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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I a terrible mother for hoping nurseries go back soon?!

230 replies

MrsMuffins · 01/05/2020 12:22

Is anyone else reaching the end of their tether with lockdown childcare and hoping childcare settings reopen soon?! DS is at nursery, and even though I’m nervous about the virus, I feel that the overall risk is small and he is missing out on so much - socially especially. He is bored of me, I’m doing my best but he is so hard to keep amused, I feel like I’m just biding time between meltdowns.

I would find it hard having him at home full-time anyway, even if everything was normal, let alone coping in lockdown!

OP posts:
Wired4sound · 01/05/2020 14:34

@Runningfar That is one of the best comments I’ve ever read on Mumsnet Grin

I just can’t imagine why @SoloMummy is solo?!

I’m with you op, open the nurseries Boris ffs!!

lachy · 01/05/2020 14:35

@SoloMummy & @DroppedBoxxedRuth what a delightful pair you are.

DH and I are both key workers. DD has been at nursery all through this crisis and like many many other parents I'm in the position of damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Nursery has given my child stability and routine, it has allowed me and DH to keep on working.

I dearly wish we could all have self isolated, but it just isn't feasible.

You can name call and be as goady fucker-ish as you like but I bloody guarantee that neither of you are perfect, why don't you fuck off with your judgement and spite?

Russellbrandshair · 01/05/2020 14:38

Yes, I think you are

FFS this pandemic has really shown people's true colours

There's a virus killing lots of people, for no reason some live and some die, and you can't wait to feck your ds out there 🙄*

The posters saying their DC are happier in nursery/school, maybe take a look at why they're happier there than at home with their 'dp

waves to the dementor! there’s one in every thread! ♟
Someone who is practically wetting themselves to crush people’s spirit and tell them that if they express any feelings of being fed up with lockdown they are “murderers” and “PEOPLE ARE DYING”. I’ll give you something to get really angry about- I bought a non essential curly wurly with my shopping yesterday!

Di11y · 01/05/2020 14:45

it's just so hard. I'm drowning trying to work, home school v difficult 6yo and look after 2.5yo with DH also WFH.

DH has two risk factors so not rushing to send the girls anywhere but if he didn't they'd definitely already be at the childminder (both key workers)

Mysterian · 01/05/2020 14:46

I work in a nursery. Currently on furlough. Lots of good reasons for opening up but I am concerned about social distancing. I'm in a baby room. No social distancing or mask wearing possible. We can clean things they suck, but hugs and cuddles are a fundamental part of the job.

Tootletum · 01/05/2020 14:47

We all have to learn to live with the risk I'm afraid. This used to be the way before vaccination and antibiotics, and still is for many countries with no healthcare. So look on the bright side, were levelling the playing field with ...the DRC!

Cremebrule · 01/05/2020 15:00

I am desperate for my older one to return to nursery. She has always been very active and sociable and is missing her friends. I have lots of a dilemma with the baby. I’m under no illusion that for 1 year olds under 18m most are normally better off at home. Lock-down has been good for her and utterly shit for the older one.

For all the sanctimonious bellends saying about how people wishing for nursery opening are bad parents...

  1. many parents are trying to work and manage children at home. Nursery aged children need constant supervision and input so you’re either doing a shit job at work or a shit job at parenting or both at the same time. It is hard and I think it would be better for the children to have quality input rather than stressed out parents worrying about work.
  2. there is no respite, no option to potter around a garden centre, softplay or go for a drink.
  3. The 3-4 year olds are not quite old enough to manage Skype play dates well but many are missing their friends and social interaction. They can’t read and write to their friends. Mine has been so sad and it’s horrible to see.
  4. even with a garden, cosmic yoga etc I’m worried mine isn’t being active enough.
  5. the baby gets in the way of the older one she tries to destroy stuff. The baby in turn isn’t getting the 1:1 attention she needs. My days with both of them have always been tricky but we’ve been used to going out and knowing the older one was getting plenty of time to practice fine motor skills, writing etc at nursery so our days at home were free for us to do as we wished. Now I feel pressure to make sure she’s doing learning as well as play.
  6. nursery aged children can be wonderful but they can be bloody hard work and may still have sleep issues.

