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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social bubble of ten or less.

287 replies

justasking111 · 03/05/2020 12:55

So young grandparents here. How do we choose who we see in this social bubble.

family 1 - OH, me and DS home from uni. = 3
family 2 DS, wife, 3 children = 5
family 3 DS, wife, 2 children plus MIL = 5

Total 13.

We are three over the limit. Am I supposed to choose between family 2 = 8 Or family 3 = 8

It really is a dilemma for me is it for others. I want to see both families so aibu?

OP posts:
Pukkatea · 03/05/2020 13:22

I hope they don't limit it to family. I don't have any family, I want to see my friends.

Changeofname79 · 03/05/2020 13:24

It wouldn't be limited to family but if you see friends they can only see you and not their families so it potentially wouldn't work.

cologne4711 · 03/05/2020 13:24

They are doing something like this in Guernsey. They fully accept that it will lead to arguments about grandparents.

But I would prioritise GPs living alone and perhaps with no other grandchildren. For example, my mum has one grandson, MIL has six and also has DIL living around the corner. But we live quite a long way from both of them so it's pretty academic anyway.

Difficultcustomer · 03/05/2020 13:24

Not sure it would help people who are isolated as do not have family, estranged or not family nearby. People with grandparents or close siblings will naturally pick those for close visits rather than a friend so may feel even more alone.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/05/2020 13:28

I can't see how it works unless each group is only interacting with others in the same group.

So eg

Family 1 = dh + DW (no children, or in laws or extended family) work from home.

Family 2 = Retired parents of one of the above (no other children/family).

It can't work otherwise.

In your case op, you refer to a son living with you - would he not want to see friends or a partner for example?

BlackeyedSusan · 03/05/2020 13:28

We are already doing two households... children going to dad's. working together to all stay in as much as possible( went out for prescription)

Pukkatea · 03/05/2020 13:29

I feel sorry for my DP as well. Two of his siblings rely on his parents for childcare so as usual, as the only childless member of his family he is going to be the lowest priority, as he always is.

crustycrab · 03/05/2020 13:30

This thread has done a great job of showing how people will misinterpret it and it won't work.

IAmReportingYouForBBQing · 03/05/2020 13:30

My sister and I have been doing this from day one with our kids and it's worked great for us ( I am a carer for her kids additional needs ). If this happens and I can increase to ten I will be adding my eldest daughter and her oh and my sister and her baby. That's it.

But I think most people would just forget or bend the rules.

burnoutbabe · 03/05/2020 13:33

i think it would work fine with older people who are single, who can buddy up now. Or couples living apart. Just not really people with families.

(me and OH, my 2 parents, i have sister/SIL and 1 child. So that is fine. As long as my OH and my SIL don't want to see their families at all

But parents and kids living apart with no partners, fine.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/05/2020 13:33

Please tell me this is not actually going to happen. It doesn't make sense at all. Family is not relevant to those who don't live nearby. Friends - apart from on the TV programme who has a group of friends where everyone's friends are exactly the same?
Lots of people like me will probably get left out entirely.

GabsAlot · 03/05/2020 13:34

Noone but the papers have suggested this-cant see it working tbh

Gwenhwyfar · 03/05/2020 13:36

"i think it would work fine with older people who are single, who can buddy up now. Or couples living apart. "

Why would it work fine for older people who are single? I'm 43 and single and it doesn't work for me at all as my 10 friends would not be the 10 friends of my 10 friends if you see what I mean.

NoTeaForMe · 03/05/2020 13:37

Has there been any actual news on this. I know a few people have said “I think we’ll be allowed to mix in groups of less than 10” but does that mean you could go and visit anyone as long as there’s less than 10 or are they saying you can isolate with new people. Or —as I suspect—is it all just rumours and will probably amount to nothing?

HermioneWeasley · 03/05/2020 13:38

Completely unworkable for us. If we want t9 see our parents and siblings who are hundreds of miles away, then we can’t see any friends locally.

Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous

fronttoback · 03/05/2020 13:40

This isn't going to work, is it?

Changeofname79 · 03/05/2020 13:46

@IAmReportingYouForBBQing that would be flaunting the rules though. That would be 4 households.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras that is the idea that you only mix in that one group and no one in that group sees anyone else at all.

I don't think it is just paper talk, I believe Nicola Sturgeon suggested it as a measure for Scotland in phase 2.

Traviis · 03/05/2020 13:46

Social bubble of ten or less

Is this an actual announcement? "Less"? "LESS"? Are you kidding me?

CanIHaveAPenguinPlease · 03/05/2020 13:48

Do & I were discussing this. I’m opposed to it as it will just cause arguments. Dh will want to see his family & I’ll want to see mine. It’s just best left as it is.

IndiaMay · 03/05/2020 13:50

I'm confused by this as 10 people would work for us (partners parents and siblings, my dad and his household, my mum and her household) but then one of my mums people to see would be an elderly parent on their own. So surely if we could be passing the virus onto them if we're all mixing

Britishgurl123 · 03/05/2020 13:53

It would only work if it was on a 1 household to 1 household front. Making it a bubble of 3 would be too complicated as not everyone would be happy. I mean noone would be happy anyway.
For example my best friend and I talked about this, she and I just being in a bubble of our households would be perfect. We're best friends, we both have toddlers the same age who need a bit of normality back, and we don't live far away from eachother. But saying that her partner would want to see his parents and her mother would want to see her relatives.
So as simple as me and her see it, its just an argument waiting to happen in her house. And I'm sure many other households.

burnoutbabe · 03/05/2020 13:54

Why would it work fine for older people who are single? I'm 43 and single and it doesn't work for me at all as my 10 friends would not be the 10 friends of my 10 friends if you see what I mean.

it's more that you pick a best friend/ or two to move in with (rather than 10 friends) and yes you'd all agree to share.

so really just combining households which quite a few of my single friends have done anyway (ie moved in with another close friend or maybe older parents or their partner)

WeAllHaveWings · 03/05/2020 13:56

The idea is to expand your social circle very slightly, not to include your whole family. I am one of 5 siblings all with children and partners with their own families to consider.

We obviously can't all fit into a single bubble without overlapping with other bubbles so we will choose who goes where. So OP yes, you choose which of your children's family you want to bubble with, assuming they want to bubble with you too, they might prefer their inlaws! Otherwise it changes from a bubble into a potential chain of infection.

I don't even think mum will be in any of our bubbles as she is shielding.

GrimmsFairytales · 03/05/2020 13:57

Have any other countries implemented a similar idea?

Methtones · 03/05/2020 13:57

I dont think this is workable as so many people either deliberately or otherwise dont understand they cant just choose 10 people to see. If we all do that then life is basically normal again.

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