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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To email my ex a final time?

240 replies

Jojobar · 28/04/2020 09:52

I was in a relationship for a number of years which ended recently.

He was living at my house during the lockdown period, which he didn't like as he doesn't like it here. He started behaving a bit off-ish to me, not coming to bed til 3am, that kind of thing. I instigated a conversation which he didn't like , the discussion became quite heated and he ended up putting his hands on me and poking me. Didn't hurt but it was more the significance of it. He stormed out and went home (lives over 3 hours away).
He contacted me a week later and tried to say there was fault on both sides, we were both as bad as each other. I said that I needed him to apologise for what he'd done to me and how it had upset me, he needed to acknowledge it was wrong and he wouldn't do it again (for context he is 6 inches taller and about 9st heavier than me).

He refused and asked if I was really going to throw away our relationship for such a pathetic reason. I said that I couldn't see a way to move forward in the absence of an apology/ acknowledgment. He said have it your own way...that was the end of the call. That was 2 weeks ago and I've not heard from him since.

I really hoped he would see it from my POV, but I don't think he can. Even up to the last few days I've been hoping he might have some kind of lightbulb moment where he realises he's being unfair but he's so entrenched into believing he is never wrong that I don't think that can happen.

I am really quite angry at him for throwing everything away over something so minor - I willingly apologise for things all the time, am always trying to see the other persons viewpoint. Our relationship has not been plain sailing, he was diagnosed with cancer after we'd been together only 6 months (he's fine now thankfully), he's suffered multiple bereavements, lost a job, I've helped him moved house 4 times, supported him through a difficult court case...yes I have ups and downs but nothing on that scale. He also cheated on me last year, as a result of which we split up for a number of months.

I just feel like I supported him through all that, which wasn't easy, forgave his infidelity (and all the shit which came with it as the woman he was seeing then started stalking and harassing me) and he couldn't make this small effort for me? It really sticks in my craw, and I want to write to him and tell him.

And also to call him out on some of his other bullshit, like he said more than once that we'd get engaged yet no ring ever appeared. Even last year after all the shit he and that psycho put me through, I said if we were going to get back together I'd want some kind of commitment, he agreed. Said something like hoe it was quid pro quo for giving him another chance. But nothing happened.

I dont think whatever I write to him will change the outcome, but I just want to have my say. Or as he would say, insist on having the last word, because apparently I see all arguments as wining and I have to win. His words. I just want to call out his bullshit because even if due to his 20 odd years of habitual weed smoking he can't remember what he's said, I bloody well can.

So WIBU to email him?

OP posts:
EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 28/04/2020 18:18

Email him?
It would be more productive to email a locksmith to get the locks changed.

Rowan8 · 28/04/2020 20:09

I can’t imaging spending a moment with someone like that.. I wish someone would wave that wand and stop so many women accept so much BS from deadbeats... 🙏🏼

Jojobar · 28/04/2020 20:29

MzHz Don't worry, my resolve remains strong. I've not started the letter yet but as and when I do, it will remain a draft word document, quite probably for ever. My plan currently is to leave it once written for at least a month, maybe longer. I'm hoping that in that time I'll be happy simply to delete it unsent.

I do want to have the last word but I don't think it's going to achieve anything. He won't be sorry because he doesn't see he's wrong. And if me explaining it to him, and that it will be the end of our relationship otherwise doesn't make him, then 1 letter or a hundred won't make any difference.

He will either now be telling himself I'm a demanding bitch and it's all my fault or he will be expecting me to contact him and back down, because in his mind we will always be together and nothing either of us do is unforgiveable (except it's generally me forgiving him). He genuinely thinks we are star crossed lovers. Although we're too bloody old for R&J, and we all know that didn't end well for anyone concerned!

The upshot is I'm not contacting him; I will write down my thoughts but that's now purely to get them on paper than with a view to emailing...

And he doesn't have a key so no need for locksmiths. That's a plus.

OP posts:
StrangeLookingParasite · 28/04/2020 20:34

This hints at OP being so superior to so many other women.

I don't agree with this at all - she isn't self-effacing and full of false modesty, which aggravates a lot of people.

MzHz · 28/04/2020 21:36

You know what the worst thing is? Women pretending to be dumber than they are so they don’t intimidate one of Da Menz.

Be proud of women who have the strength to use the brains they have! Why should someone be with someone who has no idea how they think, or have no desire to know, no curiosity etc.

Of course we want someone we can relate to and someone who relates to us!

MzHz · 28/04/2020 21:40

You can have the last word. Have the conversation (our loud) where you are! Tell him everything you want to say, scream at him if it helps, or just calmly explain how he made you feel and how you’re better than that, whatever it takes

Writing the letter will help if the above seems to bonkers, it’s about allowing yourself to process the feelings, feel them; the rage, the hurt, the anger, deal with them and let them go.

All this can be done without showing yourself up to him, without letting him know how much he’s hurt you (because it won’t matter to him that he did and that will only hurt you more)

You can do this. Absolutely can.

Rooting for you!

PierceHawthornesSexDungeon · 29/04/2020 00:31

Your power is in your silence. Yes write the letter, get it all out but FGS don't send it.

