To think my boss can't force me to send my kids to school

[Turquoisetamborine]

Both myself and H are in vulnerable groups. H especially as he has stage 4 kidney failure. He has been going to work in a separate entrance to his enclosed office and not coming into contact with anyone. He does need to attend his office though as he's a key worker.

We have two kids of just turned 5 and 12.

I work three days a week from home for a public office so no chance of being furloughed. My boss has informed me that if I don't put my kids in school she will place me on unpaid leave.

I'd been managing at home to do work before they got up and during the day when they watched telly. Not to my full capacity admittedly but doing my bit and we have barely any work to do at the moment anyway. We are doing non essential tasks like learning and reading guidance.

She's saying it isn't good enough that I'm trying to do both and she's paying me to sit at home and do nothing. She's not paying me actually as we are civil servants and I am quite willing to work from home on jobs which don't require a huge amount of concentration. I can do my normal job no problem as I've been doing it so long and know it inside out. Now she's given me a choice, go on unpaid leave or put kids in school.

Headteacher says kids should be at home unless parents are actually out at work such as teachers, nurses etc. and that they should only be coming to school due to an emergency situation.

Can she force me to send them when I'm at home willing to care for them?

I can’t believe some of these comments. Your boss is being bloody awful. I work in the private sector and my managers are falling over themselves to be reasonable for people with kids at home. It’s an absurd time to be asking someone to start a new qualification. Especially when others are not being asked the same! You have my sympathies OP. I’m not sure where you stand legally though, but morally your boss is utterly in the wrong.

Pp said Coasting? What's wrong with coasting? Op is doing her job, her work.
With an ill husband. And difficult child. In covid.

Sounds good enough to me.
Some people are happy to do their job. And go home. Without striving to the next level.
I think the PP's criticism of op's 'coasting' was unfair.

But can she force you to do a course for a qualification you neither want nor need? That sounds mad to me. And a years study done in a few weeks?

I applied for place for the younger one a few weeks back and was turned down as I'm working from home. Headteacher said she would only consider a place for parents who are working outside the home

I don't think heads are allowed to do that, as it's not what the guidance says. However, you can presumably use that to your advantage: you can show you tried to get your child into school but it is literally impossible. I suspect you would have a good Employment Tribunal case if they put you on unpaid leave because you can't do the impossible.

Just work evening and weekends, what's the problem?

I still think OP's boss is on serious dodgy ground HR wise.

Insisting an employee sends her children to school when they're not a key worker in corona, and op can work from home, and is, is against the government guidelines.

Op is completing her work. it's just she's not completing the extra qualification that the boss wants her to do.

I haven't read all the replies but my understanding of the rules is that schools are only taking children whose parents are both at work physically out of the house anyway.

A couple of my doctor friends are working from home part of their week using video consultation tools - they are not being expected to send the kids to school these days.

When they agreed to provide nursery for my LO my husband and I (both in healthcare) had to get our line managers to confirm that we were unable to wfh.
Also if you're in the civil service you can be furloughed, I'm aware of people who have gone for this because although they can theoretically work from home it's not physically possible because e.g. they have a toddler and no other supports.

Your boss is so in the wrong! First off, Heads won’t accept children under these circumstances and I’m sure your Head would happily explain this in writing. Secondly, thousands of parents are in the same boat right now. The workforce is not as effective during lockdown because of childcare (& plenty of other reasons obviously). Your boss needs to suck it up. Your can’t be forced into unpaid leave because you have kids. Bloody ridiculous.

I think the solution is for me to work on the qualification as much as possible. Do the reading and research needed but not have the pressure on me to do the written work at present. It is not a necessary qualification for my job.

Entitled much? It may not be necessary to do your job. But your job isn't very busy right now and it IS a qualification that your manager wants you to do. So for now, completing that qualification IS YOUR JOB... and you're saying you can't/won't do it, except the background reading, which to be honest is neither use nor ornament to your manager as you haven't actually achieved anything. So if you can't do the job you're quite reasonably being asked to do, you take unpaid leave.

It isn't that complicated

If your child isn't diagnosed, doesn't have an Ehcp, but has practically what would be recognised as sn's, or is not NT, not easy, then no wonder op is struggling with him at home.

You’re considered a key worker (I imagine) if furlough isn’t an option. Contact school reception and ask them how to put an official complaint in about the headteacher is not following guidance. Send a copy to your line manager along with steps with suggestions of how you can improve and giving possible deadlines. This should get your LM off your back for a while.

