Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social bubble of ten or less.

287 replies

justasking111 · 03/05/2020 12:55

So young grandparents here. How do we choose who we see in this social bubble.

family 1 - OH, me and DS home from uni. = 3
family 2 DS, wife, 3 children = 5
family 3 DS, wife, 2 children plus MIL = 5

Total 13.

We are three over the limit. Am I supposed to choose between family 2 = 8 Or family 3 = 8

It really is a dilemma for me is it for others. I want to see both families so aibu?

OP posts:
Methtones · 03/05/2020 13:58

IndiaMay

No, you all have the same 10 people.

Methtones · 03/05/2020 13:59

GrimmsFairytales

Canada has in some states.

Blackandgreenteas · 03/05/2020 14:00

It sounds like an absolute recipe for disaster and I can’t see it happening.

How would you police it ffs? How would the police know you were taking your walk with the same group of people, going into the same houses etc. Nightmare

Blackandgreenteas · 03/05/2020 14:00

It’s also going to lead to a weird sort of popularity contest imo

Aweebawbee · 03/05/2020 14:02

And who exactly would be enforcing this rule? Would we have to register our chosen 10, then carry ID? What nonsense.

GrimmsFairytales · 03/05/2020 14:02

Thanks Methtones Canada's idea sounds much more sensible.

“In an effort to reduce social isolation, especially for those living alone, your household can join up with one other household, if both households mutually agree. This would allow you to visit, have a meal and enjoy the company of another household bubble. You must not have close contact with anyone else. You cannot join up with more than one household or bubble."

Headbangersandmash · 03/05/2020 14:04

I think it will be too complicated to implement.

OP you've forgotten that your sons would probably want to pick their ILs over their sibling's household to make their list of 10.

Mascotte · 03/05/2020 14:04

It's a good idea. It's not meant so that you could see everyone you want to but so that people living alone can see another human, maybe their partner? I live separately from mine because of my dc but it doesn't mean we're less committed and it's awful not being allowed to see him.

And for grandparents who might have seen their dgcs every day, and also may provide childcare so society can begin to function again.

Or so people with psychiatric illness can have contact with family.

Mascotte · 03/05/2020 14:06

And that Canada idea sounds a great one.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/05/2020 14:07

I can’t see this being adhered to. Some will take is as carte Blanche to start socialising. Many are already doing this and will see it as an in invitation to add another 2/3 families. With us, we would be best to choose a friend for dd. But that won’t work terribly well because they’ll be wanting to see others.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/05/2020 14:07

"it's more that you pick a best friend/ or two to move in with (rather than 10 friends) and yes you'd all agree to share."

But you can already do that, so what would change?

Gwenhwyfar · 03/05/2020 14:08

"It’s also going to lead to a weird sort of popularity contest imo"

Yes, I think I'm going to be left on my own. Will be worse than being alone because it's lockdown, I will be rejected as well.

MintyMabel · 03/05/2020 14:08

inlaws closet siblings

Are they kept secret for a reason?

viques · 03/05/2020 14:09

Travis

I know, it's shocking isn't it? All those well educated government advisors .

I think they do it to annoy because they know it teases.

Frlrlrubert · 03/05/2020 14:10

It would work for us if you can do three households as only DH's family live close so:

MIL and FIL
SIL, BIL, niece
Me, DH, DD.

BILs parents are also far away, so no issues there.

PILs are desperately missing the grandkids. So we'd welcome this, but I can see how it probably wouldn't work for most people.

I'm guessing if they did suggest this they realise that it will increase infection rate, and would probably factor in that some people would misinterpret (wilfully or otherwise) the rules. Just as they know some people are breaking them now.

Purplequalitystreet · 03/05/2020 14:10

My DM lives alone over 100 miles away. Could she be in my 10? Somehow I doubt it

Luckystar1 · 03/05/2020 14:11

We have no one we can do it with. My parents have been visiting poorly relatives and their families are always there, so not isolating, and our friends have their families. So this will just make our lives harder, as I don’t think people will get that it’s 10 people in total, not 10 people per household.

Itoldyouiwasill · 03/05/2020 14:11

I mentioned this to my elderly parents.
DM's response was 'Oh actually we'd prefer to name your sister as then we'd get to see her children'
Thanks Mum

GrimmsFairytales · 03/05/2020 14:12

And that Canada idea sounds a great one.

I agree. It's simple and to the point, no room for misinterpretation, which already seems to be happening with the 10 or less idea.

Allowing meet ups in the style of Canada, would really benefit those who are lonely or struggling.

Itwasntme1 · 03/05/2020 14:13

I live alone and I will be joining a bubble with my sister and her family. Parents are over 70 and will still be isolating. It will just be the two houses combing and therefore won’t introduce much more risk. I am working from home.

I agree this won’t work though. People will never really understand it and lots of people will be in multiple bubbles,

Vanillaradio · 03/05/2020 14:13

This couldn't work for me. I'd only want to see my parents (pil deceased). My parents live about 45 mins away from me and would want to see their friends, dh and I would want to see ours, ds would want to see his, they would all want to see their own families, there's no way the 10 people we would want to see would only want to see the same 10 people........

Changeofname79 · 03/05/2020 14:14

@IndiaMay you dont all get to choose 10 people. It would be a small bubble of people who only see each other. Even this will increase the potential for spread of course. One person has only got to pick up the virus whilst out shopping or working and pass it on to the group. It has to be carefully thought through.

My DH is working on a supermarket so we will not be seeing anyone outside of our household as it's not fair to pass that risk to my parents who are late 60s.

FoolsLemonTree · 03/05/2020 14:16

It's needed most for people who live alone (on the whole) IMO. Yet they are just as restricted by others' family arrangements as the families themselves. Eg. I most want to see a friend who has children, but the DC already go between two household so that's out. Friends I want to see live in shared accommodation, so their housemates will want to see other people too...

Gwenhwyfar I think I'm going to be left on my own. Will be worse than being alone because it's lockdown, I will be rejected as well.

This. I hear you, it's my fear too.

Changeofname79 · 03/05/2020 14:16

@Frlrlrubert and this is where interpretation is hard, is it 1-2 householdsother than your own, therefore 3 in total? Its less than 10 people who would not see anyone else outside their bubbles potentially safer than suggested in many of the ridiculous posts on here.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 03/05/2020 14:18

It's not so people can have a nice fun social life, it's to help people who are alone and need childcare from grandparents or couples who live separately

Exactly. People seem to be completely misunderstanding what the point of this would be. When I first heard the suggestion I was also of the view that it wouldn't be workable. However having thought it through, if you think of it not as way to get your social life back and see as many family/friends as you possibly can, but as a way for people who have a real practical or emotional need to spend time with someone from outside their household, it works fine.

So me for example, living alone, wfh, feeling very lonely and isolated - I would be able to see my boyfriend to ease the loneliness. He currently has relatives living with him and other than missing me isn't feeling isolated, so would have no urgent need to see anyone else outside his household.

A couple with young children, both trying to work from home and struggling to work while also looking after children. They could combine with one set of their parents who could provide childcare.

Elderly person living alone with no nearby family and in desperate need of company - combines with neighbours who are a family with children and who are coping well with lockdown and can continue a while longer not seeing their family and friends.

The bubble would not be in any way compulsory, so if you are doing ok in your household, you don't have to do it at all. And if you do choose to do it it wouldn't be compulsory to have 10 people in it, so no need to work out which 10 people you want/can have. Just pick the one household that either you really really need to see, or who really really need to see you.