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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH that his potato’s are a joke?

231 replies

LNPW · 01/05/2020 20:57

DH and I used to work together. We don’t anymore but I’m in touch with the old team. Whenever there was a buffet DH used to make Bombay potatoes which he thought were dead popular. But the staff there just take the piss. The are on about a post lock down buffet and the major joke is DHs potatoes and messages such as “bless him”. DH is excited going on about how he will need to make these potatoes. AIBU to tell him he’s a joke?

OP posts:
starsinyourpies · 02/05/2020 08:36

You sound a bit mean.

One of the rules for when we go back to the office is no sharing food so thankfully no such buffet dramas!

diddl · 02/05/2020 08:40

Ok, so maybe your husband is a bit daft about the potatoes?

But other than that he's disliked so if it's not this it's other stuff that people would criticise/make fun of him for?

So is there a way you can suggest he doesn't mention a buffet & doesn't make BPs as his work colleagues aren't worth the effort?

Does he know that his colleagues don't like him?

DinkyDaisy · 02/05/2020 08:44

More I think about it, the more I think he will be hurt if told.
Maybe let it go, though I do think I might find it hard not to make myself known in the group!
Maybe leave the group to avoid future upset...

diddl · 02/05/2020 08:44

"Will make it [When niece finally get her party] and they can all take the piss if they want to..."

I think that that's really nice of you tbh.

It has been specifically requested so no reason to not make it, although I'd wonder about bothering in future.

diddl · 02/05/2020 08:46

It's difficult isn't it as doubtless he would be hurt if told, but if he's going to keep unknowingly giving them cause to laugh at him?

Or would they just move onto something else if they dislike him?

DinkyDaisy · 02/05/2020 08:49

Thanks Diddl.
I was sort of hurt but think have an idea why they may take the piss.
Not a sophisticated pudding and maybe that is why popular with the children! [I am not a sophisticated cook unlike some of the other adults in the family]...

Pinkyyy · 02/05/2020 08:49

OP you need to stand up for your husband.

bettybattenburg · 02/05/2020 08:53

They are probably better than your grammar Grin

MargotLovedTom1 · 02/05/2020 08:55

Why are you even bothering with these people if you don't like them?!

Just leave the group and don't see them again - potatoes or no potatoes.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 02/05/2020 09:00

They sound awful people

I can understand you not wanting to speak up, as by lurking you get all the gossip and they’ve forgotten you are there....

lynzpynz · 02/05/2020 09:17

What a bunch of twats your DH works with, sound like a nasty wee gang of bullies making snide remarks and giggling behind folks back like school kids. The fact they have a group chat he's excluded from that they slag him off in as well just emphasises it. Don't care if its just over potatoes, their wee clique sounds horrible.

DH I'd personally tell him what's going on (if it was me I'd rather know what they really thought of me), and next time get him to bring in shop bought crap. If anyone questions where his potatoes are just be truthful and say they were getting the piss ripped out of them so decided not to make them anymore. Keep it emotionless and factual.

RabbityMcRabbit · 02/05/2020 09:36

Stick up for him! Why wouldn't you say something in the group chat? It seems your "friends" are more important to you than your DH. I don't get it. Oh, and it's "potatoes" not "potato's", the latter makes my eyes hurt.

Fishfingersandwichplease · 02/05/2020 09:40

I remember someone slagging my dad off once AFTER l had told him he had died!!! Just said oh well you won't have to see him again ...OP stand up for your man!! Don't need to be aggressive but they need to stop!!

Faffandahalf · 02/05/2020 09:49

How did he suggest a buffet and say potatoes for everyone if he’s not in the whatsapp group though? Hmm

diddl · 02/05/2020 09:50

That's still unkind though isn't it Dinky?

Maybe they're jealous that you do something easier & it's loved!

TeddyIsaHe · 02/05/2020 09:50

Wtf! If anyone was taking the piss out of dp in a WhatsApp group I’d shut that down quicker than you can blink. Stand up for him!!

I’m getting weirdly emotional about your dh and his Bombay potatoes now Confused Too long in lockdown!!

RamonatheMisunderstood · 02/05/2020 09:53

Sorry I voted YANBU accidentally Blush

I’d be gently trying to get him to try something else. Or could you suggest a sort of lucky dip where ideas for buffet are put in a hat and you just take what you pull out? Or divide it by sweet and savoury? Sorry if this has already been suggested but I have committed the cardinal sin of not reading full thread, as I was so mortified I accidentally voted!!

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 02/05/2020 09:54

@DinkyDaisy I'd definitely still make it, but with 2 little extra versions in plastic pots "especially for the sisters in law to take home as they like it sooooo much" and make a big thing of it Grin

SuperlativeScrubs · 02/05/2020 09:57

Do you even like your DH??

I'd have shot them all down for that crap, but you are still sitting here not saying anything despite coming here for advice while they continue to rip the piss out of him.

Some wife you are. You should be telling THEM they are a joke. Not him.

Biscuit
NoMorePoliticsPlease · 02/05/2020 09:57

why cant he bring shit like everyone else

There you have it. He is making good stuff they cant be bothered. Do they really deserve his spuds? This reflects very badly on the colleagues and it would be very hurtful. Do Nothing

User202004 · 02/05/2020 09:59

If that was me I would feel incredibly protective of DH and upset on his behalf, I wouldn't be thinking about what to tell him but chastising the others for their shitty behaviour and leaving the group.

12stepCAKE · 02/05/2020 10:03

Tell them to fuck off and say you aren't coming. Stick up for your husband. If this was the other way round people would be saying he was an awful husband and you should re think your relationship. If you are prepared to tell him he is a joke and you think he is as well then maybe he isn't right for you and let someone else enjoy and appreciate his Bombay potatoes

PipGirl404 · 02/05/2020 10:06

Thank fuck I'm not married to you!!

If anyone spoke about my husband like that they'd be getting a swift fuck off.

DinkyDaisy · 02/05/2020 10:29

Thanks @CrazyTimesAreOccurring and @diddl.
I may do the little pots of pudding for my sister in laws! Sure they would appreciate it!

A while back one of my nephews stayed for a sleep over. I did a sausage, mash, sweetcorn and gravy type tea with an angel delight based pudding. He went home and told my brother I was the best cook ever and he had the best meal ever. My brother a bit Master Chef in his cooking and was horrified!

PainintheholeSIL · 02/05/2020 10:40

I'm sure others have already said this but first of all, why the hell aren't you sticking up for your husband? They are being horrible but you are almost as bad for letting them away with it.
Secondly, no way would I be going to the buffet with them.
How would you feel if they were taking the loss out of you and your DH just let them? Woman up and say something!

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