Am I a terrible mother for hoping nurseries go back soon?!

[MrsMuffins]

Is anyone else reaching the end of their tether with lockdown childcare and hoping childcare settings reopen soon?! DS is at nursery, and even though I’m nervous about the virus, I feel that the overall risk is small and he is missing out on so much - socially especially. He is bored of me, I’m doing my best but he is so hard to keep amused, I feel like I’m just biding time between meltdowns.

I would find it hard having him at home full-time anyway, even if everything was normal, let alone coping in lockdown!

Not at all. Kids are hard work and especially at nursery age when they need so much attention. Plus I work in a nursery and the decontamination procedures we have are pretty regimented, I would agree that the risk is low.

@MTGGamer thank you, I feel mega selfish but honestly it’s doing my head in today (hormones aren’t helpful). I’ve spent loads on craft materials, which he couldn’t care less about, even though he’s always making lovely things at nursery. He’s having meltdowns at the slightest provocation, when we normally barely have any. I’m really starting to feel like being at home with just me and DH (who works all day) is having a detrimental impact on him. Also stressing that he’s due to start school in September, god knows how that will all work!

im hoping they come up with a solution for schools all round tbh, not nurseries in particular. Its less about childcare for me, and more about the fact its such a long time in childrens lives relatively and I dont know about other peoples set ups, but for mine and other families which have SEN, this is not a sustainable set up and the videos and posts I see about kids happily home educating are not how its going down here, thats for sure.

For those saying that the risk is low, this was reported yesterday:

In the paper, published in the British journal The Lancet Infectious Diseases, the researchers said: 'Notably, the rate of infection in children younger than 10 years (7.4 per cent) was similar to the population average (6.6 per cent).
'There was no significant association between the probability of infection and age of the index case.'
This meant that children were as likely as adults to both catch the virus and to spread it.
The researchers added: 'Analyses of how cases are detected, and use of data on individuals exposed but not infected, indicate that infection rates in young children are not lower than the population average (even if rates of clinical disease are).'

@ChloeDecker there is such conflicting evidence on this, I don’t think anyone knows for sure. For me, although your quote suggests children could catch it and spread it, as me and DH are relatively low risk this doesn’t concern me too much, as long as DS doesn’t stand a high risk of becoming ill (ie rates of clinical disease are low in children).

I’ve just read an article suggesting children don’t seem to spread it, according to a review from the Royal College of Paediatricians - www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/04/29/no-case-child-passing-coronavirus-adult-exists-evidence-review/

Nope. I’m looking forward to the dc going back to nursery. Dh and I are working from home with dd 9m and ds 2.5. It is full on. Ds especially. He also really misses nursery. It’d be different I think if we could go and do things (like trips to the zoo or the park) but we can’t.

Not U at all. I’d send DD back in tomorrow if they were allowed to open. It’s so much better for her than being stuck here.

there is such conflicting evidence on this, I don’t think anyone knows for sure.

I agree no one knows for sure-how can we with only a few weeks into a lockdown situation and majority of children at home. Yet posters are still saying ‘low risk’ with such conviction. I specifically stated that the research came out yesterday to highlight the fact that previous research was based on short time scales and lack of relevant data at the time was all we had. The fact that new research is coming out and still to come out means that making rash decisions such as children going back to nursery/school too early is a dicey decision to make still.

It is hard work, I'd be going spare if my kids were still really young and needing my attention constantly.

I think now that the CMA has said it will pursue businesses charging when no service is being provided and in particular "nurseries" then this may force their hands.

I do feel for you but I think nurseries must be the worst place at the moment, on par with a care home. The child may not develop symptoms but they could pass it to vulnerable family members.
When my kids were at nursery they were poorly for most of the time.

It won't be long until some harbinger of doom comes along to say childcare settings won't reopen until January but YANBU. My son is 18 months and does 2 days a week. He seems happy enough at home if it isn't raining and he can play in the garden, but he eats more varied food and does more activities there than he does at home.

I am struggling without my NCT friends and his grandparents.

If you are then I am as well. My DS is 2 so he's very hard to entertain. I'm the other way round from some in that I'm the one working from home all day any my DH is looming after him as he's been furloughed.

@ChloeDecker I hear you, but the evidence isn’t just being drawn from UK studies - we have other countries who are ahead of us by several weeks to look at. I don’t think they should be going back imminently, but a timescale to work towards would be nice! Additionally, I don’t see how we can even think about getting people back to work in any significant way without childcare.

I wish dd's nursery was open. Sadly I don't think it will. She is due to start school in August.
Every morning she asks to go, i tell her its closed
She then asks to go to the park, i tell her its closed.
She's now decided to have a tantrum every morning with her nursery backpack on standing at the door.

God no, I feel the same. I'm pregnant with my second and exhausted and feel terrible. My 2yo is bored out of her mind and together with my lack of energy and need to work from home we've had waaaaay too much screen time. I've run out of ideas to keep her entertained - and we don't even have a garden to pop her in for an hour or two.

I’m so torn. I love having the extra time with him. He’s just turning 15 months and will probably start walking while we’re locked down which is so special and something we’d probably have missed out on if he was at nursery.

On the other hand he’s incredibly hard work and he loved nursery. They were so lovely and he adored the people.

I’m also in a very privileged position because my parents moved in to help with childcare as we’re both working full time. I’d really struggle without them.

I work in a nursery and were really hoping everyone is fed up and comes back 😂

My daughter is 2, and I totally sympathise! I’m 34w pregnant so wouldn’t send her back even if it did open because I’m vulnerable, but the days are incredibly long and you’re not a bad mother for wanting some respite at all! It’s lovely to have time with her at home (DH a doctor so it’s just the two of us in the day), but her attention span is very short, and it’s so hard to fill the time! I feel guilty she is having lots of screen time but I’m just really struggling to get through the days.

I'd take DD, 16 months, there the minute she wakes up from her nap if I could. Not sure who loves nursery more me or her.

No, my daughter’s stayed open and I sent her back two weeks ago, she’s so much happier now.

I sympathise and as a single mum of a two year old, I also can't wait for my childminder to reopen her doors. At least once every day, I call out her name in a forlorn, weepy voice.

Your defo not a bad mum I think a lot of parents want their kids back to school and nursery for various reasons

I do think nursery’s and the younger years at school will be the last to go back

Older kids on primary will understand social distancing to an extent as will high school kids
It’s very difficult to get nursery kids to social distance

The SECOND nursery is open, I shall be marching my children there, then coming home and going to sleep.

Sounds like he's missing interaction with his peers. I'm in the same boat but not finding it an issue yet. That's probably because she has her siblings.