Help- DD12 sent nudes! Should I go to the police?

[Tinkerbellone]

My DD12 was pressured via instagram to send nudes. The person was not anyone she knew but they direct messaged her.
She was bombarded with explicit texts and pictures. She felt harassed to send.
She was terrified.
We have always had talks about e-safety. Privacy.
What do I do? She's tearful and emotional. I've stayed calm and listened.
Do I call the police? Will social services be involved? I admit I'm scared as to what to do!

Id act as fast as possible. The more time you wait the further the images will have potentially been spread.

Poor you and your daughter. This could happen to anyone and they are just too young and immature to be exposed to the things they’re using. That’s not a criticism - it’s almost impossible not to use them. I hope the police are helpful.

What she did is also a crime so be prepared for that
Technically yes. So is drug running, but people groomed into dealing by county lines networks are treated as exploited children, not drug dealers. In this case, this child was also exploited, and will be treated as a victim, not a criminal.

Can I also suggest your DD contact childline for some support and help on what to do if she’s comfortable doing so. They are a wonderful charity who will be able to support her with this and give practical advice. Hope your both ok

@UnderTheIroningBoard yes, everyone has been saying that.

You are a great mum. You have a great kid who obviously trusts you. Well done for having a great relationship. Hope the police / NSPCC/ Childline are all able to help you both

I feel very uncomfortable that someone would post about this type of topic (on AIBU of all places) then seemingly disappear.

Maybe the OP is overwhelmed by the ludicrous and frightening contentions that her daughter will have a legal case of her own to answer, or sickened by the insidious suggestions that she is somehow at fault for her own abuse.

Your daughter is an innocent victim and will be treated as one.
The sooner this is investigated by the police, the sooner other girls can be protected from this evil creature.

@LouiseCollina no-one has said the daughter will have a legal case to answer. Those who have pointed out she has also technically have broken the law have also reassured the OP that the police will not pursue legal action.

Definitely go to the police. She is being groomed and blackmailed.
The police will deal with the abuse. In our area she whe would get referred to the Child Exploitation team who would do so8work on to educate her and to help keep her safe.
She is not the first and sadly no where near the last child that this has happened to.
You are NOT to blame
DD is NOT to be blamed.
You will both get through this but you need help.

www.theupstreamproject.org.uk/prevent/children-and-young-people-in-the-online-world

www.parentsprotect.co.uk/

Be thankful she came to you so quickly after this happened.

I'm glad you're going to the police. It's really important to do so.

@Lockheart Yes some have, but not all. There have been some very disturbing responses peppered throughout this thread, which I absolutely would not expect if I were in the OP's position.

Go to the police, OP. She’s done the right thing in telling you, and I think for you the best thing would be to report it. Of course this doesn’t mean you’re not a good mum, I’m sure you’re fantastic, you’re daughter is just at an age where they sometimes learn things the wrong way. I hope you and your daughter will be okay xx

I would honestly talk to your child’s pastoral lead at school (form tutor, head of year etc) first. They deal with this all the time & will have the right info/contacts etc at the police
They will talk you & your DD through it. Your DD might be more comfortable talking to somebody she knows about it than a random member of the police – even if she is uncomfortable, she won’t get into trouble from them – they are there to help. The pastoral staff, safeguarding lead etc will be working ...

Another one saying go to the police.

Completely feel for you and your daughter and as others have said @Weregoingonanadventure is completely wrong and unhelpful and I say this as a teacher regularly invoved in safeguarding issues.

I hope you have gone to the police since your 1st post. This is a dangerous situation where unless this was done by someone her age, she is being groomed by a pedophile . She is not in trouble but needs protection now, from you and from the police. Do not delay as time is of the essence, whoever is targeting her will not stop until police get involved.

All the people who work for CHILDREN'S social care, the police, CEOP and school safe guarding leads are saying it is not a crime as she has been groomed and coerced and is under the age where she could consent to anything sexual. I think on balance I would listen to them OP. Your daughter is not an offender but a victim of coersion and it is child sexual abuse. It is very different from an older child voluntarily sending a sexual image to a peer which is what the other posters are talking about in regards to technically a crime. She has not committed this.

@Weregoingonanadventure is absolutely correct. The sending or receiving of nude images, includingntopless images of a female, is a crime and will be recorded as such. It is up to the police to determine what action to take against the child.
childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/sexting/
It is naive of people to say it's not a crime because she's only 12, or because she was persuaded to do so. She actually doesn't know who she's sent the pics to. It could easily be another child, male or female.

Op, I have dealt with this at school as safeguarding lead. We would inform social services in the first instance, and they in turn would also inform the police. Of the several instances where it has happened, the police have not taken things further the child.
Youndo, however, need to act very quickly as these images are now in the public domain.

@ToelessPobble

The only problem with your post is that you're assuming the other person is an adult, at least older than the DD. She said she didn't know who it was.

It is a very unhelpful bunfight to have either way, as OP's dc will be treated as a victim of sexual exploitation and abuse in this case.
OP could receive support from the police, social services, the NSPCC helpline, CEOP or even her school ( if it was open). This is the key message to focus on.

Take some time to appreciate being a mum that your DD felt safe with to ask for help, that’s fantastic, take all the rl help and support you can and don’t beat yourself up over relaxing the rules during this weird time.

Those who have pointed out she has also technically have broken the law have also reassured the OP that the police will not pursue legal action. Well that's big of them. All I can see is people indulging in a big helping of schadenfreude.

Lets hope the OP got some proper advice. I've reported the thread, as there is nothing helpful on it for the OP and others looking for help would be put off from asking the police.