To think my boss can't force me to send my kids to school

[Turquoisetamborine]

Both myself and H are in vulnerable groups. H especially as he has stage 4 kidney failure. He has been going to work in a separate entrance to his enclosed office and not coming into contact with anyone. He does need to attend his office though as he's a key worker.

We have two kids of just turned 5 and 12.

I work three days a week from home for a public office so no chance of being furloughed. My boss has informed me that if I don't put my kids in school she will place me on unpaid leave.

I'd been managing at home to do work before they got up and during the day when they watched telly. Not to my full capacity admittedly but doing my bit and we have barely any work to do at the moment anyway. We are doing non essential tasks like learning and reading guidance.

She's saying it isn't good enough that I'm trying to do both and she's paying me to sit at home and do nothing. She's not paying me actually as we are civil servants and I am quite willing to work from home on jobs which don't require a huge amount of concentration. I can do my normal job no problem as I've been doing it so long and know it inside out. Now she's given me a choice, go on unpaid leave or put kids in school.

Headteacher says kids should be at home unless parents are actually out at work such as teachers, nurses etc. and that they should only be coming to school due to an emergency situation.

Can she force me to send them when I'm at home willing to care for them?

Is it likely to affect your progression going forwards if you butt heads with your boss, OP?

It’s tough. Nobody wants to put up with shit, but I’ve previously butted heads with bosses on matters of principle and most times I’ve concluded later that it did me no favours career wise and likely affected my prospects long after the original frustration would’ve passed.

I had a similar one recently where I was having to work my full shift whilst others were leaving two hours early on same pay due to work being quiet due to covid situation. However, I concluded that it was a privilege for them to go early and not my right to join them (although if they’d helped me we all could’ve gone early).

I’m amazed at how many negative replies there are here. Your boss is being unreasonable. These times require compassion, empathy and flexibility.

If you’re keeping on top of work then that should be enough. The expectation to do non essential extras or be fully productive all the time isn’t on.

Just a bit of an update. I can't go into too much detail for privacy reasons but let's just say I now have a new manager who I'm very pleased with. It looks like I will be able to keep both kids at home and carry on as I have been doing as much work as I can. Including being allowed time for my health and safety and other duties. I will have no additional pressure put on me and will be supported when needed.
I'll also have yesterday wiped from my sick record.
I'm very very happy and so glad I'm a member of my union.

That’s great news!

About promotion prospects, I don't think I would want to go for the next grade up in my current department so I will be waiting until the kids are older before looking for promotion. So I don't think the current situation will do me any harm. I would miss my customers too much to leave them anyway.
Now I don't know whether to go ahead with the grievance or not.

Your boss is being absolutely unreasonable. Not inflexible and twattish.
Power tripping officious wanker.

Glad you have a solution.
I was going to say that it sounds like your husband needs to be furloughed or off sick.
Also, with his health, it is really unfair to expect your kids to be in school and possibly bringing the virus home.
And finally, your former boss was extremely unreasonable to insist you study in office hours. I think if you had laid all your cards on the table

• school is not an option
• I am happy to study in the evenings etc

you might have reached a solution. But it sounds like your former boss WBU and you are in a better position now. It sounds stressful.with your husband's health. Please prioritise the wellbeing of your family as much as possible.

I just know he's something like 19% function

For reassurance, my mum didn't start dialysis until her kidney function was well below 10% in the one kidney that was still working. She went for years with it around 9-10% before dialysis was actually needed. Unless his function is declining fast he could still have years before he needs to start dialysis.

Thanks I thought dialysis started at around 15% function. It was a shock diagnosis a couple of years ago after his blood pressure was found to be dangerously high. We are no experts in it.
Still waiting to see if the kids have it too as it's known to be genetic the kind he has.

Glad the situation is sorted @Turquoisetamborine From what you've said I think it would be good if you could pursue the grievance, especially as you've said others also have issues. They're not the nicest thing to go through so I could understand if you want to drop it though.

Hope your husband manages to maintain his kidney function for a while. I have PKD so know what it's like to worry about it, fortunately my function is stable at the moment.

That's great news to hear you have a new manager!
Carry on with the grievance- your old manager would benefit from some additional training and /or more supervision as a manager.

Good result OP.

Don’t go ahead with the grievance, it’s sorted now. It will take ages and be a huge drain on your energy and you are unlikely to get an outcome you are satisfied with.

Just leave it.

I wouldn’t bother with the grievance unless the Union recommend carrying on. Your manager isn’t your problem anymore and you don’t need the stress.

I wouldn't bother with the grievance unless it's a group thing and your input is needed. Grievances are energy draining and time consuming for all involved and it sounds as if your workplace have got the measure of your ex boss. It might be possible to get your point across in a less demanding way in the future through providing feedback for her performance review, but for now I'd focus on getting your life back into kilter.

Great result by the way - sounds like a seriously impressive union and management team.

Good result!
I'd drop the grievance unless it's a group thing. Why waste energy and stress on it if you don't need to.

Thanks. I'm going to think about the grievance over the weekend. I've heard through the grapevine that the senior manager dealing with the situation very much has the measure of her and I've also no doubt that she's left a long trail of similar situations to mine in the past.

I do have to work with her unfortunately so I might have to leave it.

Your boss doesn't sound v.supportive or reasonable op. Is there anyone else in the company you can talk to about this? Or HR?

My legal opinion on this situation would be that you must either send your children to school or have OH look after them exclusively during work hours. If not, your employer has the right to either place you on unpaid leave or to request that you stop working from home and come into the office.
Whilst it's not particularly sympathetic, your employer is under no obligation to pay you for time when you're not working and you're looking after your children - even if that time is just one minute.

@sonnyrobes
Did you read the thread at all? you really shouldn't go about giving 'legal opinions' unless you've read it and fully comprehended the salient issues.

Sonny, that is highly unlikely to be the in line with the policy of the civil service.

@Turquoisetamborine You have a favourable outcome that is sustainable. In effect, resolution.

In my experience, grievance procedures are there to turn issues without informal local resolution around, they are intensive to resource & to manage the process correctly. If it is to be done, it needs to be done well.

It is a process not to be undertaken lightly.

Given that your situation is as good as resolved, I suggest that you do not instigate a grievance yourself, nor participate in a group type ‘action’.

Does taking out a grievance affect your record? Grievances without merit, yes they do.

Great news OP.

It sounds like your boss in on a solo run which would never be sanctioned by hr. do you have divisional meetings? What grade is she - I think you need to go over her head.

Whoops, guilty of not reading the whole thread. So glad it was sorted. Should never have been allowed to happen in the first place. Workplace bullies should be dealt with swiftly