing to work from home on jobs which don't require a huge amount of concentration. I can do my normal job no problem as I've been doing it so long and know it inside out. Now she's given me a choice, go on unpaid leave or put kids in school.

Headteacher says kids should be at home unless parents are actually out at work such as teachers, nurses etc. and that they should only be coming to school due to an emergency situation.

Can she force me to send them when I'm at home willing to care for them?

@dontdisturbmenow
It's no good telling op to 'put her child/ren in school' as an integral part of the problem is she doesn't want to do that as both her, and her husband in particular are deemed vulnerable
Noone is telling her she has toput the kids in school. What she's been told is find ways to work on the dissertation, be it eveninfs and weeksends or take parental leave, both reasonable expectations.

Er... the title of this thread is To think my boss can't force me to send my kids to school. That sounds to me that someone is telling her that she has to put the kids in school.

If it were me I'd say, I'll work on my qualification at home. I'd spend some time in the day, evenings and weekends completing it.

I would speak to HR and see what they have to say . Your boss sounds unreasonable really .We are being instructed not to send DC to School if one person can work from home ,She is being very unsupportive here .If you dont need further qualifications to do your job the whats her issue .Do you normally get on well with her ,can you have another try and see if she will come round at all .If Schools re open part time in June ,then you can have a few days in the week where you can go to work .We cannot reasonably expect Schools to stay closed indefinitely!

Hold on- am I reading right from other posters that civil service employees in some departments are being given extra, fully paid leave to look after kids??? If that’s the case I’m genuinely shocked. People in the private sector are having to cut their hours, juggle home and work responsibilities, work late into the night, or use all their holiday to look after kids, but public sector are given extra paid leave to do it, at the expense of tax payers, at a time of national crisis and possibly the biggest recession in living memory????

@Artesia so you mean just like those in the private sector who have been furloughed due to childcare responsibilities. They are receiving 80% for ‘doing nothing’ except childcare yet op is receiving 100% for doing a fair amount of work plus childcare. I assume you will be complaining about those who have been furloughed?

I think your boss is being unreasonable. These aren't normal times and you will unfortunately see that in a crisis, it really does bring out the worst in some people.

She cannot force your children to go into school. Like most of us, you are doing a great job trying to juggle both home and work at the moment in difficult times.

There is someone like this at my work who just thinks that things should carry on just the same and it is clear she doesn't like people wfh. I don't understand why people can't show empathy and put themselves in other people's shoes.

I wasn’t talking about the OP, who is still working. I was asking about people being paid in full and not working at all, which clearly isn’t the case for OP. And it’s 20% more than furloughed workers are getting.

Loads of posters have missed this:

She told me I would have to start working on a professional qualification within working hours at home.

so all the advice about working when the kids are in bed or when her DH gets home, is useless. She has been told that she has to do this work in office hours. And that's one of the most unreasonable elements of what this manager is expecting.

Working office hours is all very well when your job involves meetings and needing to be available for others. But I can see no reason why studying for this qualification has to be done in office hours. The manager is being deliberately awkward.

If your youngest is being assessed for autism he maybe able To attend school as a child who needs extra support - is the head aware he may have additional needs?

I agree with pp - you are both very unlucky - ignore all the self righteous posters telling you to get back to the office - are they living in another reality to the rest of us?

^This. My DH is in a similar boat to you. He has asthma so is vulnerable, and has to look after our DDs (11 and 8), who are adopted and have attachment issues, and DD1 also has SEN. He's also WFH; he has a key role in the Highways department at the Council offices, and his immediate manager is about to leave, whereupon he will be the senior manager of his department.

In addition, I've been coping with COVID-19 symptoms so I'm able to offer very little support, though I am able to intervene sometimes when the girls have arguments (which happens a lot!).

We also can't send our DDs to school, and it means that we're doing our best to cope. My DH goes into his office at home and works whilst leaving our DDs to watch TV and play roblox with friends. My DH does manage them to do a little schoolwork, but we're having to accept that proper homeschooling isn't possible for us.

It sounds like your boss is being unreasonable, as you've asked for your 5 year old to be able to go to school and the headteacher has said no.

