To not want to date someone with a criminal record?

[puzzledgirlispuzzled]

Has had a difficult childhood and never spent any time in prison (but come close) and criminal record all in the past but I have a feeling downplays it and is still prone to reckless behaviour for example reckless driving after having license previously suspended.

Also know that when comes into money difficulties is quick to consider criminal options of income when previous conviction for fraud.

Heavily smokes cannabis and has a lot of friends with similar backgrounds and criminal convictions

I have a four year old, am in University and not involved with this kind of life at all.

AIBU to run for the hills?

The only reason I have a feeling of guilt is that I know he has had difficult life and he has overcome a lot, there is some positivity in his life but feel like I would be very stressed being in this relationship and could not risk exposing my son to this life.

You don't owe him your trust and company just because he had a tough childhood! Has he tried the sob story on you? Lots of people have difficult childhoods and that woukdn't put me off as long as they were making a good go of their adult lives. He doesn't seem to be, though. 0

You're busy improving life for yourself and your daughter and a dishonest weed smoking man could undo all your efforts in no time!

Wow get as far away from him as possible.
This is not the role model you want for your son.

Why would you even consider a relationship ? This really would be scraping the bottom of the barrel?

OP, you need to board the Fuck That train to nopeville, like sooner than now. This has 'NOPE NOPE NOPE/don't touch it with a barge pole/the hills are that way >>>>/FTS' written in blaring lights with bells a ringin'.

You don't need to date anyone because you feel sorry for them.
You don't need to try and fix him or his life.
You don't need to sacrifice yourself or your child's happiness to ensure a man is happy.

It's not about him having a criminal record plenty of people with them can and do change,it's about the fact he's still involved in that lifestyle .

A criminal record in itself wouldn't be an automatic no, we all make mistakes, but this guy has more red flags than cheap Chinese bunting.

No. You have a child to think about.

This person may have some great qualities but it overall you feel he's not right for you that's fine! Don't feel any guilt. Move on

This guy sounds like a full house of utter tosserdom.

Why would you consider him? Run!

You'd be very stupid to date this man. Or shag him.

NO!

He is not your responsibility to fix. The reason he isn't fixed already is because he doesn't want to be.

This will be a car crash that could scar your child for life. Do not do it.

Do not get involved with a daily weed smoker, he will drag you down.

I'm concerned that you feel any guilt, why would you? This indicates that quite easily you could be manipulated into thinking any issues are your fault. Be prepared for lots of defensiveness on his part because 'you knew what you were getting into' and accusations of control because 'you want to change who he is'.

Stop buying the excuses. He likes his lifestyle.

No way would I be exposing my child to this person.

On the reckless driving, how can you overlook that when the majority of children killed or maimed in accidents are from knobheads who think that the law doesn't apply to them? As well as the adults who have their lives taken off them by sustaining like changing injuries.

Anyone of us could be a victim. There's cases that you don't forget, like the pregnant mother who pushed her 2 year old out of the way and died. We had a six year old die from a driver who lost control, because of speeding and being slightly stoned, he mounted the pavement.

Just no. For the friends alone: you'd very quickly become the boring nagging girlfriend trying to stifle his fun while they REALLY understand him. God, you're so boring, lighten up etc.

I'll expand a little further...

He does spend time caring for his mum, at least once a day he would be doing something for her. There is part of him that is ambitious and wants a decent, legitimate income. A few weeks ago he was considering setting up exercise classes with his friend at the local sports centre. He also exercise training with kids in local authority care, but I feel like even with this work he is quick to cut corners.

He is very quick to get distracted or 'low' to the point where he cannot function for example his ex or his mum can all effect him negatively and he will end up doing nothing for days and miss opportunities. Then when he realises he has no options left he will say, 'I am considering doing Criminal Activity A or B'

Yes my red flag sensors are definitely flashing up high alert

Nope - actually No

If you need to tell him why simply say your life is too busy with a young child and your university studies.

If you want to stay away from that crowd then pick a non-smoker (of any substance) and non-drug taker preferably one with a degree or a student like yourself.

For your childs sake RUN!!!!!

Do you think getting involved with a criminal is a good idea then ?.

Why do you think you are responsible for another adult you aren't related to?

Do you want your 4 year old to also have a difficult childhood?

God no, why would you want to even consider him, you’d always be wondering when the next dodgy thought turns into action. Run!

Great role model for your son, if you want him to grow up the same then crack on.
I'm amazed that you aren't running faster than Usain Bolt.

It's the ongoing behaviour, peers and associates that would concern me. If he'd had a difficult childhood made some mistakes in his teens/early twenties but made huge changes to his thinking, behaviour, attitude to life/others and the people he associates with, I'd recognised that for the achievement it was, but he doesn't sound like he is there.