So no, wishing for nursery isn’t because I shouldn’t have had children, it’s because my child loves and needs it.

DroppedBoxxedRuth · 01/05/2020 15:02

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Wired4sound · 01/05/2020 15:04

Ooh she’s here again....booo hiss....Grin

dietcoker · 01/05/2020 15:05

@DamnShesaSexyChick whereabouts is your nursery......curious as to how/why it's stayed open.....only to key workers kids?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/05/2020 15:08

"This current climate" is extremely low risk for children.

Radical idea here, but if you're sick of seeing these threads, don't click on them.

BlingLoving · 01/05/2020 15:08

Parents who don't seem to give a toss about their DC because they're finding it tough.

Aaah, let me guess - even if schools open you'll be keeping your DC home until there's a vaccine?

The unspoken assumption to anyone saying they can't wait for schools and nurseries to reopen is that when they do, it's because it's considered safe, or at least relatively so. In the same way that right now, I probably COULD take my DC with me to Tesco - our local isn't stopping parents with children - but I don't because I know that it's not safe and the guidelines are clear that if I can avoid it, I do. But once schools do eventually reopen, the premise will be that it is considered low and/or acceptable risk.

Cremebrule · 01/05/2020 15:09

DroppedBoxxedRuth Why do you think people don’t give a toss about their DC? For a lot of people it’s because they do that they want a return to normality. There has to be a balance. Unfortunately nothing is risk free. It seems like the risk of a poor outcome from Corona is low for young children but the negative effects from lock-down are growing day by day. I’ve heard so many parents describing their children as unhappy and unsettled. Some children will be happy pottering at home (my youngest is fine) but others will not be. Others will suffer later down the line if their parents’ jobs collapse and they are not financially stable.

DroppedBoxxedRuth · 01/05/2020 15:11

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Thisisworsethananticpated · 01/05/2020 15:13

It’s hard
Mine basically watch YouTube all day
Which worries me BUT allows
Me to work a bit

DogBowlSpaghetti · 01/05/2020 15:14

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BlingLoving · 01/05/2020 15:14

well then @droppedBoxxedRuth - you're on the wrong thread. You should go to the threads about whether you'll send your children back when the schools reopen and you can tell people there they're wrong.

GoldenOmber · 01/05/2020 15:15

If I was a shit parent this would be easier, I could just shut the kids in the living room with some snacks and get on with my job without worrying about their development or happiness.

timeforawine · 01/05/2020 15:15

I'm with you OP, my daughter also starts school in September and i really really hope she can have some more time at nursery with her friends before she does, for her getting back to her routine and some proper learning, and for my sanity :-D

Runningfar · 01/05/2020 15:16

Why don't you bog off back to your bathroom and let the rest of us child murderers have a little moan.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/05/2020 15:17

@DroppedBoxxedRuth I'm a fabulous parent thanks. I don't spend my days in the bathroom cursing out my DS. And I'm looking forward to him being able to go back to school and see his friends.

DogBowlSpaghetti · 01/05/2020 15:17

If I was a shit parent this would be easier, I could just shut the kids in the living room with some snacks and get on with my job without worrying about their development or happiness.

You’ve misunderstood. Those missing childcare are shit parents. But locking yourself away from your kids is the epitome of perfect parenting. So crack on and indulge!

Pertella · 01/05/2020 15:18

droppedBoxxedRuth is obviously one of those parents who just let their child sit in front of a screen all day anyway

DogBowlSpaghetti · 01/05/2020 15:18

Who knows what they’re doing when she’s cursing in the bathroom?

Russellbrandshair · 01/05/2020 15:19

Nope @Russellbrandshair just fucking sick of seeing these type of threads

I’m sick and tired of reading of sanctimonious BS from miserable people like you who seem to take pleasure in insulting and belittling people. Your posts are utterly vile and it looks like a great many agree with me so yes you are indeed a “dementor” ♟