To not want to date someone with a criminal record?

[puzzledgirlispuzzled]

Has had a difficult childhood and never spent any time in prison (but come close) and criminal record all in the past but I have a feeling downplays it and is still prone to reckless behaviour for example reckless driving after having license previously suspended.

Also know that when comes into money difficulties is quick to consider criminal options of income when previous conviction for fraud.

Heavily smokes cannabis and has a lot of friends with similar backgrounds and criminal convictions

I have a four year old, am in University and not involved with this kind of life at all.

AIBU to run for the hills?

The only reason I have a feeling of guilt is that I know he has had difficult life and he has overcome a lot, there is some positivity in his life but feel like I would be very stressed being in this relationship and could not risk exposing my son to this life.

Nightmare. A hard no from me.

I understand where you’re coming from, but you must also recognise the fact that SOME of them can change

I don't necessarily agree with those calling him a lowlife or other slurs. There are often complex reasons behind repeat offending and I personally wouldn't rule someone out because of a single offence or if they were clearly reformed. I believe people can change. But he isn't out of the woods yet and so I would steer clear.

No one is saying that people like him can't change, they definitely can. That isn't the point here. This man hasn't changed; he has the same criminal associates and he still has the urge to sole his financial problems through criminal activity. He's also a heavy weed smoker and the OP is worried that he won't take her no for an answer.

This isn't about whether he should have a second chance, of course he should if he's prepared to put the work into turning his life around. This is about whether the OP should have a relationship with him. He's also pulling at her heart strings because of the hard life he's had.

there are billions of men and millions in most countries. Why would anyone bother with this scrote?

randomguy12: I understand where you’re coming from, but you must also recognise the fact that SOME of them can change

Username checks out 🙄

Fucking hell, OP leave him ASAP!!

He'll probably be outraged that you're not going to help him anymore. Women are meant to be kind. Apparently. Be kind to yourself and your daughter. To him you can be a bitch.

His family member passed away last year and he is going through custody problems with ex, we have been friends for years. Part of me doesn't want to judge as I do not know how I would handle such hurt and pain.

However, as you all seem to agree this is not a life I could make DC experience when he doesn't have to, he can have a life free of these particular struggles.

I also feel he is too naive to realise the risks of the actions he takes but I'm not a social worker

Still run! Like you say you’re not a social worker, there are a lot of manipulative men who press women’s buttons and get a free ride off them.

I'd get a Clare law disclosure in case there is any Domestic abuse in the past too.

You don't owe man anything and if you are worried how he will react if you leave him ask women's aid to do a safety plan with you

Good grief... go and embroil yourself with a drug addict criminal who cannot even take care of his finances. You WON’T save him, he will drown you both.

I really found it difficult to believe you were asking the question of whether to stay or go, you shouldn’t have got involved with someone like that in the first place, especially not with a child you seem to want to find a way to justify staying. This are the reasons why women get involved with men like this:

1- They are desperate
2- They are desperate
3- They are desperate

My question was not to stay or go, as I am not living anywhere close rather a considerable drive across the country. He has never met my DC and DC is unaware of his existence.

We have however been friends for a number of years and he wants a relationship with me, however due to all the reasons discussed in this thread it seems that all posters agree with me that this would not be a good idea and I have since stopped all communication to avoid this escalating any further.