What 3 things has mumsnet taught you about life?

[Pika09]

What 3 things has mumsnet taught you about life?

(Lighthearted obviously)

1. Never answer the phone if it's a number that you don't recognise or is withheld.

1. Never answer the door if somebody hasn't pre-booked an appointment and definitely not after 7pm, even if it is somebody like the police (see 1.)

1. Under no circumstances must you communicate with your neighbours except by passive aggressive notes about their legal parking.

Anyone got any others?

.Everyone is well off. What I would class as a very good wage a lot of people dont.

. There will always be someone correcting grammar

. I'm still learning what I can and cannot type I use lol all the time but I dont on here I would have holy water thrown at me

That there are MN positions on a number of subjects, and you disagree at your peril! These include;
Brexit is bad and there will be no advantages at all, ever.
That the Tories conspire to kill poor people, disabled people and anyone who doesn't vote Tory

If you're expounding acceptable mn opinions then anecdote, my mate/DH says are fully acceptable posts. If you hold the opposite view then "link please" will be the first comment after dating to disagree!

That burping, ball scratching and passing you on the stairs without your permission are all red flags and you should leave your husband immediately.

1. Women are far funnier than men, no male comedian has ever made me laugh as long or as hard as a bunch of random females on Mumsnet. Thank you

1. A lot of women suffer from imposter syndrome.

1. I am rubbish at everything ^ see above

1. Mothers-in-law are evil. They want to see your newborn and buy your kids things. Try to cut them out of your life if you can.

1. Stepmothers aren't much better. Only children from a first marriage have any status because they're from the Golden Uterus. Children from second relationships are inferior and possibly delinquent.

1. Never call on someone unexpectedly. Write a letter to arrange a time in advance. Follow up with an email, text and phone call. Even then don't necessarily expect to be welcome. You might have to sit on their drive in the rain.

Oh and any child over the age of 16 who doesn't behave impeccably at all times should be booted out of the house.

Nobody cares about your baby or pregnancy: even your family. Nobody wants to see scan pictures or know the sex except the parents of the child. Nobody is excited by your baby news.

Mothers-in-law are evil. They want to see your newborn and buy your kids things. Try to cut them out of your life if you can

Mothers-in-law are evil. They want to see your newborn and buy your kids things. Try to cut them out of your life if you can

Sometimes, shock horror, they even want to spend time with their son! 😱😱😱😱😱😱 or...or even....(and this is only for the evilest of them)... COME TO CHRISTMAS 😱😱😱😱

Some women are REALLY naive about their partners philandering/drug use

Everyone has a lockdown routine/does joe wicks every morning and homeschooling is going awesome!

Some people are REALLY rich compared to me.

Oh and any child over the age of 16 who doesn't behave impeccably at all times should be booted out of the house.

This drives me absolutely insane as my first post, its the first thing that just out at me when first joining Mumsnet, I've posted once for parenting advice and won't make that mistake again!
There seems to be no understanding that even well behaved teenagers can be an arses at times, or that puberty combined with pressures of school can bring the most level headed child to near breaking point and that you can't put someone bigger than you on the naughty step.

Dressing your kids well put together means your working class/ poor.

Only wash your towels once a week.

Don’t spend more than £100 on your kids at Christmas.

Don’t parent your kids after they turn 18.

No one cleans their house daily .

That many people whose lives are so busy and they are having trouble coping still find it possible to spend a lot of time on social media.

Her MIL is a shrew 90% of the time, his MIL is the angel Gabriel reincarnated.

Unless you've popped one out in the last 24 hours you know nothing about looking after babies.

Lots of men are shits.
Lots of women are superstars.
Retinol is good.

2)
If a man gets inheritance, he should share it with his wife. If a woman gets inheritance, she should keep it all to herself.

Or as my dear old Physics teacher used to say, When a woman marries she says What's your's is mine and what's mine's my own.

That some people get wound up by some really trivial shit and feel the urge to share.
That once your DC's are18 they are adults and should be ejected from the family home
That my DIL's all hate me!!

1. toilet brushes are disgusting and should be illegal

2. if you change your bedding and wash your towels twice daily it’s not enough and you’re dirty and unhygienic. But if you change your towels and wash your bedding more than once a year it’s over the top and you clearly don’t give a shit about the environment and are responsible for damaging the planet.

3. All “am I pregnant?” questions can be resolved by using a FRER. If this doesn’t fully resolve the issue then you need to take it apart and do funky things with colour inversion on the 500th photo you post of the test. If you use a FRER it’s NEVER too early to test and someone can always see a line.

A large number of women have a DH with a hobby they can't ever reveal on MN as it would be completely outing. Who knew there were so many unusual pastimes.

If you are struggling financially it is very easy to pack up your belongings and along with your family "move to a cheaper part of the country". Alternatively taking in ironing solves all financial woes.

Refusing to send a birthday party invite to a child who has been bullying your DC is wicked. No child should be left out.

1. Many people lie through their teeth for sympathy changing their stories to suit their audience

1. Some people are fantasist psychopaths

1. That my DP would never change, but has momentously and therefore advice should be taken with a pinch of salt In many instances.

If you are struggling with childcare, just get a nanny.
Is someone over 50 is rude or nasty to you they must have dementia.
There are no nice mothers in law, they are all evil bitches and they want to steal your child.

That men are largely useless
That toilet brushes are a contentious issue
That if you are concerned about anything outside your own sphere of experience you have far too much time on your hands and have never had any real problems

That one chicken can feed a family of six for four meals
That anyone giving their kids MacDonalds food and the odd fruit shoot should be charged with serious child abuse
That there is no need to answer the door or the phone unless prearranged appointments have been made
That new babies should be squirrelled away in case anyone should assume they can visit for at least six months - mustn’t jeapordise bonding time
That everything posted should be answered with ridicule and sarcasm

Don't forget that any neighbour expecting you to take in a parcel is a c.f. and if the van driver has the temerity to knock on your door when your baby is having its afternoon nap he should be reported to the noise abatement department at your local council.

but Im always somewhat surprised at the judgemental attitude of a lot of people who think that if you sleep with someone after just a couple of dates,then you are on a hiding to nowhere.

Me too. Surely there's no cause and effect here. DH and I DTD on our first date, and here we are 22 years happily married.

That if you are a single parent with multiple medical conditions you will live “very rural” with 7 children (6 of whom have SEN) and you feed and clothe them all on £2.83 and a bag of lentils a week.

That some people seriously think it’s a “Chester Draws”.

If your husband or boyfriend opens his mouth to say something to you he’s obviously gaslighting. And that gaslighting is the most incorrectly used term on the whole site,