Would you be offended by this?

[circuscat]

A man I know said I was big built and have broad shoulders. No one had ever said this to me before and tbh it's made me feel quite unfeminine and bad about myself.

I am not a skinny woman by any means - size 10, around 5'3. But saying a woman is broad makes me think maybe I must look masculine and unattractive.

Because he sounds like a knobber to even make such a bizarre remark, I wouldn’t feel offended. Size 10 and 5ft hardly makes you a contender for female Olympic shot-put!

Is he a Borrower?

sounds like he's trying to neg you. Pay him no mind. Size 10 and 5'3" is definitely not a big build, and broad shoulders are nice. I have them. Always liked them. They balance out my child-bearing hips.

None of his business to comment on your shape. He is out of order.

Wouldn't worry about it

Gwenhwyfar
"You're imagining an insulting comment it seems, a man being teased about a beer belly, maybe. The comment here wasn't insulting. More equivalent to commenting on a man's height."

Some men get very upset about comments on their height.

He was just rude. I know it must have stung (I've been self-conscious about my weight so I definitely get that), but you really will find that you forget about it, as he isn't someone close to you.

I remember that at a church my DH and I were visiting many years ago, one man asked me, 'When is it due?' Meaning that he thought I was pregnant (translation in my head, that I was fat). Even worse, my DH and I had been trying for a baby for nearly a year without success so I already had fertility concerns. (I turned out to be infertile eventually and we adopted instead.)

Making comments about a stranger/asking unsolicited personal questions is always a no-no.

"Making comments about a stranger/asking unsolicited personal questions is always a no-no."

I agree.

I also wonder though why do people take it to heart, especially if it's someone unknown-no, that's not exactly what I mean.

If you've always been happy with your looks, don't let anyone ever cause doubt.

If it's someone unkind being deliberately hurtful that's a different matter.

A man I know made comments about my body that I don't like. Instead of boshing him into the ground using my ultra feminine woman strength or withering him with a thousand yard stare that could stop a charging toddler or a bitchy colleague.

I went on Mumsnet and cried that a man of no account said something mean that I believed diminished me.

Lagartha would have slotted him, you are possibly not 'broad' enough, I suggest weights, martial arts training and an undercut.

Then come back and update.

Tbh, I tend to think that people who make rude and personal comments are badly brought up. I've had my DDs comment on my weight, though they haven't for a while. It never upset me, because I knew they weren't trying to be hurtful, but I always made it clear that they mustn't say such things to people, because it's rude and unkind. As a result, they don't do it.

And if I heard them make rude/personal comments or ask intrusive comments, I would certainly pull them up on it.

he's negging and that is the pathetic action of an inadequate man to try and get your attention because he fancies you and hopes you ruin your self esteem so you have a low enough bar for him to be in with a chance

Was coming on to say exactly this. I'd be giving him a wide berth from now on OP.

How rude. Dont be offended, it's indicative of his manners rather than your physique.

He went on to say she probably has similar problems to me.

So he called your shape a "problem". Yes of course that's offensive.

I've heard this before ie a man/men telling a woman she is 'broad'

It is an insult, designed to bring the woman down. Delivered by woman haters.

I know that sounds strong but it really is. There's no way you could be a size 10 and 'broad' ffs.

He also referred to it as a 'problem' which tells you everything about where he's coming from. Vile.

Really, take no notice. It is a horrible insult designed to strike at self esteem. Says everything about him and nothing about you.

"There's no way you could be a size 10 and 'broad' ffs."

Of course there is. Some people have a wide frame, but are slim. Of course it's possible.

@OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow

No one should be "skinny" unless they have health issues...

Nice slim shaming there! Just so you’re aware, peoole can be naturally “skinny” without any “health issues”, it’s not particularly rare either - you clearly don’t have a medical background if you think otherwise. Replace the word “skinny” with fat and I’m sure you’d be outraged.

I think broad in regard to a woman’s figure might be an inverted triangle figure or an apple shape? Minimal waist to hip definition, narrow hips with wider shoulders in comparison. I think he is essentially saying you have a masculine figure.

He did intend to cause offence but I hope you can try your hardest not to take offence - it’s one person’s shit opinion, he means nothing in the grand scheme, his words are worthless.

Why’s he commenting on your figure anyway? I’m sure he isn’t aesthetically perfect himself, he certainly has an awful personality if he’s rude enough to tell you this. What was he expecting you to do with this information other than feel bad?

Let’s be honest he was probably having a sly dig about how “unsexy” he thinks you apparently are, as if it’s his god given right to pass judgement on women, when in reality you weren’t interested in shagging him to begin with! Good Riddance if he doesn’t like your figure, he’s a knob

Some people say things without thinking how they will come across, try and put it out of your head, I was called robust by my ex and he said it was a compliment, but to me it felt like an insult. A size 10 and 5ft 3 doesnt sound broad or masculine.

‘..I'm a size 10 in the UK which is a size 14 in the US. ‘

Nah!

Sort of bloke you can feel easy about discounting in every way. It’s some kind of jab that is totally stupid and inappropriate whatever your body type- body type is irrelevant and not connected to your value of course.

Some people say things without thinking how they will come across

And some people are just dicks

does this man have model looks then? I can't see any situation where any man (apart from a tailor or clothes designer) even giving this headspace never mind having a converstion about it. He sounds controlling and boring too.

@Gwenhwyfar if a woman's shoulders were broad enough for this to be a noticeable feature she wouldn't fit into size 10 jackets. There is no way this guy wasn't talking bollocks to try and make the OP feel insecure.

A size 10 at 5’3” is nearly obese? Are you taking the piss?

I would not be offended, as it's true about me.
For those saying it can't be true - You can still be a size 10 and have broad shoulders in relation to the rest of your body. Or the bloke may have been tiny with narrow shoulders so op could have seemed broad compared to him, etc etc. it's all about perception!