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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I a terrible mother for hoping nurseries go back soon?!

230 replies

MrsMuffins · 01/05/2020 12:22

Is anyone else reaching the end of their tether with lockdown childcare and hoping childcare settings reopen soon?! DS is at nursery, and even though I’m nervous about the virus, I feel that the overall risk is small and he is missing out on so much - socially especially. He is bored of me, I’m doing my best but he is so hard to keep amused, I feel like I’m just biding time between meltdowns.

I would find it hard having him at home full-time anyway, even if everything was normal, let alone coping in lockdown!

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 01/05/2020 13:57

Just for you @DroppedBoxxedRuth ♟

LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 01/05/2020 14:00

Nah course not! If your child is use to be in a nursery and around other children it's hard when that's suddenly taken away. Especially as you cant distract them with going to other places. Also it's getting the balance if working from home as well.

Work in a nursery and know be a fair few parents feeling the same now. Wouldn't judge if they did!

Eeyoresstickhouse · 01/05/2020 14:01

@SoloMummy I think that is out of order. During holiday times we are not trying to work 35 hours a week from home at the same time as looking after our children. We don't have a garden but we are out most weekends and also the holidays. This is not just us looking after our children. This is trying to do childcare, working full time, running a home and all trying to avoid a virus.

I work term time and we have a great time as all my attention can be on my child. This is not normal times!

Thefaceofboe · 01/05/2020 14:02

I hope parents understand how hard it is for nursery workers now Wink

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/05/2020 14:03

@SoloMummy you've said similar things on other threads, also criticising working mothers. So shut the fuck up.

DogBowlSpaghetti · 01/05/2020 14:03

I am public sector but not a key worker so don’t qualify for childcare or for furlough.

My DD is a little over one and have been told it’s “business as usual” and reminded some people also have to homeschool when I’ve reached out.

Seriously fed up.

Original poster
MrsMuffins · 01/05/2020 14:06

@Thefaceofboe I never doubted how hard nursery workers work! I honestly couldn’t work in a nursery if it was the last job on earth Grin I’m in awe of then, and so so grateful for all the wonderful opportunities they provide for my DS, and all the love they give him.

OP posts:
LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 01/05/2020 14:06

Nope, YANBU. My DD is 2.9 and i now i know why I pay a shed full of money to her nursery Grin
We're potty training too! Such fun Gin

user1468953505 · 01/05/2020 14:10

I'm personally loving lockdown with my two daughters aged 13 and 9 but I have said many times that had this happened when they were little I would have already lost my mind.

Runningfar · 01/05/2020 14:10

If you're a bad mother then I am too.

I can't wait for my dc to go back to school, and I say that as someone who usually loves the school holidays and doesn't want them to go back.

This is just a shit situation. Our home is becoming claustrophobic. We can't do any of the things we would usually do. I've tried to make it as fun as possible but it's been 6 weeks fgs!

Fedhimtotigers · 01/05/2020 14:12

I'm writing my childminder a love letter.

If I had to rank who I miss the most I think she'll come above a majority of my family.

Runningfar · 01/05/2020 14:13

I'm personally loving lockdown with my two daughters aged 13 and 9 but I have said many times that had this happened when they were little I would have already lost my mind.

My eldest is 12 and has been no trouble and is on the whole great company. Plus we can go for a nice civilised walk.

I also have a 4 year old and that is getting very testing now for all kinds of reasons.

Fedhimtotigers · 01/05/2020 14:15

I am loving some of it.
I love not rushing around, I love the time and the fact we've all been able to live a slower life. I've loved having DH home! And even more so his cooking.

But I would love one day to just clean the house. I would honestly do nothing but clean. Just put everything straight.

Original poster
MrsMuffins · 01/05/2020 14:16

@SoloMummy sorry you’re a bit of a dick. But also, I LOVE spending time with my DS. He is my favourite person in the world. I adore taking him to new places, watching him have new experiences, chatting about the things we’ve done. But, I do not love spending 24/7 in the same space with him. I need some space, he needs some time away from me, and just generally some input from someone who isn’t me or DS. He needs his peers. He needs new toys and experiences to stimulate his imagination. The ‘best’ parent in the world would be struggling with this.

OP posts:
Runningfar · 01/05/2020 14:17

^I have to say that this pandemic has really highlighted the parents who should not have had children.
So many cannot manage or cope with their own children.
The sad fact is that most of those bleating have not been with their children full-time outside of holiday times since maternity leave.
This truly shows that all of those who have children and just plink into various childcare etc, perhaps shouldn't be the norm. I hope that moving forward people stop having children as almost a right and possession that they have and then return to their pre- child lives.^

Why don't you stop being such a huge cunt? I reckon your mother should have thought twice before having you, because you've turned out to be a right gobshite.

For your info I'm a fucking fabulous mother. These are just shit circumstances.

SoloMummy · 01/05/2020 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

rottiemum88 · 01/05/2020 14:19

I hope that moving forward people stop having children as almost a right and possession that they have and then return to their pre- child lives.

@solomummy out of interest, how do you financial support your family? Presumably somebody in your household is having to earn a living? Or am I, as a taxpayer and mother myself, doing that for you?

LolaLollypop · 01/05/2020 14:23

Ditto OP! I also can't wait for 2.5yr old DD to go back there. For her sake and mine. She adores her key worker and asks after her every day. I'm also running low on creative ideas to stop her watching Paw Patrol all day. Although I do have good days and bad. Yesterday wasn't so great but today we have done a few fun activities and she's now napping so I'm quite hapoy with putting the TV on after her nap knowing it's the first thing she's watched today.

Her nursery is actually inside our local park too so we cant even walk round the sodding park without seeing it. It's open for key workers so I can't risk her seeing her friends/teachers in there so we are avoiding that area!!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/05/2020 14:23

OP you're not a terrible mother, Solomummy is just a terrible person.

ViciousJackdaw · 01/05/2020 14:24

@SoloMummy Perhaps the women going back to work do so because they do not wish to sponge off others? Perhaps they go back because they wouldn't be able to feed the children otherwise? Perhaps they go back because they have an identity outside being a 'mummy' (which is something you clearly don't have...)?

Whatever the reason for a woman returning to work is, it does not detract from the fact that you are a massive cunt.

GoldenOmber · 01/05/2020 14:25

Even Mary bloody Poppins took the kids out to places.

happyandsingle · 01/05/2020 14:25

I work in a nursery and I miss the children so much! So used to giving cuddles and being with them I just hope when nursery comes back we dont loose to many children I would really miss them.

RoosterPie · 01/05/2020 14:30

I would very happily have my daughter at home with me full time if we weren’t on lockdown and I could entertain her by taking her to the park etc.

@SoloMummy My opinion is you’re a terrible person to try and kick down people who are struggling in difficult circumstances.

DogBowlSpaghetti · 01/05/2020 14:32

@SoloMummy

Do you usually stay at home bar one small piece of local exercise a day?

You do recognise that this pandemic is different in many respects to everyday life? You get we’re in a pandemic and our way of life has vastly altered?

Comparing life now, to life generally with children is like comparing apples with pears....

MerryDeath · 01/05/2020 14:34

i have coped until this week but the last couple of days have been really hard. DS is obviously sick to death of seeing nothing but me, house and his baby brother and although unable to articulate it so doesn't moan etc is just acting out and wrecking shit the moment i have to leave the room.