Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH that his potato’s are a joke?

231 replies

LNPW · 01/05/2020 20:57

DH and I used to work together. We don’t anymore but I’m in touch with the old team. Whenever there was a buffet DH used to make Bombay potatoes which he thought were dead popular. But the staff there just take the piss. The are on about a post lock down buffet and the major joke is DHs potatoes and messages such as “bless him”. DH is excited going on about how he will need to make these potatoes. AIBU to tell him he’s a joke?

OP posts:
PhilCornwall1 · 02/05/2020 05:37

OP, if the boot was on the other foot and your husband knew colleagues were taking the piss out of you, what would you want him to do?

I'd be pretty pissed off if people were taking this piss out of my wife and they'd fucking know about it too.

PhilCornwall1 · 02/05/2020 05:38

Oops. Same post as @LEELULUMPKIN

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/05/2020 05:54

You don't want to hurt his feelings but you want to tell him that his ex colleagues think he's a joke?

Sure.

If he no longer works with them, then there's no need for him to go to the post-lockdown buffet.
And as all these wankers have made fun of your DH, why the fuck are you planning on going too? Unless you don't like him either, in which case why the fuck are you with him still?

Such an unpleasant post, with no insight at all.

Lynda07 · 02/05/2020 05:56

I love Bombay potatoes and can't imagine what is wrong with your husband's. Maybe not everyone takes the piss in the sense that they don't like them, just that he always does them. Do they get eaten? I'd suggest he makes something else for a change and see if his Bombay spuds are missed.

Years ago at work someone always brought in fish balls which were a mixture of seasoned mash and fish, fried in breadcrumbs, his mum cooked them. They were absolutely gorgeous and everyone liked them but he would have the mick taken out of him a bit, you know the sort of thing, "Will your mum be making fish balls for us again?". We'd have missed them if they weren't on the menu though!

Original poster
LNPW · 02/05/2020 06:02

I like the potatoes I meant! Not the people!! The people are the reason I left!

DH and I don’t use social media much (hence why I’ve only just got back to this thread!). DH was never in the group as he doesn’t do whatasapp. I’m in it but never post. They’re saying he goes on and on about them like they’re a massive secret and that he only makes them so he can be centre of attention. He made them once, everyone liked them and he kind of got obsessed with making them. I think the issue has come about because he was the one that suggested the buffet and said it would mean Bombay potatoes for everyone. Now they want the buffet but don’t want to hear him go on about the potatoes.

OP posts:
LesleysChestnutBob · 02/05/2020 06:07

I think I would tell my DH I had seen people being rude about him, show him the messages and ask if he wanted to give a response.

carriebreadshaw · 02/05/2020 06:09

The potatoes must get eaten... else he'd have noticed and not make them again.

Also, why are you on the group and he isn't?

I think they sound yum. If I was on the group I'd stand up for him regardless of if I was his wife or not so I think you should.

SpillTheTeaa · 02/05/2020 06:12

I would be saying something not lurking in the background watching them do it then contemplate if I should tell my husband he is a joke.
I would tell them exactly what I think about their bitchy rants and how they're all cunts. Every single one, cunts.

Sad that people would prefer shop brought stuff in rather than someone take the time and effort to go out of his way to make something for them and it be classed as attention seeking.

carriebreadshaw · 02/05/2020 06:15

This is easily a joke he could have been brought in on at the start. Doing it behind his back isn't funny

bulliedintonamechange · 02/05/2020 06:23

Horrible bastards!! Are they nice? That's so cruel and makes me really sad, bullying really

madcatladyforever · 02/05/2020 06:27

“sorry not everyone’s idea of fine dining is a greggs sausage roll” and let them sweat.

Yes this and I'd say nothing to my husband either.

BeMoreZenLike · 02/05/2020 06:34

What are Bombay potatoes? Hmm

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/05/2020 06:46

If it were my husband I would say something. Not to him but to the group of people making fun of him. It wouldn't be nice.

I know DH would tell them all to go shag a dead badger if anyone made fun of me like that.

I advise you to do the same.

