Would you be offended by this?

[circuscat]

A man I know said I was big built and have broad shoulders. No one had ever said this to me before and tbh it's made me feel quite unfeminine and bad about myself.

I am not a skinny woman by any means - size 10, around 5'3. But saying a woman is broad makes me think maybe I must look masculine and unattractive.

Aside from the fact that he is clearly a sexist twat....

....a decent pair of shoulders is terribly important! You can’t carry any clothes off in any decent way with horrible, tiny, slopey little shoulders! You look like one of those silly, winsome Victorian women (I think they were popular then - the queen had little shoulders ergo they were fashionable ). They are my pet hate!

He walks among us. A prince among men.

I wouldn't feel offended, I would assume he was trying to use a put down, or lacked social skills.
I wouldn't get involved with him.

UK size 10 is a US size 6. It's nowhere near obese.

OP, your mistake here is in giving a fuck what this man thinks about your physicality. His mistake is having the nerve to voice his opinion on it in the first place.

Sorry Op but you're size 10 & 5ft3 how on earth are you now thinking that you're masculine & unattractive if you've never thought it before?

Trust yourself on how you look for goodness sake!

If you are a petite size 10 there is no way what he said was even factually correct. He was negging you. Be like Taylor Swift and shake it off.

Sounds like negging to me.

Horrible and manipulative.

Oh, he's totally a dick then. Thanks for coming back to give the context he said it in.

Haven't read the replies but when I was a teenager a boy told me I was built like a prop. It has stayed with me for over 20 years. I am tiny so I know it's not true but it still niggles at me.

Oh that is offensive.
Tell him casually that he has broad hips and narrow shoulders .

From your update he sounds like a dick. He must have known what he was saying had the potential to be hurtful but still felt the need to comment on your body and his sister’s body. He’s thoughtless or deliberately trying to hurt you.

I’ve got broad shoulders (former swimmer) and my Mum said I had broad shoulders when I was a teenager. It was thoughtlessness on her part, she’s not the type to make nasty comments, but it’s always stuck with me.

Did you ask him for an opinion on your body shape? If not he was out of order.

Ah, hes inadequate. Poor lamb.

Some people are tripping over themselves in the race to deem it offensive, with no context at all.

Telling a woman she’s a bit of a porker tends to be pretty offensive, barring fanciful scenarios like the poster hypothesising OP might have been buying a bike. Contact here isn’t really that key. Or maybe I an just from the generation sbrought up not to make personal comments

< old glimmer alert >

CONTEXT, not contact

At a size 10 I would give no shits whatsoever!

"Telling a woman she’s a bit of a porker tends to be pretty offensive"

Except he didn't say that at all did he.
Broad shoulders doesn't mean someone's fat.
Well built 'can' be a euphemism for fat, but doesn't seem likely for a size 10 woman.

"If you are a petite size 10 there is no way what he said was even factually correct."

Why not? A slim person can have a wide frame and broad shoulders.

Oh it doesn't bother me Mike, I'm finally at an age I can really like my figure. These fuckwit blokes who feel its their place to comment on our bodies really do a number don't they? Obnoxious shits.

When I was a teenager a lot of my friends had eating disorders, we were in a club one night and a lad (complete stranger) told one friend she had a big ass, it set her off on a horrific spiral. It was heartbreaking to witness and not be able to convince her how beautiful she really was.

I fucking hate how men can comment on us so flippantly its scummy.

That took a long time to make up. 🙄

You sound like you have a similar build to me. I’m an ex-swimmer and have swimmers shoulders. I accept I have broad shoulders - I wouldn’t have been able to achieve what I did as a professional swimmer without them!

Sometimes it’s not meant as an insult. To say you are well built is not the politest, but I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend with it.

My son is tall and thin, women where he works think it is ok to comment , saying things like, it's alright for you, being thin. He pulls them up on it as he says they wouldn't like it if he commented on their weight. He has always been self conscious about his weight and is always trying to put weight on.

Forgot to add -

I’m 5ft3, size 8-10. Never quite forgiven my mother for telling me once I was too fat to wear a size 10. Gotta love mothers!

I'm your height, size 12 and built like a tank . The opinions of some man? Meh. My body has survived near death due to Illness, produced DD and survived 40 years of diabolical mental health. If people don't like it they are quite welcome not to look at it.

circuscat similar problems?[ hmm]

Is he absolutely tiny? That update, in which he said you're similar to his "big build" sister, suggests he himself must have be build and height of a ten year old boy...

Or is 5ft 3 a typo and you meant that you're 6 ft 3?