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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social bubble of ten or less.

287 replies

justasking111 · 03/05/2020 12:55

So young grandparents here. How do we choose who we see in this social bubble.

family 1 - OH, me and DS home from uni. = 3
family 2 DS, wife, 3 children = 5
family 3 DS, wife, 2 children plus MIL = 5

Total 13.

We are three over the limit. Am I supposed to choose between family 2 = 8 Or family 3 = 8

It really is a dilemma for me is it for others. I want to see both families so aibu?

OP posts:
GrimmsFairytales · 03/05/2020 15:15

StatisticallyChallenged I suspect you're not the only family who are considering doing similar. Going to visit for a few hours and giving her some company sounds like it would benefit your MIL.

GrimmsFairytales · 03/05/2020 15:18

Otherwise it’s not my bubble of ten is it.. I’ll just be part of someone else’s bubble and I want my own

But you don't need a bubble of 10. The idea is to help those who are lonely, struggling and need extra help. It's a maximum of 10 people.

Freethefrogs · 03/05/2020 15:23

The idea is to help those who are lonely, struggling and need extra help. It's a maximum of 10 people.

Yes well I see the sentiment in that. But it isn't practical is it. I live with my DH and DS so clearly I don't "need" anyone extra. But I'm not staying away from my family til a vaccine is found, forget it.

Godzillasonice · 03/05/2020 15:23

After being on my own with three kids for nearly 8weeks I'd love to see my mum. She is my nans carer though so wouldn't be worth the risk.

BimbleWimble · 03/05/2020 15:24

New Zealand are doing something similar to Canada I think.

Inkpaperstars · 03/05/2020 15:24

I have not heard of this idea. Where has it been suggested and what was the actual original description?

TARSCOUT · 03/05/2020 15:25

I only want to see DM and DS and DMIL. DP will have to have my DS and his DM but apart from that all ok to wait!

Mammyloveswine · 03/05/2020 15:26

I would hope that we would be able to see my parents as they help us out with wraparound childcare! (And obviously because we miss them! We are very close!).

Another relative does childcare for us too (paid and all above board before the comments start) but she has an extremely vulnerable DH so I don't expect will be in a position to help out anymore.

It's going to be a minefield!

pigsDOfly · 03/05/2020 15:27

Some of us have been through the whole lockdown on our own.

I imagine this idea is so that those of us who have will actually get to have a conversation with another human being face to face.

There's only so many times you can phone or face time people. Some days my voice get croaky from lack of use.

Whole thing sounds pointless to me. Who is going to keep a list of who anyone is allowed to see? How on earth would it be enforced? Who exactly is going to know if any one person seen 10 or 15 people?

Stupid idea.

Freethefrogs · 03/05/2020 15:27

I still don't think that Canada's idea is any better, as it doesn't remotely take into account that multiple households are already joined to others if the parents aren't together. Not everyone lives in neat little nuclear family units.

GrimmsFairytales · 03/05/2020 15:28

But I'm not staying away from my family til a vaccine is found, forget it.

Who said you had to stay away from your family until a vaccine was created? There may never be an effective vaccine.

My point was to the poster who wanted their own bubble of 10, just to themselves. That would be beyond pointless, and you might as well just say that's the end of social distancing and lock down.

Angel2702 · 03/05/2020 15:29

It wouldn’t work for us. There are 4 households in our close family with a total of 15 but that excludes SILs seeing their family.

I look after my nieces and nephews when parents are at work along with My Mum who helps out with overlapping pick ups or looking after my eldest on his early finish days.

If I can’t look after the kids they can’t go back to work.

Freethefrogs · 03/05/2020 15:30

I think they'd be better off just saying you can have small gatherings of close friends and family and try to stick to the same people & have done with it.

Frlrlrubert · 03/05/2020 15:30

It surely means everyone gets a bubble of ten and that those bubbles can overlap. Otherwise it’s not my bubble of ten is it.. I’ll just be part of someone else’s bubble and I want my own*
*
But then they aren't 'bubbles' are they they're bubble bath covering the entire country and surely we might as well just all mix freely in that case?

AvalancheKit · 03/05/2020 15:32

If anybody wants my family allowance please PM me. You can keep them!

FreakStar · 03/05/2020 15:34

This won't ever be the plan- it's just more media postulation. It's not worth wasting thinking time on it!

Freethefrogs · 03/05/2020 15:34

I actually thought that the point of the bubbles was not so much reducing the spread as making sure your contacts were easily traceable if one of you tests positive.

Inkpaperstars · 03/05/2020 15:34

I think it's more likely they will say things like....you have to limit the number of different people you have social contact with in a day or week, so that contact tracing is easier. Or that people who live alone can pick one other household to connect with.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/05/2020 15:36

You can just see the threads on here if this is implemented

"We've selected our 10 people but I really, really want to meet up with my new boyfriend who lives alone, but sees his parents. Am I ok to see him as well as my other ten? I mean - where's the risk, it's only one more person isn't it?"

Followed by variations of

" Sure Hun, that's fine. Where's the risk? Ignore the fun sponges. You do you"

radiall · 03/05/2020 15:36

Yeah, I don’t think it’s going to work.

It's going to work for the purposes intended which is physical support for some of those that need. It's not for socialising. It's also not compulsory so if it's not relevant or suitable for your situation, don't do it

MashedPotatoBrainz · 03/05/2020 15:37

But then they aren't 'bubbles' are they they're bubble bath covering the entire country and surely we might as well just all mix freely in that case?

Exactly.

GrimmsFairytales · 03/05/2020 15:40

It's also not compulsory

Exactly. Unfortunately that won't stop those who think it's their right to have 10 people, so sod everyone else i'm mixing because the rules say I can.

RapunzelinQuarantine · 03/05/2020 15:42

We have all been whatsapping, phoning and texting through out and it's been fine. Why are people so negative to social distancing?

Wtf? You LIVE WITH PEOPLE.

Try not speaking to another human being for two months and tell me how “fine” it is then.

Gawdsake2020 · 03/05/2020 15:45

It won’t work. How do you know who you pick isn’t mixing with 9 other people and those 9 aren’t mixing with 90 other people so on?
I’m just going to remain anti social.

Microzilla · 03/05/2020 15:48

It would be impossible for me to do safely as my nearest family are over 250 miles away and one is overseas. It’s a small family but very spread out. For each trip there would be a mix of taxi, trains, underground and if allowed to travel overseas, airport and planes which would be totally unsafe.