I bloody love Bombay potatoes. Tell him to share his recipe here.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/05/2020 06:50

What are Bombay potatoes? Shock

They are a food that is only seconded to aloo gobi.

In other words - HEAVEN.

ponchek · 02/05/2020 06:55

In a way, there's a point in keeping quiet - so you can continue to hear what they say about him. So you can protect him, or at least be aware.

I'd be persuading him to try a different party piece for the buffet ... and would start gently introducing the idea that the people aren't that nice.

But tbh he's better in ignorance of how horrid they are, as he has to work with them.

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 02/05/2020 07:03

He made them once, everyone liked them and he kind of got obsessed with making them. I think the issue has come about because he was the one that suggested the buffet and said it would mean Bombay potatoes for everyone. Now they want the buffet but don’t want to hear him go on about the potatoes

I had a suspicion he might be a bit like that...some men treat doing a bit of cooking as if it was an amazing, astounding special skill that everyone has to gape in wonder at and heap constant praise on.

And if he has suggested a buffet just so he can bring into his potato dish then I can see why people are pissed off. They doesn't mean they are allowed to be horrible behind your DHs back, but it does mean maybe he needs to be gently told to STFU about it.

PhilCornwall1 · 02/05/2020 07:04

But tbh he's better in ignorance of how horrid they are, as he has to work with them.

Agree he has to work with them, but at least he would know what they were like and could just communicate with them regarding work and not engage in anything other than that, in other words politely tell them to stick the buffet up their arse.

StSaulOfSnacks · 02/05/2020 07:11

I hate it when ex colleagues lurk on the work WhatsApp group.

HaveAtEm · 02/05/2020 07:42

People asking ‘What are Bombay Potatoes?’

Clearly they are a dish, made of potatoes...the word ‘Bombay’ in front of ‘potatoes’ might give you a clue that it’s an Indian type dish! If you need further clarification...Google is your friend 👍

BarbaraofSeville · 02/05/2020 07:53

I did wonder who on earth the people who don't know what Bombay potatoes are, but they're probably the sort of people who think that a good buffet consists of sausages rolls, mini sausages, ham sandwiches, pork pies and Scotch eggs because it doesn't occur to them that not everyone wants a plate piled high with nothing but processed pork.

SunshineCake · 02/05/2020 08:10

I'm a meal down so think I'll make Bombay potatoes today. Anyone suggest any good accompaniments please? I'll have my children and husband whose back I always haveWink to feed. Thank you.

crispysausagerolls · 02/05/2020 08:11

Why are you so mean OP

EverdeRose · 02/05/2020 08:28

OP I think you sound lovely but misunderstood stood on this thread.

You're aware you husband is being talked about for something he is only doing in order to make people happy and because he thinks they like him for it

You're thinking should I tell DH so he can stop making the effort for these rude and obnoxious people or spare his feelings but let him go to the time and effort for these arse wipes.

If I were you I'd tell him gently, make sure he knows the potatoes are good and that you want to eat them but not to make any for his nasty workmates.

I wouldn't announce my presence on the group either, it's likely they don't think you're on it anymore and that would bring him into more ridicule.

DinkyDaisy · 02/05/2020 08:34

I would find it hard not to let them known I had seen posts.
I have been 'victim' of something similar with my family.
I do make a certain pudding for certain family occasions and bring it to whatever venue.
Not long ago, my teenage niece asked if I could make it for her Birthday- cue rolling eyes from my 2 sister in laws and giggles. They wouldn't explain themselves when I said to niece, best not because clear my pudding is a joke [with small laugh of my own]. Suddenly, my kids and the cousins rallying round me saying - make it, we like it while adults continued to take the piss.
Well, I was down with the kids for once!!!
Will make it [When niece finally get her party] and they can all take the piss if they want to...

Karwomannghia · 02/05/2020 08:34

It’s a tricky one because I’d he didn’t make them that would be quite a big deal as well and look like he was being a diva. He needs to tone down the self congratulating. But maybe he doesn’t care so just let him go ahead with his theoretical buffet show stopper!