As for your dh, are you sure he’s ok? He doesn’t sound it, rather that he’s hanging on by a thread. Don’t let him work himself into an early grave just so work can have him on site. I think he probably needs an urgent medical review. Or has he tried to get this already?

Op is completing her work. it's just she's not completing the extra qualification that the boss wants her to do.

But surely her employer can give her extra tasks to fill her contracted hours?

My school wouldn't be letting your children come in because you are working from home. Most of the country are in the same position and unfortunately your boss needs to understand that!

I think your boss is being totally unreasonable and I am very angry on your behalf.

You can't send your kids into school due to the HT not accepting them. Plus your H is terribly ill - whether he's got a bloody letter or not, it's common sense that he needs to avoid getting coronavirus! People who haven't cared for an unwell spouse just simply do not understand the load it puts on the whole family.

You need to take specialist advice from the union as this situation is unprecedented. I understand why you don't have headspace as you're interacting with the kids and worrying about your H. But perhaps you'll have to find some if there's no way around your very mean boss. Does your qualification have any online lectures? I find it okay to listen to these when trying to play with my young kids. Even related talks or podcasts can help you to get your head into a subject.

I wish you well, I really do. I'm sorry your boss is not showing a bit more humanity.

Can you spread your hours over 5 or 6 days? Do you fill in a time sheet. I find that really helpful. Either start early and get finished by lunch time or start early, have a really long break and finish later.

Does your 5YO have a gaming device? Now might be the time to get one. I bought a 2nd TV at the start of lock down and it has helped me to work, as the DCs aren't fighting over what to watch.

Can you pay your 12YO to look after the 5YO for an agreed part of the day?

Could you adjust the time when you are working ? Trying to work when the kids are needing you isn’t easy. You could do your hours in the evening ? And weekends when they in bed and you DH can watch them.

So you yourself are not a key worker.

What is your organisation’s HR policy on working from home with children? There should be a written policy. It seems unlikely that a big employer such as the civil service will have the policy that your manager is seeking to impose.

So would continue with the union, HR and if you establish the policy, the first stage of the grievance procedure.

When most/all pupils go back policies will likely be reviewed and change.

I don't think your boss has a leg to stand on personally, especially if you are in the CS. In my department we've been told from the top that anyone who can should WFH, Managers should be flexible with regards to hours etc. Where children are involved and then if it isn't possible to WFH you take special (paid) leave. Is that not the case in your department? Seems very odd for a manager to be able to make this decision totally against CS wide guidance!

“I should be able to complete the course she wants me to do in the time I am off but I just don't have the head space for it at present. It's difficult to force yourself to learn when you're feeling tired and stressed.“

If you were at work and you were stressed, would you be able to tell your boss that you don’t have the headspace for it? I think the answer is no, and that is the problem.

Personally, I think you just need to tell the boss you will do the course and do your best. I managed to write a dissertation with a baby, the way I did it was to work from 8:30 to 4 am, sleep 5 hours and be back on full mode with a baby at 9 am. I would do that again if that was the price of keeping my job during lockdown.

Your husband needs to step up here and discuss with his work how he can WFH to help with the kids.
If you can’t do anything with your kids at home the. You need to take u paid leave or agree hours where you start early, break in day and work in evening or share the time with your DH.

With respect to the qualification, had you started it before lockdown? Who had instigated it, how much is it costing your employer, and is there the option to defer?

My school wouldn't be letting your children come in because you are working from home

Her husband is a key worker and schools are supposed to permit kids with one key worker parent to attend.

Secondly, and I mean this politely it doesn’t matter what your school permits, or any other school it matter what her children’s schools permit.

You said your work only takes you a couple of hours a day but you’re still expecting full pay for a full day? You could do the work for the qualification in the evenings and weekend. I think it’s perfectly reasonable for your boss to give you extra work to fill your time up to full time hours if it will be of benefit later.

OP this is not the most supportive thread. I understand you not being able to study. Some colleagues were talking recently about how they struggle to concentrate enough to read in their leisure time at the moment. Most were watching easy TV they wouldn't normally watch. Sorry that you have not had the most compassionate response here.

These are difficult times and from what I can tell you are doing what you can in difficult circumstances. I hope most line managers are being more understanding. Hopefully the union week be able to help you.

Our schools won't permit children who have a parent who isnt a key worker in

Show your boss the reply from the school refusing a place and copy HR in?