@Artesia OP has been told she'll be put on UNpaid leave, not paid leave.

op has stated the school WON'T take her younger dc BECAUSE he has sen (?) or because they simply don't unless you are a key worker
SO if you are not a member of a union -join one
Contact autism society or have a look on their website ditto carers associations about issues with carer's difficulty with working & the carers rights also talk to the university to see what they can suggest (ie extending course length)
check on your hr info of your sector/work/area on what happens with carers & if they have up to date corona advice on carers
please note her disabled/sick dh doesn't have the energy to help after work
So is she not entitled to special parental leave or adaptions to her work hours/conditions because she is a carer
also her husbands situation as shielded he is working in sheltered conditions at work - if she & her dc go back to work/school they become a risk to her husband

Ooops. Sorry @Artesia, it was @MadinMarch that I should have addressed with my: "OP has been told she'll be put on UNpaid leave, not paid leave."

@saraclara - yes, I’m well aware of that. As I’ve said more than once, I wasn’t talking about the OP. I’m asking about civil service policy generally

Working office hours is all very well when your job involves meetings and needing to be available for others. But I can see no reason why studying for this qualification has to be done in office hours. The manager is being deliberately awkward.

To be fair though, I don’t think it’d go over well with my boss if I told her that I had more important things to do in my working hours but expected full pay nonetheless.

Gah- just seen your second post @saraclara!!!

@Artesia so you would support those in CS being paid 80% if they can’t work at all due to childcare responsibilities? It’s funny, your initial post didn’t read like that . It read more like you thought those in CS shouldn’t get fuck all if they can’t work because of childcare responsibilities

Sorry I haven’t read full post so probably already covered; if you are vulnerable and have received a shielding letter from the NHS then they should not make you go to work or go on unpaid leave. It’s either sick pay or furlough based on Government guidelines. Where your kids are is irrelevant to that!

If you are in a vulnerable group, then you're in a vulnerable group and stay at home. Get a doctor's letter to show your boss.

Just to say I mean if you can’t work from home - which is what your boss is saying. If you could work from home that’s fine!

I do think a lot of companies will be hardening their attitudes on people WFH but expecting to work fewer hours for the same pay.
This may be morally wrong but legally it is probably ok

We’ve all been told by the Government that if you are able to work from home, that’s what you should be doing.

I can WFH full time, but also have my two children at home. As does everybody!

I am a key worker but both schools have said they won’t accept my children as both parents have to be key workers and working out of the home for them to attend. So they can’t go to school.

I work for local government and no option to be furloughed. I have asked for leave but my job needs to be done and it has been refused.

So what exactly are you meant to do, other than juggle as best you can between getting your work done and supervising/parenting/educating your kids?! I’d love to know. Surely the vast majority of the country are in the same boat, with kids at home?

I do think a lot of companies will be hardening their attitudes on people WFH but expecting to work fewer hours for the same pay.

They can harden their attitudes all they like, but until schools re-open for everyone, what choice is there?

Hold on- am I reading right from other posters that civil service employees in some departments are being given extra, fully paid leave to look after kids?

Why not? It is exactly what many private sector companies including mine are doing. These are exceptional circumstances and my people are valuable and like the OP they are still working. We are doing what we can to help our staff juggle, including additional days of paid carer leave on top of the standard amount.

Unless you see your staff as some kind of cheap, disposable and easily replaceable commodity its the smartest thing to do from a business perspective.

That sounds to me that someone is telling her that she has to put the kids in school
No, that's OP chose to interpret it. She later said that she was offered to take parental leave so clearly not forced.

She told me I would have to start working on a professional qualification within working hours at home
Within WORKING HOURS not OFFICE WORKING HOURS. That's different. Working hours meaning within the 37h she is paid. She also START to work, not finish it.

All very reasonable request. That OP doesn't like them is another matter.

The problem with the keyworkers' kids going to school is that the schools don't want them unless it is a last resort!!! I had this problem too as my boss said DD should be at school but HT kept putting messages out begging us not to send kids in unless absolutely no other choice. Too much of a grey area so not fair on anyone.