What 3 things has mumsnet taught you about life?

[Pika09]

What 3 things has mumsnet taught you about life?

(Lighthearted obviously)

1. Never answer the phone if it's a number that you don't recognise or is withheld.

1. Never answer the door if somebody hasn't pre-booked an appointment and definitely not after 7pm, even if it is somebody like the police (see 1.)

1. Under no circumstances must you communicate with your neighbours except by passive aggressive notes about their legal parking.

Anyone got any others?

you can't juggle kids, bags, food and everything, so why wouldn't you get a table first? If it's too full, you go somewhere else.

Some people love to make their life as complicated as possible.

That men truly are the scum of the earth,, that apparently if you're a mistress then it's ok and you're fine helping to destroy lives, but most importantly it's vital to have a job of my own and not be a sahp- actually did make the leap for myself to get employment before this whole covid thing based off of mn warnings.

It is not possible for there to be a thread on Mumsnet that mentions McDonalds that doesn't have someone piping up that 'it's not food' and making sure that everyone knows that they would never eat there. Because the chicken, eggs, beef, potatoes and salad items served by McDonalds are somehow different and inferior to those served at any other restaurant or takeaway.

You cannot mention having anything nice like a holiday, a meal out or a handbag without a grovelling apology for being able to afford it and it being regretful that not everyone is as fortunate as you.

You can however talk without any remorse whatsoever about how you live in the most desirable postcode near to the best schools because this is nothing to do with money or privilege at all and you are merely 'prioritising your DCs education'.

That some people can be snobby and judgemental about the most inconsequential actions of others.

Aargh - people starting the cafe argument - just don't, right, just don't. This is not the place to rehash these arguments!

Though I do find it interesting what people pick up on - some things people are saying they learnt from MN are the opposite of what I have picked up.
So this, if you're a mistress then it's ok Seems to me the MN message is that if you are a mistress you deserve to have a large 'A' burnt into both cheeks and your forehead, to have the extremist version of FGM forced upon you, to never work again, and be shunned by all society for ever more, because basically you have foregone your place in humanity by proving yourself to be amoral sub-human scum.

MILs are the scum of the earth. Not sure how many mumsnetters realise they will also be MILs one day.

You must helicopter parent your child until they reach double figures at which point they must entirely fend for themselves, if they haven't left home by 16 you've failed as a parent.

Teenagers are not complex, troubled or going through huge personal development in a short space of time. They're entitled, rude and general scum of the earth if they don't do as they're told, when they're told exactly how they're told then you have failed.

• a child will be left with deep emotional scars which they will never recover from if you make them have the smallest room because they are the youngest child.

1. Some people can't read an OP

1. some people can't count to 3

1. Some people love to derail threads

The animosity to stepmums is incredible.

Be too detached as a Stepmum and you are heartless

Try and be involved as a stepmum and you are overstepping.

Unfortunately I think this MN culture has been heavily influenced by batshit extreme posts by truly terrible stepmums such as :

My 2 stepdaughters, who I hate, can share this tiny space on the landing as a bedroom can't they?

I only want naice photos of MY children in OUR house. AIBU

I am pregnant. DSD lives a long way away. DH sees her twice a month. AIBU to say Summer Holidays ONLY after baby is born ?

And then of course, these dickheads...

We've been together 8 weeks now, and I love my stepchild and want to do my share feel like my stepchilds mum doesn't respect this

Tarnishing stepmotherhood for all the perfectly normal stepmums on here. I'm not even a stepmum and I feel for them.

Oh, 3 :

1. Stepmums can't win

2. If a stranger behaves obnoxiously to you and you are upset you know that they are JUST an arsehole you will STILL be lambasted regardless for having not considered that they MIGHT have a long list of invisible issues

3. People have a bizarre and inexplicable aversion to ASDA even though it sells the same stuff as Waitrose, cheaper. People also regard a visit to Aldi akin to a trip to Baghdad.

If your over 60 you bought your house for £2.00 and you don’t need the old age pension because you are very wealthy

Your MIL is awful and go NC immediately

Your child should not believe in Father Christmas after the age of 5 because it’s lying to them

1. Whatever your hudsband does you must LTB
2. sore nipples
3. Penis beakers

That all women should check their cervical fluid AND log it's consistency,colour,texture for everyday of your cycle......If you don't your weird!

Everyone seems to have at least a cleaner or a nanny.

If you have a cheeky fag in your own back garden, you are possibly the most disgusting vile thoughtless neighbour in the world!

I need to add more! There are certain cposters I always look forward to their responses, Worraliberty and Xenia being 2 of them for very different reasons! Xenia seems to be a bit random where she pitches up but Worraliberty seems to frequent certain types of post where a straight talking, pithy response is called for!

If you dare suggest that McDonald’s isn’t the healthiest option for a child and maybe parents shouldn’t be drumming into kids that it’s the ultimate treat - you are a snob

No, but you sound like a dick because everyone knows McDonald’s isn’t the healthiest option. That’s why it’s a treat! People who say thinks like “McDonald’s isn’t food” sound thick as well as self righteous: of course it’s food. It’s also irritating because the title of the thread is never “should I feed my child McDonald’s?” And these people just enjoy detracting from the thread to sound (what they think is) like a super parent. When in actual fact there are also much worse things you could give your child/your child could be eating much less healthily usually anyway.

*things

Everyone knows that if your child eats a mcdonalds or has a sip of coca cola then they must be rushed to the nearest A& E. And if you know a child who is subjected to this poison you needed to ring social services.

Oh I have More!

1. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that people will not dramatically take offense to and get really snarky about.

2. One of the less reported side effect of Coronavirus Lockdown is how petty people have become.

3. I really love Style & Beauty but it shows me the parallel universe I seem to be living in. I could never afford even half the stuff recommended on there.

If you have a crush on someone, or meet someone irl that you're attracted to, he's obviously married and you are an evil home wrecker fro even looking in his direction
No women on Mumsnet are ever jealous of other women, due to a mystical sisterhood
That it is never acceptable for a woman to date a younger man, to even for fun, because that would be like fucking another poster's actual son.
(Oops I swore)

heylittlehenwhenwhenwhen I think you've mistaken me for someone else! T'was not me who asked What's this ''counting to 3 joke?!'.

Re. my user name - I'm a massive Thin Lizzy fan!

That if you have sex with someone before you've been dating them for at least 5 years,you're rushing things and will be doomed to disappointment. OK that's an exaggeration,but Im always somewhat surprised at the judgemental attitude of a lot of people who think that if you sleep with someone after just a couple of dates,then you are on a hiding to nowhere.

Sorry for bringing up the cafe thing ;)

You must helicopter parent your child until they reach double figures at which point they must entirely fend for themselves, if they haven't left home by 16 you've failed as a parent

Teenagers are not complex, troubled or going through huge personal development in a short space of time. They're entitled, rude and general scum of the earth if they don't do as they're told, when they're told exactly how they're told then you have failed

I'd forgotten these. And if, as a parent, you want to help out your son or daughter financially they should have grown up. And heaven forbid that you want to buy them a rucksack for uni/college!

Ditto the financial help for a parent - ie son/daughter earning well so decides to help parent out.

1. Froot shoots are the work of the devil
2. It's all about the naice ham
3. SEN

To always cancel the cheque.

McDonald's is scum of the earth

As are fruit shoots

Step parents are always in the wrong