You've had a lucky escape.

ViciousJackdaw · 29/04/2020 00:55

@Curiositykilledthecat113 We cannot determine your gender from your posts, you could be a transman or a gender neutral garlic press for all we know so it's likely 'put the tea on' was a polite way of saying 'fuck off'.

Curiositykilledthecat113 · 29/04/2020 01:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Jojobar · 29/04/2020 01:16

It's really hit me tonight how hurt I am by his intransigence. How I truly loved him and he didn't love or respect me in the same way. I believed he did, everyone around me thought we were the perfect couple. He made my life so much better and we had many happy times together, as recently as last month. And now it's done. And no email I send will change that I know but it really hurts. And I have literally no one to talk to about it, because my best friend is him.

OP posts:
springydaff · 29/04/2020 01:26

Flowers Flowers Flowers I'm so sorry you're hurting op.

(Please start another thread in relationships. AIBU can be vicious xx)

Jojobar · 29/04/2020 01:37

Thanks springydaff. It's shit. I need to be up for work in 6 hours but sleep is hard to come by right now.

I know this is AIBU but with a couple of exceptions everyone has been constructive and kind in their advice, which I really appreciate. It's made a bad situation a bit better.

OP posts:
popsydoodle4444 · 29/04/2020 01:40

@Jojobar

Ffs just stop putting yourself down saying you won't find someone better/no decent bloke with a PHD etc will want you.

2 shit men doesn't make you undeserving of happiness.

You can meet a plumber/taxi driver/ builder/chef etc who could turn out to be the funniest,down to earth,kindest man you've ever met.

Stay away from the giant dickhead you want to email,accept your going to feel like complete shite for a while and then pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

notangelinajolie · 29/04/2020 01:44

My God this relationship is such a faff. Be glad he is gone.

Dreamscomingtrue · 29/04/2020 01:49

I’m sorry to bring you down to my level OP but I read R&J as Richard and Judy!

I then realised you meant Romeo and Juliet.

I’ll get my coat.

Jojobar · 29/04/2020 01:52

Popsydoodle, I did explain upthread that I dont date, have never really dated, men with degrees. That's never been a deal-breaker for me. My ex has almost no qualifications, although he does have a very well paid job. I don't care what exams someone has passed or how much money they've got, I just wanted someone who wasnt intimidated by me, valued me, and who like me wanted a partnership of equals. It took me years to find one person who (I thought) was those things. He wasn't. I'd like to hope maybe I can find someone else eventually but there are so few men in that category (in my experience) that it may be a very long wait.

OP posts:
Jojobar · 29/04/2020 01:54

Ah Dreams that has given me a real laugh, thank you! GrinGrin

OP posts:
famousforwrongreason · 29/04/2020 02:07

How bizarre. After blocking my dishonest ex everywhere he got in via email.
Against my better judgement I stupidly decided to try and get my point across.
We've now had two full days of arguing via email.
He still doesn't see my point and I now have a massive headache and have been dispirited and low in mood.
He won't accept any responsibility for anything and I keep rising to the bait.
Sounds so similar to your Situation.
Take it from me,, it's a complete waste of time and effort

UnderTheIroningBoard · 29/04/2020 03:22

Don't open any more dialogue with him is my advice. What will it achieve, unless you want to get back into a relationship with him?
Write the email out if you like, and then delete it, forget him and move on.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 29/04/2020 03:29

Grin no locksmith bills - another plus!
As well as seeing the back of him - you're well rid.

Turtletotem · 29/04/2020 04:09

I think write yourself an e-mail in the voice of a friend who this has all happened to. When you read it you will know this is the right thing.
You will meet someone and you will be happy and valued in the way you deserve. Best of luck.

ToastedHaMSandwich · 29/04/2020 07:25

I’m sorry you’re hurting JoJo. Early hours are shit at times. Could you try putting soothing music on? You tube has lots which play for hours. I found them helpful to settle raging thoughts. Or play a podcast or an audio book or radio play. I found I’d drop off to sleep and it would be a calmer sleep

Hope you have a better day. It’s doubly shit during lockdown as you can’t even immerse yourself in a hobby or volunteering venture

Offering a hand hold to you

TooTrueToBeGood · 29/04/2020 08:31

You wouldn't be human if you weren't hurting like crazy. You were in love and thought you'd found your soulmate and now that's all been ripped away from you. It will get better with time if you allow yourself to heal and try not to dwell on the negative thoughts.

Be kind to yourself. This wasn't your fault, he just wasn't being honest about who he really was and you trusted him.

DDiva · 29/04/2020 08:39

Sounds like you're better off without him dont waste your energy.....

Jojobar · 29/04/2020 08:55

Thanks - again! I managed to get some sleep, will be mostly powered by coffee today but at least work is busy which will keep my mind occupied rather than dwelling on the past and negative thoughts. I'm sure he's not thinking about me so I shouldn't give him any of my headspace.

And to paraphrase a quote from one of my favourite films, Clueless (see not always highbrow!) he'll have a frustrating and miserable life no matter what he does.

This is his loss. And if he's too stupid to see that, to have seen what he was doing and still allowed it to happen, he's too stupid for me.

OP posts:
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