To tell DH that his potato’s are a joke?

[LNPW]

DH and I used to work together. We don’t anymore but I’m in touch with the old team. Whenever there was a buffet DH used to make Bombay potatoes which he thought were dead popular. But the staff there just take the piss. The are on about a post lock down buffet and the major joke is DHs potatoes and messages such as “bless him”. DH is excited going on about how he will need to make these potatoes. AIBU to tell him he’s a joke?

Taking the piss

I don't even think you need to be horrible to your ex colleagues here just say "oh I like them, will make sure he keeps half for me"
Just something to remind people you are in the group so they think before they post.

You should change your pic to dh and then post a pic of bombay potatoes in the chat.

Or this

I love Bombay potatoes. I'll eat them if no one else does!

So you don't have enough affection for him to be outraged that some nasty arseholes are taking the piss right under your nose?

If you love somebody you should be helping them feel good about themselves, you should be their champion. That's part of what you bring to a relationship, and it wouldn't matter if the stupid potatoes tasted like dog shit. Stand up for him, don't just bloody watch.

Like PPs, you shouldn't be sitting quietly while they are being frankly nasty about DH. You should be telling them to STFU.

However, IF this bit is true, then maybe this is the element you need to try to help him with...*They’re saying he goes on and on about them like they’re a massive secret and that he only makes them so he can be centre of attention.^

I have two friends who shared a house. One day, as they often did, they had a big meal for friends. Friend A had done all the cooking except for one vegetable that friend B had prepared. All we heard through the meal was friend B talking about how she made it, where she got the recipe from etc, no recognition of friend A's much much bigger contribution. I admit I cringed and pointedly complimented A on what she'd done, but B didn't take the hint. So IF he really does talk endlessly about his wonderful potatoes, maybe you could find a nice, gentle way to get him to tone that bit down.

Well yes, it's 2 things really isn't it?

He makes a meal about the potatoes so has the piss ripped out of him.

Although it's all behind his back so not just friends mucking about?

He's not liked at work-does he know this?

Well this is all a bit unpleasant. Who would tell their husband they are a joke, state they are unpopular and not say anything when people rip the piss.

A simple message saying “god I love the potatoes though”, would do it.

I worked with a bloke who made a song and dance about the (admittedly very tasty) buns he always brought to our regular work buffets. This prompted an occasional affectionate eye roll even though there was never a single bun left. His efforts were appreciated.

Very different to ripping the piss behind his back in a format that he could potentially see one day, and in front of his wife. Very unpleasant. Stick up for your husband. He may get a bit carried away but he's doing a nice thing and would feel such a fool if he saw the messages.

There's always one Susie Sunshine who tells the op "you sound like a lovely person", regardless of the situation they've just described 🤪
Op does not sound remotely lovely, imho.
Why are you lurking in a WhatsApp group of your former workplace when your dh isn't included because he's unpopular? And watching silently when there's a running joke about him?

Leave the group.

They will see 'LNPW left the group' at the bottom of the chat. Then they will know you have seen it and hopefully feel shit without you having to say anything

Does he cook much at home? Or are his 'special potatoes' the only thing he ever cooks?

I have come across people (usually men), who make a big 'thing' of having done a fairly simple bit of baking, always for an audience, usually when taking a cake in for work. Their delight in it and, often, their audience's appreciation, is very much from the 'OMG he's Dad of the year because he looked after both his own kids for a whole day!' school of sexism.

If I saw anyone slashing off my husband in this way they’d get their arse on a plate. So he bangs on a bit, he’s excited!

I'm very irritated that they are making these comments in front of you. If they have forgotten you're in the group, they are not very nice people.
Let him make the potatoes, enjoy them yourself, and take the miserable gits the cheapest crappest markdown junk you can find.

@dontgobaconmyheart totally agree.

So many of you sound like nutters over just a dish of potatoes. It’s really not that big of a deal. Why on earth should she bother “sticking up for her husband” over something so trivial? They’re freaking potatoes. Yeesh. Seems like a lot of posters came down with a case of lockdown hysterics last night and piled in.

@LNPW you just need to tell your husband to try making a different dish or possibly buying a high quality ready meal/side dish this time around due to safety precautions. You can add that people may not want potatoes again for the fourth time in a row, but that’s it.

@jings - it’s the time that the op is taking - she doesn’t seem to particularly like/respect her dh. May be just the way she’s typing, but it’s got a bit of a nasty feel to it.

Why on earth did you not stick up for your husband? Why are you watching him be bullied? Unbelievable!

@Carolduckingbaskin no. People were railing into the OP barely 10–20 min after she had posted. I deliberately went to check because it all seemed so madcap. The OP could’ve been doing all sorts of things in that time like taking a shit or just cleaning her bedroom while the crazy posts mounted up. She’s allowed to have an evening and not be glued to her phone answering deranged nutters going on about potatoes and making her out to be horrible spouse. Sheesh.

@jingamahbucket - arghh no author correct strikes - time should have read “tone”. The tone she is taking makes it sound like she doesn’t like her dh.

And again - I give up!

If it's a whatsapp group then I'd leave it as it would come up saying you had left and they'll feel really awkward.

Then I'd probably say something to your DH about you stumbling across an old muted WhatsApp group you've not looked at in a while where they're discussing the buffet and a few people have said they dont like the potatoes (say this in a nice way)

Then I'd probably advise him to either contribute nothing to this buffet or walk in with something covered up, announce their his soecial potatoes, and then when they take the lid off it's just a bowl of salt and shake crisps or something.

In all seriousness though that is so harsh that they're talking about him behind his back and you've not either defended him or left the group.

Sorry for typos above - I meant "Announce they're his special potatoes" and then when he uncovers them they're just crappy plain crisps

It’s really hard to get an idea of the dynamic of the group from your descriptions.

Is the problem they’re just a bitchy group of people who love to moan, or is there a good reason for them to be complaining about the Bombay Potatoes/your DH?

I wouldn’t mention it to your DH. You say he isn’t popular, but does he know this? Are you? How do you know he isn’t popular?

I did wonder who on earth the people who don't know what Bombay potatoes are, but they're probably the sort of people who think that a good buffet consists of sausages rolls, mini sausages, ham sandwiches, pork pies and Scotch eggs because it doesn't occur to them that not everyone wants a plate piled high with nothing but processed pork.

Why so rude @BarbaraofSeville ?

Why do you think that everyone should know what Bombay potatoes are? . Not having had them before does not equate to not liking them or not being prepared to try them. All sort of people haven't tried all sorts of things that might be common place to other people - there are often threads expressing surprise that a new partner ot friend hadn't come across {insert a particular favourite of the OP of that thread}.