To think my boss can't force me to send my kids to school

[Turquoisetamborine]

Both myself and H are in vulnerable groups. H especially as he has stage 4 kidney failure. He has been going to work in a separate entrance to his enclosed office and not coming into contact with anyone. He does need to attend his office though as he's a key worker.

We have two kids of just turned 5 and 12.

I work three days a week from home for a public office so no chance of being furloughed. My boss has informed me that if I don't put my kids in school she will place me on unpaid leave.

I'd been managing at home to do work before they got up and during the day when they watched telly. Not to my full capacity admittedly but doing my bit and we have barely any work to do at the moment anyway. We are doing non essential tasks like learning and reading guidance.

She's saying it isn't good enough that I'm trying to do both and she's paying me to sit at home and do nothing. She's not paying me actually as we are civil servants and I am quite willing to work from home on jobs which don't require a huge amount of concentration. I can do my normal job no problem as I've been doing it so long and know it inside out. Now she's given me a choice, go on unpaid leave or put kids in school.

Headteacher says kids should be at home unless parents are actually out at work such as teachers, nurses etc. and that they should only be coming to school due to an emergency situation.

Can she force me to send them when I'm at home willing to care for them?

I think you're being given a hard time here. Just like everyone else, you're doing your best in an unprecedented situation. It sounds like you're on top of your work and that your boss is being pretty difficult. Why does she want you to do this qualification? Will it be useful in your work? Does she and your other colleagues have children at home and how are they being treated?

What do you think the solution is then OP?

It sounds like you want them to continue to pay your salary while you stay at home with your children not really contributing to your work at all?

My work is gonna be expecting people to send kids where possible as need full time workers. If you cannot work full time - need to take unpaid to sit kids if there was another option.

Can you just send the younger one then?

OP, are all your colleagues being asked to complete a course to fill the time they would normally be working?

I don’t think you can expect your company to pay you to work at home when you say you are too tired and stressed to work. They are not a charity.

If your children fight together then get your husband to take the 5 yo to work with him and you stay at home with the 12 year old.

Or as a Pp said, apply for unpaid leave and address your tiredness and stress.

I think the difficulty your boss has is that you are not working from home. You are childminding and fitting in work around the edges.

You cannot expect to be paid when you aren't doing the work. Ask for unpaid leave, maybe?

Or why don’t you work in the evenings and weekends when your husband is around to look after the children ? You say you work 3 days a week, so I assume about 24 hours max. That’s easy over the weekend and evenings .

By your own admission, you are too tired and stressed to undertake the course they want you to, and therefore aren’t able to do the work they currently want you to do from home with your two children. It is unreasonable to expect them to pay you to be at home doing nothing.
While they can’t force you to send the children to school, if your output is not what they expect WFH then they can insist you return (you aren’t shielding and whether that was reasonable would largely depend on your vulnerability - there are a huge cohort of vulnerable people and a number are continuing to work as usual)

If you can't be placed on furlough and can't do the work required then what alternative does she have but to ask you to take unpaid or parental leave?

You can't just continue to be employed and paid and yet not do the work that's needed.

My kids can't go to work with my husband. His company do not allow kids on site as jt would be dangerous.

My colleagues who are in the office are not expected to do courses when there is no work. They are doing housekeeping tasks and small jobs around the office. We are all willing and able to do our normal work when it comes in but there are too many staff for the small amount of work coming in at present.

I think the solution is for me to work on the qualification as much as possible. Do the reading and research needed but not have the pressure on me to do the written work at present. It is not a necessary qualification for my job. I already have higher qualifications. It's something she thought of to fill my time until work picks up again. I will ask my H to request to finish early a couple of days a week so I can focus on the qualification as best I can if that's the work she wants me to do.

Im tired and stressed because of the pressure from my boss. Not because of anything else. I'm on the verge of going off sick because of it.

Your post is completely contradictory. I'm struggling to understand.

You say there's hardly any work to do. For your actual job. So, are you completing all of it? If so, What are her grounds for complaint?

I don't think she's got much grounds. HR wise.
Unless there's something you're not telling us.

The qualification is different. It's poor you haven't done much. Why don't you ask for some zoom calls with a tutor? How much have you actually completed/written, so far? 20%? Can you prove how much you have done?

