About H seeking attention during DD’s home schooling video?

[10daysofrain]

Backstory is H has a bit of form for being a performance parent (only attentive or doing any childcare when others are watching.) DD is 6 and is having twice- daily catch ups on work with her class via zoom.

H keeps getting on the screen when he can, either in the background doing something unnecessary and looking to see if he is on the screen, or coming into shot and either doing “antennae” behind DD’s Head or pretending to be a “monster,” often when the class are in the middle of something else. I can see that DD finds it annoying and a bit embarrassing. H thinks as she is quite a shy little girl it takes the attention off her.

I keep telling H off for doing this (and physically batting his hands away when they come up behind DD,) and he is very upset with me and says I “constantly stifle and dismiss” him. I don’t think that’s the case.

I appreciate this sounds like a bit of a weird thread. I don’t know if I am so jaded by H’s behaviour over the years that I am disproportionately irritated by something quite innocent

Poor DD that must be so Embarassing for her. The teacher must think that he is insane.

Like LizzieLoafer, I feel this is the tip of the iceberg.

Jesus Christ what a fucking irritating parent - this is one of my ultimate peeves - someone trying to attention seeking from a child. I mean grow the fuck up. I would personally be locking the door when she’s in there. What a twat. Also - does he know how inappropriate it is - seeing the other children on the video - some parents might have an issue with a dad (twat) being on video.

Is she really a bit shy or is she just constantly dealing with a desperately insecure attention-seeking father all the time messing with her and embarrassing her?

This is a really good point.

Paint "knobhead" on his forehead while he's asleep. Then send him to do the grocery shopping. He'll really get to be the centre of attention then.

And put a background up for your DD when she is on zoom. At least that way twatface can't visibly interrupt.

Give him a biscuit and some milk and sit him in the corner, silly little boy that he is.

Really shy children don't need anybody looking at idiots behind them, your little girl might be really uncomfortable he needs to stop can he not zoom his own friends

Christ, what an absolute dickhead . I'm very surprised you haven't been contacted by the school, ours were very clear that no parent was to take part in any way (even by asking questions offscreen or interacting with their child while the lesson was in session).
Arsing about on screen is beyond the pale.

Realistically the child will be having her Zoom meetings in whichever room that works best in. She probably isn't allowed to have it in her bedroom away from her parents.

I am going to assume that the husband is usually a nice, sensible man and just in this one thing is being silly. Is it worth a separate, grown up conversation about this?

Something along the lines of distracting the children and teacher online is actually making school in lockdown harder for your child, rather than easier and that it's important that we remember that that the child's Zoom sessions are for her rather than for us.

What a knob head. Why would you do this? She’s not shy, she’s ashamed. Ask the teacher to contact him and tell him off like the pathetic child he is. If there was an actual child doing this in class they would be dealt with for disruptive behaviour.

Your poor child - how embarrassing.

Tell the knobhead to grow up and stop being such a twat.Teaching by Zoom must be hard enough without an overgrown class clown interrupting the proceedings.

I hope the teacher or HT rings up and has words with him.

How embarrassing for you too. If he's always like this why are you still with him? I think I'd have buried the stupid twat under the patio before now.

How embarrassing, what a dick. You can be 100% sure that the other parents and teachers are slagging him off over this.

^"H thinks as she is quite a shy little girl it takes the attention off her."
Well clearly, it doesn't. It draws attention to her.

This really is shit 'parenting' on his part.

Strange behaviour for an adult surely. Why does he want to be involved? Could she use the laptop in her room for the teaching sessions? I feel sorry for your DD to be honest, really embarrassing for her. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to back off and grow up.

Surely he’s just drawing more attention to her, not distracting. He just wants the attention himself. I couldn’t be with someone like that

He sounds like a bully actually. Shy children need nurturing, not to deal with fucking arseholes.

This is one of those times you should absolutely show this dickhead the thread.

What a dick

What a knob. Is he that desperate for attention he'd disrupt dozens of children's learning to get it?

This is one of the reasons I've got reservations about online live teaching.

Sheesh, he sounds horrendous. And I assume this is just the tip of the iceberg?

OP I can imagine it might be overwhelming to read all this, given that you weren't even sure if you were over-reacting

The bottom line is that this is deeply strange behaviour. You owe it to your daughter to stop it, even if it means your husband goes off in a strop.

You poor DD must be mortified. It's not normal for an adult to need so much attention.

How embarrassing for your poor DD.

I'm amazed the teacher hasn't been in contact to tell him to stop. If he won't listen to you could you contact the teacher and ask if the school could tell parents to ensure they are not visible in zoom catch-ups? Or even better just tell him he's distracting the children, embarrassing his daughter and needs to stop!

My uncle was like this. I used to think he was cool and fun but then when I got to about 8/9 I realised he was an absolute tool. And so embarrassing. But he provided some amazing entertainment! My cousin and I were the same age and have always been really close and share the same group of friends.

The uncle used to be a "skater" and his son was also in to skating. We used to hang out at the local skate park when we were about 13. One dad the uncle turned up to pick us up and just so happened to have skates in the car. He watched some of the older kids doing some tricks and decided to give some advice and show them how it was really done. He ended up getting his skates on and started to do his own stuff. He then managed to spectacularly fuck up. He tried to do some sort of trick along a rail and completely missed, toppled down a ramp and then when he managed to stand up he some how ended going up another ramp and flying up in the air before landing on his back. He winded himself and lay there beating his chest and making a weird growl noise. Literally everyone was stood there staring at him not sure what to do.

Another time he came to pick us up from a youth club on a Friday. I was learning to play guitar and he walked in (instead of sitting in the car like all the other parents and half an hour early) and he of course decided he was going to "jam" with me and the others. Well he said the guitar I was playing wasn't tuned in properly so took it off me and encouraged everyone to gather around and watch him. I watched as he fiddled and twiddled with the amp so it sounded "extra cool and rocky" and then he went on to snap 2 strings on the guitar.

He was an idiot. I felt so sorry for my Aunty who had to put up with him and was secretly pleased when she divorced him.

I had to then put up with him crashing our nights out because he was only available to see my cousin at these times. He just wanted to stay young and it became creepy when he moved in with his other niece (his sisters daughter) and her student friends.

Your husband sounds like he's on the same path as him!

Oh your poor DD! Have you just outright told him he's making a fucking twat of himself and embarrassing DD?

Christ, what a tedious prick.