Would you be offended by this?

[circuscat]

A man I know said I was big built and have broad shoulders. No one had ever said this to me before and tbh it's made me feel quite unfeminine and bad about myself.

I am not a skinny woman by any means - size 10, around 5'3. But saying a woman is broad makes me think maybe I must look masculine and unattractive.

I wouldn't be offended because I am broad shouldered with a straight up and down figure. It's who I am.

Was he accurate? Why did he say it

I dont think anyone would say that to me as that is not my shape and if someone did I'd be confused and probably laugh

If I was that shape then I think I'd agree rather then be offended

Men are just more honest about this stuff. Look at the way they talk to each other. I'm sure he didn't mean to offend.

Meh.

Broad shoulders can mean you are strong emotionally.

I hate this. I am fucking sick of people thinking it's ok to make comments on someone's figure/build/appearance.
What does it matter whether it is true or not, as previous posters have asked. It's just out of order.
It's comments like this that have destroyed my self-esteem, although the outside world wouldn't know it.
OP you would not be unreasonable to call him out on it.

In what context? Big build means overweight in my book. My mother and sister have very broad shoulders but do not have big builds at all.

Well that didn't just come out as "Hey Cat, ya know ya got broad shoulders and are big built?".
It really depends on the conversation imo.

Pffft. What does he know. And does he look like Brad Pitt? I'm tall & men always have to comment on it like it's a negative thing. Subtle put downs are down to their own insecurity. Ignore the tw*t.

Also. Size 10 IS slim... No one should be "skinny" unless they have health issues...

No it wouldn't offend me or affect my self-esteem. Its true. I am broad in the shoulders and big built. Its not a bad thing

I suppose it depends on the context and how it was said. Is this someone you are close to? Was it said in response to a question or just volunteered?

I would consider anyone who I didn't know very well volunteering anything unsolicited about my appearance a bit rude and presumptious (and possibly a bit sexist), but not necessarily intended as such.

Where i am from big built is more of a wide hips and maybe the shoulders rather than "fat"

It's an odd thing - as a society we rarely comment on men's bodies unless we know them well enough to do so. Yet women's bodies seem to be fodder for anyone who wants a voice.

5'3" and size 10 isn't large by anyone's standards. I'm 5'8" and size 10 and according to my Mum look like I've not had a decent meal since I left home (patently a lie - I've never missed a meal in my life) but I'd still be offended if someone referred to me as "big" despite the fact that I am quite tall compared to friends.

I'd be flattered, it sounds like you look strong and not like a weedy, wimp of a woman.

That's how I'm built, but I'd tear a strip off anyone who decided to tell me the fact. If it's true, then you already know. If it's not, then WTF? Actually, in any case, WTF?

@OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow.....I'm a size 10 in the UK which is a size 14 in the US. She is 5 foot 3 as I am....We are not slim by any means of the imagination. In fact we are very close to being obese...Very,very close

Size 10 in the UK is a size 6 in the US

Size 10 in UK is 8 in US.

.. or a 6.

How did the conversation go, OP?

I'm 5'2, and a pear shape with proportionately broad hips even though they are size 10. I'm not fat at all, but broad is a fair adjective for that part of my body.

It's not an insult, it's just a type of build.

It depends on the context. I have broad shoulders and a big build as well. I am 5'2" and currently overweight, but even when I'm not I don't have a "waif like" figure. It's not how i'm built. However, yes I probably would be a bit hurt if someone made any comment about my figure

It's not an insult, it's just a type of build.

It can also be a way of saying you are fat and unfeminine.

Why exactly was he making any comment about your appearance op?

It can also be a way of saying you are fat and unfeminine.

Yes but the OP has given literally no context here.

Plus this is Mumsnet, where many people think a simple compliment such as "You're looking well", means "You look fat".