I have a difficult 1st son, and an easy 2nd, so I do understand.

Write again to Head of school. When she refuses you can forward on your email to your boss and it will provide very good evidence for you to claim that there is nothing you can do.

I think the difficulty your boss has is that you are not working from home. You are childminding and fitting in work around the edges.

^This

As there is less regular work your manager has decided that this is a good time to start a professional qualification. This is not unreasonable.

Are you not able to work on this qualification when your DH gets home and can supervise the DCs?

YANBU. It's extremely difficult to do any work from home, let alone studying/dissertation type work with a 5 year old to take care of. Plus you have an another child to care for too.

I'm surprised by some of the other posters comments. Perhaps they have children who are easier to handle. Children come in all shapes and sizes!

Then discuss with your boss the delaying of your qualification. Till next year?

Or easing the pressure of completing it. You can negotiate that 40% or 50% will be completed by x date.

Ultimately you can have to either have your children looked after by someone else or have to return to work if possible or quit
WFH while doing childcare is normally a complete no
It has been allowed under the present circumstances but most employers will look for a return to the norm sooner or later
Could you cut your hours

You can only send your kids to school if you are a key worker.

England guidance is here - www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-maintaining-educational-provision/guidance-for-schools-colleges-and-local-authorities-on-maintaining-educational-provision.

It does not sound like your job is critical to the running of the country.

Friends who are in civil service have been able to take paid special leave ( ive been jealous) and overall their departments seem to be very supportive and have very clear organisational wide policies. Are you in small government department with no central guidance about this?

If your DH is going to an office with no contact with anyone else can he not wfh and help out?

What sort of Qualification ? Many might give their right arm to be offered an accountancy or HR qualification, atm.

I could do some work in the evenings on the qualification if that's agreeable to her. My H is actually very ill and basically is ready to go to bed when he comes in as working takes everything out of him. His kidney function has fallen so much that when this is over he should be put on dialysis. Because of this I do almost everything else.

Im glad I asked on aibu as I can now see the other point of view. I will try to do more work on the qualification and that should hopefully get her off my back a bit.

People asking about our normal work and whether I'm keeping up with it. I'm keeping up with it fine. I'm more or less finished everything I can do with it within a couple of hours though. It can all be done online so it's easy to sit next to the kids while they watch the telly and I can be on my laptop. I am completely pulling my weight with my own work.

You can't work from home effectively because of distractions. You don't want to physically go to work because you feel vulnerable. Your employer wants you to do your job and has quite reasonably suggested that this can be achieved by sending your children to school. You're not prepared to do this. I think you should take unpaid leave. This will have to be long term as a vaccine is some way off and you're perceived level of risk will not change anytime soon.

Your boss can’t force you to send your dc to school but they do have the right to expect you to work. I have sympathy as I’ve been working full time from home with 3 and dh working outside of home. It’s hard. However I’ve now decided to go into the office 2 days a week and send my dc to school as I am not doing my job effectively at home. As we are both key workers this hasn’t been an issue with school. It’s not ideal having dc in school but I’m being paid (well!) to do a job and it needs to be done.

I don’t understand how your boss can force you to send your children to school if the head teacher has said you can’t send them?

If you can’t work effectively with the children around, can you agree to do the work when your partner is not working, even if it means doing your contracted hours at a different time to usual? I know lots of people who are spreading their hours over a longer period (including weekends) to manage childcare but ensure they’re still doing what’s in their contract.

What would your ideal solution be OP?

I’m shocked your husband’s work has been sending him in given his illness. Can he really not work from home if he’s in an office not talking to anyone? He should have been redeployed.

Your boss also sounds like an intolerant cow quite frankly. Most people I know that are working with children are doing the best they can while looking after them and that has meant doing hours at odd times or sharing where possible with partners. Most of the key workers I know haven’t sent their kids back if there is a parent at home.

I think you’ve both been v unlucky with your employers and you should ignore the sanctimonious posters on here.

Remember hospitals are open you dont need ro wait until this is over - if your DH needs to see his consultant he should be doing so - even if it is a phone consultation.

Millions of people are wfh with dc at home. We are in lockdown in a pandemic. I would direct her to the pyramid of need ( google it) - a dissertation would be at the top. We should all be focusing on the bottom in a pandemic!